Quick Thought #22 – Kate Middleton and Filling in the Blanks
Child Abuse Survivor Blog
by Mike McBride
3d ago
Most of the time, we don't know what people are dealing with, but even when we do know, they may react to trauma and stress in ways that don't make sense to us. That's life. That's being human; being mature means accepting and being comfortable with it - not trying to fill in all the blanks yourself. The post Quick Thought #22 – Kate Middleton and Filling in the Blanks appeared first on Child Abuse Survivor ..read more
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Can You Give Eight Minutes to a Loved One in Need?
Child Abuse Survivor Blog
by Mike McBride
2w ago
According to this clip, that's all the time it takes to help someone in pain feel good. Eight minutes. But that's eight minutes where you simply hold space for them, not eight minutes of you speaking or trying to "fix" them. Eight minutes of simply being with them in their pain. The post Can You Give Eight Minutes to a Loved One in Need? appeared first on Child Abuse Survivor ..read more
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Quick Thought #21 – Stark Differences in How I Talk To Myself
Child Abuse Survivor Blog
by Mike McBride
3w ago
I failed to notice that the restaurant only offered pickup orders until we sat around, wondering why I hadn't gotten any notification about our food being on the way. It had been sitting there, getting cold, waiting for us to pick it up for at least 20-25 minutes. We quickly hopped in the car to get it; all the while, I apologized over and over to my wife, berated myself internally for not noticing and screwing up our dinner, etc. When we got there, I ran inside only to discover that the restaurant only had one meal, not two. Part of the order had gotten cut off, and no one caught it until I ..read more
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Unpopular Opinion, The Kids Online Safety Act is Going to Harm More Kids than it Protects
Child Abuse Survivor Blog
by Mike McBride
1M ago
I get it. The people who write these laws live in a world where kids all have a loving family who cares about them and want only to protect them from the evil that exists "out there." They will provide whatever help and information their kids need, and there's no need for them to navigate the wildness of the internet.  But we make information available to kids online because that's not their reality. They don't have supportive parents, they get kicked out for being gay, they are being abused at home, they are dealing with mental health issues their parents refuse to acknowledge, and they ..read more
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On Martin Luther King Day
Child Abuse Survivor Blog
by Mike McBride
2M ago
When I think of the famous speeches of Dr. King, I am always reminded of this fact. We have always seen certain groups of people as less deserving of the rights we willingly claim for ourselves. Be it blacks, immigrants, prisoners, those with mental health struggles or disabilities, members of the LGBTQ community, or addicts, it is far too easy to look at them with judgment and disdain. Maybe even fear. They're different than me. What happens to them is not my concern. They probably brought it on themselves anyway. Those are all too easy to say. The hard work is in looking at people who are d ..read more
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Ending the Year With a Perfect Metaphor for 2023
Child Abuse Survivor Blog
by Mike McBride
3M ago
This was the story of 2023 for me. sitting in the car, gasping for breath, my face swollen, sunglasses no longer completely on my face, lamenting what I should have done differently. The post Ending the Year With a Perfect Metaphor for 2023 appeared first on Child Abuse Survivor ..read more
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Social Connections Don’t Solve Everything But They Matter, A Lot
Child Abuse Survivor Blog
by Mike McBride
3M ago
On the other hand, when we are struggling, our first instinct is often to not get in touch with someone. It's to isolate. I suspect that is because we live in a world that has been telling us to be positive. That feeling down shouldn't be shared, lest we negatively influence our friends and be cut out of their lives. (Good vibes only, am I right?) That's not the way any of this is supposed to work. The post Social Connections Don’t Solve Everything But They Matter, A Lot appeared first on Child Abuse Survivor ..read more
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Loneliness and the Loss of Third Places
Child Abuse Survivor Blog
by Mike McBride
4M ago
We are much more likely to watch Netflix instead of spending time in a third place. We are a culture that is seeing less and less interest in churches, club memberships, leagues, etc., and one that provides fewer clubs, small events, and other spaces for people to hang out in. That has hurt us socially. Media has made us much more afraid of each other, pushing us away from forming communities. (Fox specializes in terrifying their own audience and telling them to keep coming back to learn all the things they should be scared of, and others have followed in their footsteps.)They have helped us ..read more
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The Thing You Enjoy, Can Just be Enjoyed
Child Abuse Survivor Blog
by Mike McBride
5M ago
Now replace the word "pictures" in the link above with whatever you love. Do it not because anyone needs to be impressed or pay you for it, or it'll advance your career, and make you look good to your peers, but just because it's fun. We all need time for fun activities. The post The Thing You Enjoy, Can Just be Enjoyed appeared first on Child Abuse Survivor ..read more
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You’ve Already Done Hard Things
Child Abuse Survivor Blog
by Mike McBride
6M ago
We've already done hard things, but we don't give ourselves credit for it. Typically, we do the opposite, blaming ourselves for the trauma or our mental health struggles, thus seeing ourselves as weak, the kind of people who can't do hard things. That carries over into all aspects of our lives. We don't take risks in jobs, relationships, etc. because we don't think we're capable and we don't think we could survive failure. Which is weird, given how much we have survived. The post You’ve Already Done Hard Things appeared first on Child Abuse Survivor ..read more
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