You are always greated by a smile here When I stepped off the plane in Costa Rica a few days ago I was reminded of the smiles here. Costa Ricans (or Ticos as they call themselves) have the best smiles. They are big and bold and welcoming. Everyone smiles at you here—the person working on the gardens, the person you pass on the sidewalk, the customs agent, the fishmonger, everyone. And the smiles are genuine. They also always have time for a chat. They are endlessly polite—even when they are saying no. People seem truly happy here. They don’t think of things the way we do. They don’t rush an ..read more

Progress is what counts  We all have things we want to be better at--our job, our relationships, our self care, getting over things, hobbies, life.    Too often we spend time looking at how far below the line we fall--on average we spend 12% of our waking hours comparing ourselves to others, often negatively(that’s about an hour a day!).   This looking at how far you have to go is often daunting, makes us feel frustrated and it's self-defeating.  It is like the kid in the car constantly asking  "Are we there yet?".    It doesn't take into accoun ..read more

This is really true for me  “You are your ancestors’ wildest dreams.” I heard this phrase for the first time recently and it stopped me in my tracks. I couldn't get it out of my head.  I just loved the truth of it. It is really true for me and my siblings. My parents, my grandparents, their parents could not have imagined this life—it would be beyond their wildest dreams. It is all they wanted for us and more. In many ways my life is beyond my wildest dreams. As a young girl, I had many dreams—bigger and brighter than most of my friends and in all probability well beyond the reach ..read more

We can only go forward. Once again the phrase “getting back to normal” is being bandied about. It makes me a little crazy. I am not sure why anyone thinks they can go back. Everything changes moment by moment. There is never any going back there is only forward. And forward is always new.  Anyone who has gone back to their hometown or reunited with an old friend, knows it’s not the same as before—it can be wonderful but it is not the same. My life has changed in many ways over the last couple of years—I’ve learned I love teaching online, but miss the personal contact of being on-site ..read more

Happiness is possible for all of us.  I was recently asked why I thought a friend was so unhappy all the time--despite good things happening in her life--why couldn't she celebrate the wins?  She has had career success, relationship success, she is bright, accomplished and funny; but she is also constantly negative, gloomy and complaining. She is rarely happy.   As I thought about it, I realized she misses the 3 things I talk about that underlie happiness.   She can't rest in gratitude--there is always a dark side for her or another shoe that might drop.   She can't ..read more

Why don't adults get a quiet time? My grandniece has quiet time every day. She spends time alone with herself and her imagination. She colours, plays with her toys, tells herself stories, sometimes she naps but it’s just a time to rest from the demands of the world. Sounds great doesn’t it? I wondered why we give up this essential as adults. You may tell me you haven't had time for quiet time or had too much quiet time in the last 2 years. If it's the former ask yourself it that is really true or if you and those you love would have benefitted from you taking a few minutes "off" each day.&n ..read more

This year focus on what you can give, not what you want to get Most New Year’s resolutions are focused on ourselves. What we want to accomplish, what we need, what we want to do, what we need to fix. I suggest that this year you focus on what you can give. Here are 4 things you can give every day to everyone you meet:  Unconditional love (the gift of compassion, forgiveness, mercy, grace, love) Joy (the gift of fun and laughter) Power (the gift of faith and trust in others) Respect (fulfill the deep desire we all have to be recognized and accepted) Incidentally giving these things to ot ..read more

It's a time to focus on acceptance Just as things were feeling a little more like normal—up jumped Omicron! Now our holiday and travel plans are up in the air and we are scrambling to get our booster shots.  We are all tired of this. We feel frustrated, disappointed, sad, afraid, and just generally fed up with this virus.  I am feeling this too. But I am also recognizing the lesson here—we don’t control anything but our actions and our intentions. It is a time for great equanimity and acceptance—something that is tough for an extroverted “A type“ personality like me.  It’s ..read more

Most secrets do more harm than good. I am not a big fan of secrets. I am ok with secrets about surprise parties, jokes, presents etc. But, I am mystified by all the other things people ask me to keep secret—I respect it; but I don’t get it. Most secrets do more harm than good. When we don’t want people to know we are hurting or sad or ill or that something bad happened or that we are confused or lonely or in some other pain, it just cuts us off from support. It leaves us alone with our pain and causes us worry our secret will get out. Nothing heals. I am often asked to keep secret—by my fa ..read more

We all deserve to be happy--right now! Happiness is our birthright. We all deserve to be happy every day.  You deserve to be happy right now.  Make it your anchor:; your touchstone. But many of us don’t trust happiness—we might have been taught that being too happy was an invitation for something bad to happen, or that it was self-indulgent or that we were put here to suffer! I think that is just nonsense.   Every life has pain, loss and sadness. Every life has suffering. I have had my fair share of suffering (sometimes of my own making) and I have seen others suffer. I ..read more