In this article, I discuss how you can use basic principles for managing conflict to manage conflict at holiday gatherings. This Christmas holiday session often features gatherings among family, friends, co-workers and others. Although many of these gatherings are enjoyable, some of them are stressful. These unpleasant gatherings often involve conflict resulting from people with different attitudes on issues ranging from politics to religion interacting with each other. Managing this conflict effectively can make these unpleasant gatherings less unpleasant and even enjoyable in some circumstan ..read more

Using the 2024 United States presidential election as an example, in this article I discuss how people cope with failures by identifying and acting on causal factors. Experiencing failures is part of life whether they happen in school, career, sports, relationships and many other areas. Nobody is immune from at least some failures. As such, having psychological skills to cope with this adversity is beneficial for mental health and long-term success. One set of skills for coping with failures focuses on how we think about them. In particular, the factors which we decide on as the causes of the ..read more

Using the United States presidential campaign as an example, in this article I discuss the challenges politicians face in balancing between behaving as a high self-monitor and a low self-monitor. In my education as a psychologist, I was taught about a personality characteristic known as self-monitoring. It refers to the extent to which people keep track of the impressions they are making on others in social situations. High self-monitors do more of this keeping track than do low self-monitors. The benefit of self-monitoring is that it makes it easier for the person to fit into various social s ..read more

In this article, I discuss the importance of focusing on tasks while maintaining balance in one’s life when pursuing goals. I recently watched a compelling documentary film entitled The Weight of Gold. Narrated by swimming legend Michael Phelps, the film featured the mental health challenges faced by several American Olympians in various sports. The common theme underlying the emotional difficulties of these athletes was the pressure they felt from focusing completely on their Olympic goals while having little balance from engaging in activities and relationships in other parts of their lives ..read more

Using the recent United States presidential debate as an example, in this article I discuss the benefits of rehearsing and the costs of not rehearsing ahead of a challenging performance in front of an audience. Like millions of people around the world, I watched the recent United States presidential campaign debate between Democratic nominee Kamala Harris and Republican nominee Donald Trump. And although the debate was a key component of the campaign from a political standpoint, as a psychologist I was intrigued by the role psychology played in the debate’s outcome.  ‘ What struck me the ..read more

In this article, I discuss how the positive effects of ingroup bias can be used to decrease its negative effects. In my last article, I began by discussing the well-known negative effects of ingroup bias. This centers on the many ways we treat people who are not in our groups more negatively compared to how we treat people who are in groups to which we belong. I then discussed the less well-known positive effects of ingroup bias. These focus on the beneficial consequences ingroup bias has on our relationships with people who are members of groups to which we belong or with which we identify. F ..read more

In this article, I will discuss the well-known negative effects and the underappreciated positive effects which occur based on groups to which we belong. Among the longest-standing and robust findings in psychological research is ingroup bias—often called ingroup favouritism. It refers to people’s tendency to favour people who are members of groups or categories to which they belong or with which they identify over people who are members of groups or categories to which they do not belong or with which they do not identify.’ Much discussion of ingroup bias focuses on its negative effects. This ..read more

In this article, I will discuss whether it is worth pursuing challenging goals in the context of the recently concluded Summer Olympic Games from Paris. Like millions of viewers across the globe, I was riveted by the recent 2024 Summer Olympic Games from Paris, France. As a psychologist, I was particularly fascinated by the elation experienced by athletes who achieved their goals of winning medals—for some of them gold medals. I was equally moved by the disappointment and, in some cases, devastation experienced by other athletes who did not achieve their goals. These events provided me with th ..read more

In this article, I will discuss how couples’ management of their need for control affects their success in managing conflict. Managing conflict effectively is a fundamental skill to having a good relationship. There are many skills which help couples to achieve this goal. Among the skills is effectively managing a basic motive which we all have—the need for control. In the following sections, I will discuss how couples with good relationships differ from couples with bad relationships in the way that they manage their need for control in conflict situations...[more] The post How to manage conf ..read more

In this article, I will discuss strategies to help you stay on track with your good habits and not return to your bad habits. In my last article, I discussed why some people return to bad habits after having replaced them with good habits. Reasons included having to deal with difficult emotions, encountering challenging situations, having permission-giving thoughts, lacking support to stay on track, and not having a relapse prevention plan. In the following sections, I will indicate ways you can stay on track with your good habits by addressing these factors. In short, I will show you how not ..read more