What does being assertive mean to you? Does it bring up images of being bossy or rude, or people who must get their own way all the time. Or does it bring to the surface feelings of fear. In her book Perfect AssertivenessJan Ferguson defines it in this way; “Being assertive is about respecting yourself enough to state what you want from other people. It is also about respecting other people and their right to express their own needs.” Here is an example from her book, about something I struggle with, sending food back in a restaurant. Would you say – “Excuse me. What do you call this offering ..read more

Personal development encourages positive thinking and suggests you become the Best Version of You that you can be. But in our modern world we are faced with many challenges in our work, family, and social lives. All set within a society that seems to be focused on economic growth, logicality, and material matters. Sometimes it can all seem a bit overwhelming. So how do people find the energy and the motivation to keep on track. This is where self-care comes in. Even if you change nothing else in your life, do these things; get enough sleep, eat nutritious food, stay hydrated, exercise, and med ..read more

This week is World Autism Acceptance Week. Like most of these sorts of events its purpose is to raise awareness. Everything starts with awareness. You cannot change anything unless you first acknowledge the problem. And here the problem is society. It seems to me that in the last 120 years or so, the world has been waking up to the idea that, western society at least, has been structured around white, heterosexual, neurotypical males. It’s not that there is something wrong with white, heterosexual, neurotypical males, it is that they are actually a minority in the world. Therefore, all of us h ..read more

The GROW model is one of the most popular models used in coaching. This is because it is simple and effective. It is a process model that gives a coach some structure to guide their client through change. It’s most suited where the purpose of the coaching is very goal directed, such as in business or sports. It can be used elsewhere too, though sometimes other approaches may be more beneficial where the topic of coaching is rooted in relationships, emotions, or ideas of self. The model was first labelled as GROW (Goal, Reality, Options, and Will), by Max Landsberg, author of The Tao of Coachin ..read more

Most people would agree that being in a committed long-term romantic relationship with another human being is one of the greatest gifts that life can offer. And that being in an unhappy one is a whole lot worse than being single. Positive romantic relationships can bring joy, and even better health outcomes in our lives. And being in a relationship which is not happy is challenging. But how do you learn how to make relationships work. From your parents, or friends maybe, certainly not in school. This podcast is about relationships and draws on advice from renowned couple’s therapists. So, rega ..read more

I went for a 5K run with my daughter at the weekend. She was surprised that I was running without listening to music. She said, “But you’ll be stuck in your own thoughts all the time.” And what’s wrong with that. I guess the problem is that many people do not have very positive thoughts all, or even most of the time. To be honest I can’t say that the thoughts I have about running, whilst running are always positive either. This is one of the paradoxes of the human experience. We have evolved this wonderful thinking machine, which has raised us ‘above’ everything else on the planet. And yet at ..read more

In recent years society has been taking mental health more seriously, and one thing we are discovering is that positive change is easier than we thought. Although support can be patchy and largely privately provided, mental healing is possible. For hundreds of years the model of physical healing has been the patient, doctor relationship. The patient has the problem, and the doctor has the solution. There is little responsibility taken by the patient, the doctor simply provides the remedy. If the patient undergoes the doctor’s surgery or takes the doctor’s pills, then they get better. But the e ..read more

Language of Love One of the most rewarding things that we can do in life is being in a long-term, happy relationship. When this aspect of life works, we feel like we can conquer the world. Yet at the same time if it isn’t working well, if our needs are not being met, then life itself can feel like an insurmountable challenge. NLP is good at helping people to understand themselves and their partner. It can identify, values, beliefs, preferences, and past experiences which contribute to one’s personality. By gaining an appreciation of these in oneself, you can equally, well almost equally, under ..read more

Storytelling is built into human DNA. We like to tell stories and to listen to them. Children learn through story structure, and adults do too. Even when I worked as an account and was presenting monthly financial results, I would look for what story the numbers were telling. This made conveying the relevant messages to others easier. In coaching, training, leadership, and presenting storytelling is essential. This week is National Storytelling week, so use this as a prompt to learn more about stories and storytelling. Stories are about change. I went into the garden and watched a snail move f ..read more

Human evolution is a fascinating subplot in the history of life on Earth. What makes us different is our ability to walk upright and our large brain. Upright walking evolved first about four million years ago. Our branch of the Hominin tree of life, Homo sapiens, are currently judged to have arrived on the world stage about three-hundred-thousand years ago. As well as evolving a large brain, how we use that brain has been, and continues to evolve too. On this podcast I am going to explore a psychological model that maps out the evolution of human thinking. This model was developed by Clare Gar ..read more