The Season 4 Finale is here! Welcome to Episode 9 of Season 4 of the Dating After Divorce Survival Guide.  Seasons change as do situations. Life is a mixed bag of peaks and valleys. The thing about life is that it isn’t fair and doesn’t care about what you’re going through or whatever relationship issues you may be having when it decides that it isn’t going to be fair. In this episode, life moves in the direction of the real where being grown will truly be tested. This episode is dedicated to the memory of Jobe Leon Payne, my father. To learn more about his groundbreaking work in the medi ..read more

In this installment of the Dating After Divorce Survival Guide, my family life and my dating life begin to intersect. My youngest is older and has some pretty strong opinions on how her mother and I should be conducting ourselves as single, dating people. I call the woman who was Dressed In All Black Like the Omen (Episode 2) and I'm faced with a great opportunity, but my ego may be in the way...or perhaps it is my savior in disguise. ----------------- To learn more about the show and more, visit: http://datingafterdivorce.guide  To follow me on Instagram: http://instragram.com/ericl ..read more

You have to be old enough to have seen The Omen AND current enough (if you call the 90s current) to remember Lil’ Kim’s iconic line in “All About the Benjamins” to catch the reference I’m dropping here. Episode 2 of Season 4 of The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide continues with the ongoing my ongoing post-divorce journey. Broken boundaries, making myself small, the past, present, and an unconfirmed future relationship collide at a birthday party where my insecurities are running high from the way I look, what I have to offer as a person, to the clothes I'm wearing. Although the growth is r ..read more

We're back like we never left! By we, I mean me because I really don't speak in the third person. Season Four kicks off with literally everything that could go wrong going full-speed into Wrong-Ville and Drama Town with a whole lot of texting and not enough talking, but along the way I discover and/or am reminded of the following: What to do when co-parenting goes all the way wrong Desire versus capacity Freedom from the thoughts and opinions of others The gift of the cold hard truth Correction versus protection Remembering your value and what you owe others If you enjoyed the episode: Ple ..read more

The Dating After Divorce Survival Guide is a serial podcast that thoughtfully and often hilariously narrates the journey of retired fatherhood blogger Eric Payne as he navigates the challenges of "starting over" after divorce. From one-night stands to ghosting to online dating, to mental anguish and heartbreak to the self-care that is required of a 40+, divorced Black man and father in America, Eric tackles it all with fearless transparency, vulnerability, and a refreshing sense of humor — especially when it comes to making fun of himself.  The Dating After Divorce Survival Guid ..read more

"Revenge is mine!" sayeth the Lord. Revenge may look cool and might seem like a good idea in the movies when the hero goes for broke to even the odds. But that’s the movies. In real life, not so much. Revenge sex (not to be confused with make-up sex) is an even worse idea. But that doesn’t stop me. Mad, sad, disappointed, upset, and completely knocked off my game thanks to the events of Episode 5, A New Orleans Ghost Story, revenge is on my mind. But revenge doesn't accomplish much. EPISODE TOPICS: (00:14) Act 1: Acting out of Anger and Living in Echo Chambers Stuck in someone else's pai ..read more

Moving right along from Episode 3 and just in time for Valentine's Day (if you haven't listened to it start there, actually just start at Season 1 because this is a story, not a podcast made up of standalone episodes)! It's the holidays and yours truly, Eric Payne, The Divorced Dillinger, travels home to visit the family! Before it's all over I will have eaten my way through Chicago, connected with old friends, weighed in polygamy, and held court with a trio of prayer warriors. See below for the episode acts and topics and their timestamps: (03:47) Act 1: Dealing With Rejection How rejection ..read more

When the past sends you a text, you: respond happily and pick up where you left off. ignore it and possibly block them. run like the wind. break your phone, then change your number. Some of the above. None of the above. In Episode 8 of Season 4, the Past makes a surprise appearance in my life while I navigate a new career opportunity, my singleness, am uncomfortable walk down social media memory lane, and my growing hypocrisy as it relates to one person in particular. Topics covered in this episode: managing expectations in relationships and managing emotions because of and despite past and ..read more

Picking up where we left off at Episode 6: After a year of misses capped off by holiday heartache, I have an “aha” moment that leads me to create new boundaries, manage my expectations, and finally gain peace of mind as it relates to my ex-wife and all my relationships. But in almost the same breath, I break an old boundary in a moment of weakness as I move two steps forward but three steps backward into 2019. Be sure you listen to the end. Every fight isn't worth winning. Sometimes you simply have to walk away. IG: @datingafterdivorcesurvival & @ericlpayne ------------------------ Th ..read more

Fresh of the Birthday Debacle from Episode One, the Divorced Dillenger (Yours Truly) is coming to grips once again with being single and not wanting to just "mingle" if you get what I'm saying. So what do I do to create a love connection? I go to "The Gram!" Oh boy... Episode topics:  Instagram, the pros and cons of the app Instagram, the source of much emotional and mental stress Instagram as a dating app, what to do and what not to do (aka "Instagram Hunting") How to shoot your shot on Instagram ---------------- EPISODE LINKS: The poem, A Passing Want: http://epayne.me/poetrybook You ..read more