5 Reasons Stepmoms Shouldn’t Be Pressured To Love Stepchildren Like Their Own
The Struggling Stepmom Blog
by Brooke Leslie
1y ago
We’ve all been told to do this, by ourselves even. It’s the goal, isn’t it? Love them like they are our children? But when it comes down to it, there are many reasons this is an unreasonable expectation… here’s why. History Stepmoms are coming in after, some of us long after, the children have developed their support system. They have a mom, a dad, aunts, uncles, and grandparents, they aren’t depending on us to survive. When we have children of our own, they do look to us for survival. They get used to us being the ones to take away pain or discomfort. They’ve learned that we are the people t ..read more
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5 Ways to Prep for Mother’s Day as a Stepmom
The Struggling Stepmom Blog
by Brooke Leslie
2y ago
As stepmoms, there is no limit to the occasions that we are left feeling unappreciated, insignificant, or like we simply don’t belong and Mother’s Day is a big one.  Leading up we can feel excited, anxious, and full of hope that this will be the year that we are finally recognized in a way that makes us feel loved and accepted. Then the day comes and the most attention we receive is to be asked what we will be making for dinner which leaves us feeling disappointed, resentful, and frustrated. Why do we even bother…  I’ll tell you why we bother. We love them, or we at least love thei ..read more
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My Top 5 Goals for 2022
The Struggling Stepmom Blog
by Brooke Leslie
2y ago
I’m feeling slightly intimidated to put this out there, but what better way to hold myself to these goals?! If I’m being completely honest, I don’t typically do new years resolutions, or really organize my ideas enough to make them into focused goals, but I want so much out of this year that I figured it would be a good place to start. So, here we go! 1. Finally launch my podcast! This is the big one. I’ve been dreaming of this for months now, and it’s getting closer to being a reality! I finally feel I have the right focus and my ducks are seeming a little less chaotic, not quite in a row, b ..read more
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My Reflections on 2021
The Struggling Stepmom Blog
by Brooke Leslie
2y ago
Is it just me, or did this year fly by? I know we were in the middle of a pandemic, but somehow I am surprised at how quickly time has passed even through the chaos. My maternity leave is coming to an end, my little guys are getting ready to re-enter/enter daycare and the big kids flew out yesterday to prepare for another stint of online schooling. While I am preparing for all that 2022 is going to bring our way, I felt it was important to take a minute to reflect on what worked and what didn’t in 2021. Lets focus on my top three areas, shall we? Career Pros: I was able to put more focus on ..read more
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Five Tips To De-Stress Life As A Stepmom
The Struggling Stepmom Blog
by Brooke Leslie
2y ago
Admittedly I spent years making my life more complicated than it needed to be. Being a stepmom certainly comes with a whole load of stresses, but I didn’t do myself any favors when it came to navigating them. In hopes to help you from making the same mistakes I did, I’ve put together a list of things to make your blended family life run as smoothly as possible. 1. Keep your focus on YOUR home I wasted so much time worrying about what was happening when the kids weren’t with us. So much so, that I missed out on enjoying the time that they were. When we devote our thoughts to what’s going on in ..read more
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Dropping the Better House Contest
The Struggling Stepmom Blog
by Brooke Leslie
2y ago
Being the better house was a central focus for me for years. Doing all the fun things. Having all the best stuff. I wanted the kids to prefer being with us. I wanted this for a few reasons, most of which I’m not very proud of. I loved when we would do something for the first time. First rollercoaster, first camping trip, their first time seeing a movie in 4-D. It didn’t really matter, as long as it was exciting and it was happening with us. I never really considered why this was important to me, but it was. I spent a lot of energy coming up with things that would feed this desire. The mission ..read more
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All I Can Control Is My Response
The Struggling Stepmom Blog
by Brooke Leslie
2y ago
Sometimes I get caught up in the moment. In the drama. In my fear of the kids not knowing the truth. There have been conversations that have resulted in my inability to see past my rage. I lose focus on the bigger picture. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s the truth. This happened recently, but this time I was brought back to what mattered. The kids. The innocent little people who have no control over any of it. I was reminded that all I can control is my response. We were hoping to gain some clarity, that was the intention behind this text exchange. In the end, we were just as confus ..read more
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Accepting You Do Not Have A First Family
The Struggling Stepmom Blog
by Brooke Leslie
2y ago
Being a stepmom is hard. We all know this. We have to endure battles that started before us, bite our tongues when we want to scream and accept the unacceptable. There are struggles that we never anticipated having to work through. For me, it’s been accepting that I do not get a first family. Knowing that my husband experienced becoming a father with someone else. Understanding that financial decisions are not solely decided in our home. Learning the weight of mom guilt is multiplied when the children were created by someone else. It’s funny, or maybe not, the things that end up bothering us ..read more
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It’s Not My Stepkids, It’s Me
The Struggling Stepmom Blog
by Brooke Leslie
2y ago
Being a stepmom is hard. I can tend to have a bit of a temper and my filter wasn’t always at the ready when words would fly out of my mouth. These characteristics aren’t exactly ideal when it comes to being in a blended family. I remember the feeling, the pit in my stomach, whenever I’d be told how mom does it. I would instantly feel defensive. Although I rarely responded with a snippy comment, it took everything in me to bite my tongue. Lesson’s from the bio mom on how to parent, keep a house or clean the damn kitchen sink was the last thing I wanted. It took me years to get over these feeli ..read more
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Transition Day For The Long Distance Blended Family
The Struggling Stepmom Blog
by Brooke Leslie
2y ago
I’m currently on maternity leave with the youngest. I was grateful for the timing, mostly because I got to be home for two summers with all of the kids. Typically I do save my vacation time for when the big kids are with us, but it was so nice being able to be together for the full eight weeks this year. It may be because of the extra time, or maybe we are just becoming more bonded, but it seemed like the summer flew by even faster than usual. I was dreading the kids leaving. It takes time for the hole they leave behind to fill back in. Their bedrooms seem so empty and still. I can’t bring my ..read more
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