Fast Foward To The End
Addict Named Mom
by Addict Named Mom
2M ago
Play the tape It’s not easy to choose this life every day. Especially when things aren’t going my way. When this happens, my broken brain starts forming bizarre ideas like running away and leaving my children and husband behind. I realized recently that, how I handle those moments is so crucial. Not only because It’s easy to slip into the denial that it was a good time or that maybe I didn’t really have a problem, but forgetting the most gut-wrenching parts that brought me here, to begin with. A wise man once told me, “The past is a gift, those who forget it are doomed to repeat.” Well, it’s r ..read more
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Fuck The Mess: One mom’s epiphany to sanity
Addict Named Mom
by Addict Named Mom
2M ago
None of it will matter in the end, you know. The dirty dishes. The mountains of laundry. The scrubbing. The sweeping. The mopping. It’s all for nothing. All of it. The incessant obsession to do more. ‘The unrealistic goal’ that my happiness lies at the end of the finish line that is just beyond that tunnel. Yeah, newsflash for self: There isn’t one. At least not here. I know that perfection is unattainable and yet, here I go, like clockwork, every morning to get it all in order and squared away. The repetitious momentum reminds me of slavery. Only, I am the master and the slave. Or better yet ..read more
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The Breakup Letter I wrote to the Disease of Addiction
Addict Named Mom
by Addict Named Mom
2M ago
Pick up the pen and start writing Some people might think it’s weird to break up with a disease that you will have for the rest of your life. Contrary to this being true, I found that it was very therapeutic. Sure, we will always have this disease but we can choose to starve it by not allowing it to control our actions or shall I say our reactions to life. I also believe that you don’t even have to be an addict to write a letter to the inner critic that will not stop talking. That chatty Kathy in our mental space needs to be told to shut up from time to time, but what about completely ending t ..read more
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How to get out of the funk
Addict Named Mom
by Addict Named Mom
2M ago
I have a better word for depression. I’d like to call it The Funk, and respectfully so… I’d like to tell it to go fuck itself! Last week, I found myself in the grip of this Funk. It was a dark, lonely, and hopeless mental space that didn’t feel easy to just snap out of. Usually, I can convince myself that I need to stay strong and not allow it to consume me. But, this time… this time was different. It was almost as if it sunk its teeth right into my box of tools and ate them simultaneously. I am no stranger to depression. I have had my moments every now and then. The feeling of melancholy, te ..read more
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Embracing the feelings of being human
Addict Named Mom
by Addict Named Mom
2M ago
I have come to terms with what it means to be human. I no longer have to fight the basic nature of being one. Being something so imperfect and beautiful with an array of emotions, feelings, and flaws… I found myself wanting to chase away anything that felt remotely uncomfortable and painful. Which, all of it did feel painful and uncomfortable. To the point where I wore so many masks that covered up my wounds and prevented me from healing. Stuffing it all down, in hopes of forgetting and never really facing it. When facing it all along was that very thing that I needed to do. The discomfort of ..read more
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What it’s like being addicted to drugs
Addict Named Mom
by Addict Named Mom
2M ago
So, you want to know what it feels like? It feels like you can stop today but don’t want to. It feels like just yesterday you were able to stop but now you can’t. It feels like you’re completely shackled. Powerless. Broken. Lost. Almost like a soldier that was thrown into a war unprepared. It feels like you’re a prisoner to this voice that you can’t stop hearing that tells you that you need more. It feels like there’s some kind of parasite in your body draining you of life; and knowing – the only way to escape it – is to listen to that voice. And so, you do. It feels like every choice has been ..read more
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The Road to Recovery Is Paved With Desperation
Addict Named Mom
by Addict Named Mom
2M ago
I marched down this lonely and cold road with bloody, blistered feet. The gravel felt like knives puncturing them with every step I’d take. I hadn’t eaten in days but, my stomach didn’t even seem to notice. My eyes were dark and glazed with hammocks of blue resting under them. Desperation filled my heart and the need for more filled my aching bones. I looked at the street signs and all I could see written on them was “My Way.” This road I had been walking was the one that I chose. The thought of turning around wasn’t an option. The days began to blend together as I continued on this path, leav ..read more
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Turning over a new leaf
Addict Named Mom
by Addict Named Mom
3M ago
Writing has always been apart of my life. I might as well have been born with a pen and composition book clenched in my tiny hands. I learned how to read when I was about six and fell in love with stories. I realized very young that if I can read then I can write and if I can write; well, I can tell any story I want. Maybe my own? Once I started using drugs that kind of all fell to the wayside. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I would try but all that was left were illegible scribbles and smears of my own blood. You heard me correctly. So after I got clean, I thought about how cool it would be to s ..read more
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Fast Foward To The End
Addict Named Mom
by Addict Named Mom
1y ago
Play the tape It’s not easy to choose this life every day. Especially when things aren’t going my way. When this happens, my broken brain starts forming bizarre ideas like running away and leaving my children and husband behind. I realized recently that, how I handle those moments is so crucial. Not only because It’s easy to slip into the denial that it was a good time or that maybe I didn’t really have a problem, but forgetting the most gut-wrenching parts that brought me here, to begin with. A wise man once told me, “The past is a gift, those who forget it are doomed to repeat.” Well, it’s r ..read more
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About Me – Addict Named Mom
Addict Named Mom
by Addict Named Mom
1y ago
Photo by Pexels I’m just your Average thirty-something mom and wife residing in commonplace suburbia with my husband, our three kids, two guinea pigs, and a cat. I love coffee more than Lorelai Gilmore and music is my all-time favorite kind of soul food. My life today is much different than it was growing up. As a child, I always felt very alone and different compared to the other kids. There was a time when my only friend was myself, my cousins, or a pen. When I wrote, I felt like I was less heavy, and for a while, it seemed to help me release some of the pent-up feelings I was suppressing. I ..read more
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