~Kim Libertini There is this thing about grief. It is so different based on who you lost and how you lost them. Yet there are common threads woven into each loss that connect this community of aching hearts. This sentiment was underscored during my recent guest-host in Circles Audio Chat Room.   As the Co-founder of Goodgrief App, I talk about death, loss and grief all of the time.That evening, as I joined this group of grievers, I listened to the stories of those in the throes of grief.  As each person shared their sadness, a wave of emotion struck me like a bolt of lightning ..read more

It was six o’clock on Wednesday evening when I signed into the audio chat room to speak about an incredibly difficult topic – grief. Grief is an umbrella term used for the tumult of emotions and reactions a person experiences after a loved one dies. It’s not always easy to put into words. Since it was my first time doing the chat, I didn’t know what was instore and felt the familiar flutter of anxiety.  One person signed on and after another, until about 17 people had joined the conversation. One offered a warm hello. Another said a timid hi there. Another asked whether their mic was wor ..read more

~Kim Libertini The holidays roll in and I can feel the density of the air increase. My body desperately wants to recoil. It’s an odd year. In the language of divorce this is how I monitor my level of holiday disengagement. On odd years my ex has the kids. No kids means less holiday hoopla. To understand my response to the holidays, you have to peel back my layers. My grief story is compounded by a lack of relationship with my children’s father, the deaths of both of my parents and the tragic loss of my life partner. I am proof. For me, grief is forever an oscillation between warm reminders an ..read more

~Kim Libertini I felt like it needed a name. For years I have called it “The Abyss.” Appropriately, the abyss is defined as a bottomless pit. In times when my heart has been shattered and my mind and body are overwhelmed with pain I find myself there. It’s the place I go to when the bottom drops out and I am overcome by the tidal wave of emotions associated with grief. I have been to the abyss multiple times. “What is it like in the depths of the abyss”, you ask. I am not sure if dark, dingy, overwhelming emptiness and air so thin that it is suffocating adequately describe it. Maybe there are ..read more

~Kim Libertini The road of life is treacherous. The unanticipated twists and turns are difficult to handle.  There are so many unpredictable variables that fold into the journey. It is bumpy and can be very unstable.  For those of us who have experienced head on collisions on this road, it becomes difficult to put ourselves back behind the wheel.       Our self confidence decreases substantially with each incident. We find ourselves constantly questioning and acting with hesitancy.  We pump the brakes on a regular basis out of extreme caution.  ..read more

~Kim Libertini Huntington Bay feeds directly into the Long Island Sound. I live here. Salty air, beaches, and marinas each add to the beauty of this town.  As summer sets in, the waters of Long Island’s north shore are full of life. Boats reflect the vibrant energy of the long summer days and serve as the backdrop to sunsets. On every drive past this shoreline and with each summer sunset, I’ve learned to appreciate the serenity.       Overnight, as summers turn to fall, the waters empty.  Boats disappear from the landscape as they are stored away and th ..read more

~Kim Libertini Stunned. There are no other words to describe the moment. I looked in the mirror at the reflection that has been staring back at me for 46 years. How many times had I attributed visual characteristics like my high cheek bones and rounder eyes to Caucasian genes? Adopted at five-months of age, for most of my life I had very few answers to explain who I was. From as far back as I can recall, I was told I was the daughter of a Vietnamese woman and an American GI. This was part of my story. My identity. I was a part of Miss Saigon. Over the years, I have shared it hundreds of times ..read more

~Kim Libertini I’ve been in a really good place as of late.  Five years ago I could never have imagined being as whole as I feel now.  Recent conversations in both my personal and professional worlds have caused me to examine my life events. As I dig in and unearth the roots of my past, the layers of life experiences directly connect to my grief.  I left home as a senior in high school.  During my college application process FASFA red-flagged me with a claim that I was not a citizen of the US. A long investigation revealed that in the aftermath of Operation Babylift my pap ..read more

~Kim Libertini I walked into the kitchen as my youngest son, now eleven, was climbing on the counter to reach the upper cabinets. He quickly smiled and said, “What happened to those coconut bowls we had? Have you seen them?”  The mention of those bowls take me back to shopping in the Vietnamese market for souvenirs to bring home. The memory is so vivid I can almost feel the July heat in Southeast Asia and smell the fresh spices used to make Hanoi street food. Together we had chosen these beautiful bowls. The outside was made of coconut that had been sanded smooth and the inside looked li ..read more

About one hundred years ago (apologies I’ve lost track of time) when I used to cover United Nations environmental negotiations, the director of the reporting group used to give pep talks to prepare the team for the long days ahead full of pressure, inevitable chaos, and unknown outcomes. He reminded us to become the eye of the storm instead of the hurricane winds buffeting us from all directions. I’m working with that idea today and offer it to you. Each of us contributes to the collective experience. Wouldn’t it be something if we helped augment tranquility and level-headedness instead of add ..read more