No matter what our leaders want to include or exclude from the official histories, we know these events happened. We may not be successful in getting large-scale claims of abuse in the history books of the future, though we should try, but we can all continue to talk about them. The mainstream may want us to be quiet about the abuse that happens within the family, the church, etc., but we can tell our stories. We have voices, we have our own spaces online, we have connections, and we have the freedom to speak.  Most of all, we can support the people telling those stories. They are preser ..read more

It's disheartening to think that I've spent over 20 years in the online survivor community advocating that we believe survivors and act on accusations of abuse only to wind up here. This feels like we've gone back to the days of sexual violence being unheard of because no one would dare talk about being a victim. It's enough to make you want to quit. I felt that way last week. As I watched my wife's hope for women across the country leave her body while also being overwhelmingly angry at people who voted for a criminal and a rapist, I wanted to walk away and shut myself off from the world. In ..read more

I enjoyed this clip of Henry Rollins talking about being overwhelmed by the pain and injustice he has seen in his travels. He recognizes that he is "one guy." He can't possibly fix all of it, and trying to would be pointless. So he sees the opportunities where he can make a difference and hopes that more of us will try to "clean the spots" we can, as well. And those little differences start to add up... The post Clean Up the Spot in Front of You appeared first on Child Abuse Survivor ..read more

Imagine frowning upon someone taking ibuprofen for a headache because they should "tough it out." Or talking about how the common cold affects people "over there" and not your group.  It's nonsense. Yet, when it comes to talking about mental health, people start that same nonsense as if they have never had a day where they struggle with anxiety or need to take a break from the stress of day-to-day life.  I think it's time we started looking at mental health the way Dr. Lee describes it. We all have mental health issues of some form or another, just like we all have different physica ..read more

We did all of those things in the 24-72 hours before the storm. The storm should make landfall sometime tomorrow. We've got our water stock, will get some ice, and have everything on chargers, batteries, and flashlights ready. Our cars are full of gas, cash on hand, and ice is getting picked up now.  If/when the power goes out tomorrow, we've got the necessities and a pretty good idea of where we will head on Thursday if it appears we'll be without power for a few days.  Similarly, we don't wait until someone is in a mental health crisis to figure out how to keep them alive. Plan. K ..read more

You could argue that the outcome will be a large number of people with mental health issues crammed into a massively overburdened prison system with almost no hope of ever getting out. (Where would they go? Back to being homeless and thus getting arrested again.)  We've tried that with serious mental illness, and it doesn't work. It fixes nothing unless you think lots of people with mental health issues dying in prison is the answer. I prefer that most of us are not that callous and uncaring. But most of us aren't writing these laws and upholding them. That's for the elite few with power ..read more

That's why when people approach me with ideas for how to prevent childhood sexual abuse, the only two things I focus on are education and honesty. I didn't even know I was being abused because I lacked any education, and I didn't talk to anyone because there were no safe adults for me to talk to.  If you want to prevent abuse, do those things. Talk to kids about sex, abuse, rape, violence, and LGBTQ issues. Please give them the vocabulary to talk about what is happening to them, to define what is right and wrong, and a place to get their questions answered honestly, get good information ..read more

Listen to both episodes. You'll be challenged to think about youth mental health in a much broader sense. Hopefully, you will also see that these are not easy questions to answer and that existing in the world and planning for a future right now is hard. It's no wonder that young people are struggling. It's time we start taking serious steps toward making it less challenging for everyone and quit looking for a silver bullet that'll fix it. The post Recommending Some Podcast Episodes on the Mental Health of Young People appeared first on Child Abuse Survivor ..read more

We are survivors because we are still here. We are victims because someone harmed us while committing a crime. There's no reason to complicate those terms and there's no reason any of us who experienced abuse can't be both.  The post Victim, Survivor, or Both? appeared first on Child Abuse Survivor ..read more

Most of the time, we don't know what people are dealing with, but even when we do know, they may react to trauma and stress in ways that don't make sense to us. That's life. That's being human; being mature means accepting and being comfortable with it - not trying to fill in all the blanks yourself. The post Quick Thought #22 – Kate Middleton and Filling in the Blanks appeared first on Child Abuse Survivor ..read more