Christmas and the festive season is meant to be a time full of joy and the gathering of family and friends. However, for many people it’s a sad and painful reminder of the death of a loved one and can exacerbate their feelings of loss and loneliness.  While it may feel like a hard task, it can make a huge amount of difference to someone you know who is grieving when you support them and acknowledge how difficult this time of year is.   Reach out. While you can often feel like you might magnify someone’s pain by talking about their loss, it may be more hurtful if you don’t reach out ..read more

Christmas. There’s nothing quite like the month of December to bring grief to the forefront of our minds and emotions as we lead into what is considered a celebratory time of year. However, for those who have lost a loved one, Christmas can be a tricky and deeply painful time. Prior to the death of my husband, Christmas was about family, togetherness, and love, but Christmas is now different and forever changed. It’s often a stark reminder that a loved member of our family is no longer here and naturally it brings up a huge array of emotions.  I always feel nervous in December, never quit ..read more

After sharing a post on social media recently about my grief journey, a woman admonished me, and it took me by surprise.   It had nothing to do with the content I was sharing, rather she had seen the accompanying photo of me, and noticed my lack of wedding ring and wanted to share her thoughts. As can often happen on the world wide web, it wasn’t overly positive.   The reason she admonished me was because I am widowed and I don’t wear my wedding ring. While I won’t get into the nitty gritty of what was said, it felt obvious that because I no longer wore my wedding ring, I had committ ..read more

Attending your own husband’s funeral is an experience you never tend to imagine and not at the age of 36. But strangely, my husband's funeral was one of the proudest moments of my life.  After the death of Craig, as my body and brain were spiralling from the shock, you might imagine I spent the days following lying in the fetal position with no ability to do a thing. But that wasn’t the case at all. As soon as my thoughts turned to the funeral I was a woman on a mission.  Looking back now I think the funeral gave me something to focus on when my life felt totally out of control.  ..read more

Coronavirus and the first set of restrictions got me good this year. Initially I thought I’d cope okay, after all, I’m no stranger to having life tipped on its head. I mean when your husband dies and you’ve already dealt with emotional, mental, and financial instability, I kind of thought I had Coronavirus in the bag! How wrong I was! The first couple of weeks after lock-down had been announced and dealing with instability and uncertainty again, I woke one week with a familiar and very uncomfortable feeling. The kind I hadn’t experienced for a while.  I was tired. But not an ordinary tire ..read more

In the 1960’s, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross wrote a book and identified five stages of grief. You might have heard of them, but if not, they are as follows – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. But I am going to call bullshit on this. Because in my mind, there’s way more. Way more! In fact I’ve come up with ten, yes ten, extra stages of grief that no one ever told me about. So here’s a little tongue-in-cheek look at the ten extra stages of grief I may or may not have experienced.   DO YOU WANT A PUNCH IN THE FACE? Ever been in a conversation where someone is talking at you and ..read more

It is so hard to know what to do for someone going through a hard time. A friend text me last week telling me the husband of a friend had died. Immediately I was transported back to the early days after my husband’s death and my heart broke for this woman and her children. She wanted my advice about what she could do to help her friend – and more importantly she wanted to know what actually did help! It got me reflecting and thinking. How do we support people who are grieving, what can we do to ease the pain in any way? My first piece of advice on this would be, don’t ask, just do. In my ..read more

If you ever asked me if I like being a solo mother, the simple answer is, no. I don’t like it at all. In fact there have been times I have hated it.  When my husband Craig and I decided to embark on parenthood, it was a decision we made together. We were so lucky that I fell pregnant almost immediately. I didn’t enjoy pregnancy, and my birth is something I’d rather forget and a tale for another time. However, when our little Heidi was put in my arms I fell hopelessly in love with her. More than in love. In fact if Craig and I could have held a parade down the city streets, we would have ..read more

It was while scrolling social media that I came across some news that made my stomach lurch.  An accident on Melbourne’s Eastern Freeway tragically took the lives of four police officers, resulting in the single biggest loss of police lives in Victoria’s history. My stomach felt sick and my heart began to beat hard, as I was transported back to a place of grief and the impact of sudden death and loss.  My heart hurts immensely for the police officers who have so tragically had their lives cut short, and my heart hurts harder for those that are left behind – the partners, wives and hu ..read more

Dear friends, The world has changed. Everything has shifted. There’s no doubt COVID-19 has changed all of us, in a myriad of ways and our brains, emotions and bodies are struggling to keep up.  Feeling punched in the guts, foggy brained and behaving erratically. Swinging from cool, calm and collected to aggravated, overwhelmed and stressed. It’s understandable. The world has changed. Everything has shifted.   I woke up last Monday morning and something didn’t feel right, friends.  My shoulders felt like they were up around my ears and as I made my way into school to drop my daug ..read more