In this very special episode Sascha, Jana and I introduce ourselves and each other to our disappointment creatures. They are a rag-tag crew, but (in my opinion) overall pretty great. I would send them on any number of missions together.  We talk about the utility of disappointment, it's reasons for being, what kinds of disappointment was served up at our various childhood tables, the appropriate age for disappointment to go into private legal practice and what conditions might prompt her to give the courtroom up  for a nice, plush couch and some daytime TV. I find out my disappointm ..read more

In this episode (which I accidentally posted unedited the other day, and 14 of you listened to, likely with a feeling of confusion, before Sascha realized what I'd done and fixed it) Sascha and I say I love you to each other, again and again.  It makes me feel squirmy joyful and fed and so so so so lucky. It's a brave experiment - asking someone you know loves to tell you why they love you.  It's not for everyone, but if you ever want to try it, come on over the The House for a grief spill. I've never left one without strong love pooled up inside me for each person there. If you're ..read more

Sascha talks with her husband Peter about the effect of unprocessed and intergenerational grief - how and where it  hangs around. They talk about how Peter went about even noticing it and what it is to reconcile a painful past of genocide and suicide, especially when it lives in our bodies and in the shadows.  ..read more

In this episode Sascha and I talked about our dread vessels; the space inside our hearts and minds that is reserved for dread and fear.  We wondered about the nature of the vessel and if it can be shrunk. We thought of strategies by which we might understand it more, how things come pouring in, how they pour out, what things never leave, what could never be inside it. It was really helpful and I felt glad and more stable. Then I forgot our conversation and trotted off into my life dreading just like before. But then I listened again today and - it helped me again. I like talking to Sasc ..read more

In this episode Sascha and I talked about our dread vessels; the space inside our hearts and minds that is reserved for dread and fear.  We wondered about the nature of the vessel and if it can be shrunk. We thought of strategies by which we might understand it more, how things come pouring in, how they pour out, what things never leave, what could never be inside it. It was really helpful and I felt glad and more stable. Then I forgot our conversation and trotted off into my life dreading just like before. But then I listened again today and - it helped me again. I like talking to Sasc ..read more

What happens when the worst thing arrives? What makes the worst thing the worst? How does it stay the worst? What happens if it doesn't? What breaks and what doesn't when the worst thing shows up at the door? What takes the place of the worst thing when the worst thing is past?  In this episode Sascha and I compare notes about worst things we have outlived and those we are currently dreading. Come peruse the worst of the worst with us ..read more

In this episode we explore trust – what it means to “earn trust”, the markers we use to identify people as trustworthy, and experiences and circumstances that build barriers to trust. We talk about baths as a shortcut to secure friendship, swimming in the ocean in combat boots and the particular kind of trust evoked by Millie Vanilli in the early 90’s ..read more

What happens when the worst thing arrives? What makes the worst thing the worst? How does it stay the worst? What happens if it doesn't? What breaks and what doesn't when the worst thing shows up at the door? What takes the place of the worst thing when the worst thing is past?  In this episode Sascha and I compare notes about worst things we have outlived and those we are currently dreading. Come peruse the worst of the worst with us ..read more

In this special episode two of my favorite Portland women, Jenny Serna and Moe Bowstern,  talk about their magic.    We constructed this episode in a universe's grab-bag/Stir The Pot sort of way - I made a list of questions, Moe and Jenny took turns choosing numbers and we trusted the swirling everything to turn up what wanted considering. It was perfect as they are perfect as this whole beautiful, devastating, glorious thing is perfect. Take a listen ..read more

In this special episode Sascha talks with our friend Rachel the space where magic meets intensive care.  Rachel is a ICU nurse and a student of paganism and traditional Earth Magic from the British Isles. She and Sascha talk about the intersection of these two aspects of her life and work, how one might protect magic while embracing modern medicine and allow both to be alive and protected during powerful moments of transition ..read more