#317 Fawning – What Is It, Why Do We Do It, and How To Stop
Intentional Living with Tanya Hale
by Tanya Hale: Certified Life Coach
2d ago
In recent years, fawning has been added to the survival responses of flight, flight, and freeze. While fight is a conflict strategy and flight and freeze are avoidant strategies, fawning is referred to as an appeasement strategy.  When we fawn we seek to bring ourselves into alignment with the other person, who our brains perceive as a threat, by people-pleasing, saying yes when we want to say no, or doing what it takes to avoid conflict. Though fawning can work out well short-term by diffusing the situation, it makes it impossible for us to create healthy relationships.  Understandi ..read more
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#316 Confidence To Make Tough Decisions
Intentional Living with Tanya Hale
by Tanya Hale: Certified Life Coach
1w ago
Sometimes the decisions we need to make feel overwhelming and super scary.  And because of that we hesitate and procrastinate, and we drag it out and cause ourselves extra hours, days, weeks, months, or even years of angst as we struggle to make the decision.  How can we find the confidence to make decisions easier and faster?  And how will we know if the decision we make is right?  The answer to those question lies in our SELF confidence ..read more
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#315 Mid-Life Crisis? Yes, Please!
Intentional Living with Tanya Hale
by Tanya Hale: Certified Life Coach
2w ago
People having a mid-life crisis is common enough that it is often the focus of movies and tv shows, memes and jokes.  It is often portrayed as middle-aged people buying expensive cars or running off and having an affair.  But a mid-life crisis does not need to be something that brings down the financial well-being or the family.  If we understand it and approach it from the inside, rather than the outside, it can be an amazing turning point in our lives for tapping into our life's possibility, of creating a renewed zest and energy for life that feels amazing.  In that conte ..read more
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#314 When Setting Boundaries Is Hard
Intentional Living with Tanya Hale
by Tanya Hale: Certified Life Coach
3w ago
Setting healthy boundaries is an important part in every relationship, and sometimes, it is just so hard.  When the other person is not happy about the boundary, when they get angry or make accusations or threats, it can be so challenging to stick with what we feel is important for our relationship.  So, when we get pushback from those few special people in our lives, how can we hold to the boudaries that we decided to set?   ..read more
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#313 Divorce Is Not the End, Part 2
Intentional Living with Tanya Hale
by Tanya Hale: Certified Life Coach
1M ago
This week I get to interview my husband, Sione, on his experience with moving forward after divorce.  Though it can often feel as though divorce is the end, and it absolutely is in some ways, it can also be the beginning of greater self-awareness, cleaning up your dysfunctional behaviors, and creating a life, and even a relationship, you could only dream about when you were in the thick of a really difficult marriage ..read more
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#311 The Business and the Personal of Relationships
Intentional Living with Tanya Hale
by Tanya Hale: Certified Life Coach
1M ago
There are parts of our relationships that we would consider 'business', and parts that we would consider 'personal'.  When we get the two all jumbled together, we end up with a lot of drama and miscommunication.  On this podcast I'm talking with my great friend and fellow coach Wendy Lee Johnson about how we can recognize these two aspects of our relationships and approach them differently to strengthen them.  Check her out at www.wendyleejohnsoncoaching.com and on her podcast 'Parenting the Tough Stuff ..read more
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#310 Understanding Our Adaptive Child - 'Us- by Terrence Real
Intentional Living with Tanya Hale
by Tanya Hale: Certified Life Coach
1M ago
In Terrence Real's new book 'Us', (one of my newest favorites) he talks about our adaptive child.  This is the part of us that learned to adapt to the dysfunctional parts of our childhoods, which we all had.  And although these adaptive behaviors served and protected us as children, very often they are destructive to our adult relationships.  In this episode, I am sharing Terry's insight about our adaptive child and how engage our 'wise adult' instead ..read more
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#309 What An Equal Relationship Looks Like
Intentional Living with Tanya Hale
by Tanya Hale: Certified Life Coach
2M ago
When I work with many of my clients regarding their one-up and one-down beliefs and behaviors, they often find themselves at a loss to describe what an equal response would look like or sound like in their circumstance.  We don't live in a world where equal partnerships have been modeled for us, in fact, mostly we live in a world where the opposite has been modeled, in our families or origin, extended families and friends' families, and on TV and in movies.  In this podcast, I dig a little deeper into what equal relationships look and sound like and how we can move our relationships ..read more
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#308 Stop Dabbling and Start Doing
Intentional Living with Tanya Hale
by Tanya Hale: Certified Life Coach
2M ago
Some of the areas where we can feel the most stuck in our lives are places where we are just dabbling with change in our lives rather than digging in and doing what needs to happen to create the change we want.  And yet, dabbling is comfortable and easy and even justifiable, whereas committing to doing is scary and risky and requires some determination and courage.  When we choose to move into doing, into some dogged determination to create the change we want, we will create said change.  And once the commitment is fully made, we will even find and energy and drive behind us tha ..read more
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#307 Curiosity, Not Criticism
Intentional Living with Tanya Hale
by Tanya Hale: Certified Life Coach
2M ago
When we're not paying close attention, we can very easily slip into critical words and behaviors in our relationships.  Often, we won't even see it, because in our minds we are being helpful or just expressing concern or our opinion, but it can still very easily be perceived as criticism.  And criticism breaks down relationship by treading on trust and respect.  When we create awareness around our critical tendencies, stop criticizing, and instead move into curiosity, we create deeper connection and intimacy.  Curiosity strengthens our relationships whereas criticism destro ..read more
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