One way to understand our three Lenten practices: Prayer, Almsgiving, and Fasting, is through the lens of relationships. We can see it as a way in which we slowly become more loving in three aspects. Through Prayer, we try to refocus on our relationship with God. Through almsgiving, we improve our relationships with those around us. Almsgiving helps us sensitize our hearts to the needs of those around us, especially those who are most forgotten. How is fasting a loving thing then? I think fasting helps us heal our relationship with ourselves. We are often living in automatic, responding to th ..read more

Stephen Covey wrote”The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People” One of the habits he discusses there is “Being Proactive” He says that one way of thinking about our inner life is through the following diagram: We experience a stimulus, and we respond. However, this is a very basic, almost animalistic way of responding. If our dog is hungry, it will eat; if another dog barks, our dog will bark back. However, he suggests that humans have a tremendous capacity to choose our response. That means that between the stimulus that we constantly receive and our response, we can create a space. This sp ..read more

This Lenten season, starting on February 14th, St. Valentine’s day, presents us with a unique opportunity: to read this season through the lenses of Love. It's an opportunity to reflect not just on the traditional practices of fasting (which may help us grow in freedom), prayer and alms giving, and not see them as ends in themselves, but use them to help us become more loving people.  In the wise words of St. Ignatius, love shows itself more through actions than words. This Lent, let's embody this principle by actively becoming aware of God’s love for us, and demonstrating love in our da ..read more

It can be difficult to confront someone when we are disappointed or unhappy with their behavior. We might tend to avoid conflict and gravitate towards either avoiding the person altogether or compromising our own values in order to maintain the relationship. However, sometimes reproaching someone is the best course of action, especially if the behavior in question is causing harm, is causing us to feel disrespected or unsupported, or if we consider the person to have sinned against me.  Reproach is a powerful tool that can be used to express disappointment or disapproval, but it is impor ..read more

In Matthew 18:15-20, Jesus provides guidance for what to do when someone has sinned against me. This process can be an effective way to resolve conflicts and foster understanding and reconciliation in our relationships after a situation of sin against me has happened. The previous week we handled how to tackle regular interactions, not sinful ones. Thankfully our faith has some pointers in this sticky situation as well. However, it is important to follow the steps in the correct order in order to avoid making an even worse mess of an already bad situation. Step 1: Talk to the person in privat ..read more

Being human is hard, and we're all trying our best. I'm sure we've all been in situations where we could not express ourselves fully. It's a relief when our listener assumes the best interpretation. Ignatius of Loyola, when giving advice to Spiritual Directors, says that we should always attempt to begin there. You may ask, but what if what the other person is saying is just wrong? Ignatius thought of that too. He says, when you can’t “save the proposition of the other” then engage with curiosity in asking questions. How do they understand what they are saying? Often, what we assume is complet ..read more

We’ve been exploring three attitudes that St. Ignatius of Loyola suggests as ways of entering into life with a sense of purpose and direction. In the previous post we talked about the attitude of Reverence towards God. If this post is helpful feel free to go back a few posts. We will now be speaking about an attitude of service towards God and others.  It’s worth noting that service is not servitude, or replacement. True Service is towards God must first include the acknowledgement that we are not God, and the world is not ours to save. That would be replacing God. On the other extreme i ..read more

We’ve been exploring three attitudes that St. Ignatius of Loyola suggests as ways of entering into life with a sense of purpose and direction. In the previous post we talked about the attitude of Praise towards God. Feel free to go back and read those two posts. Here we will talk about the attitude of Reverence towards God and others.  Towards God is the recognition of God being totally other, even while we know he is close to us and cares about us. We cannot control God, we cannot fully grasp God. God is greater than my problems and greater than my ideas of what God should do.  T ..read more

In the previous post we looked at three attitudes that Ignatius suggested as guiding posts walking in this life with a sense of purpose and direction. Rather than giving rigid rules Ignatius Proposes three attitudes relating to God: Praise, Reverence and Service. In the previous post we looked at what those meant in our relationship with God. We will now look at what an attitude of genuine praise may look like in our relationships with our fellow human beings.  We said that Praise towards God has to do with living in constant recognition of God’s gifts, a life of gratitude. Praising God ..read more

Ignatius talked about the purpose of life in the Principle and Foundation. In the following posts we’ll explore bit by bit St. Ignatius’ teaching on the subject. It might be worth noting first of all that no one can impose on you a Purpose for your life. Each person must choose it for themselves. However, as a spiritual director I do run into many people engaged in this search. Ignatius talked about three basic attitudes that give us a sense of purpose. It’s surprising that he’d be able to speak of something so large in such a succinct way.  These three basic attitudes are: Praise, Reve ..read more