Do you feel like something is missing in your life, or that it is difficult for you to find your place in the world, or that you are carrying a burden that seems too heavy to be just yours? From the lens of Family Constellations, taking your rightful place in your family of origin allows you to find your place in the world. Perhaps one of the most significant dynamics I see in my work is that many people are not in their place because they are unconsciously taking someone else’s place. Examples of this are taking the place of a parent (parentification) or grandparent or an excluded ancestor or ..read more

Who is the person most excluded in families? It is the father. According to Bert Hellinger, mothers have a tendency to pull their children in towards them, distancing them from their father, which also distances them from the world and therefore from life. In order to become independent from the symbiotic bond with our mother, we need our father. He is the first contact with the masculine energy and as sons or daughters, we need to take in our father in order to have the strength to take our place in the world, and with people that come into our lives. Taking our father into our heart, embraci ..read more

What is vanishing twin syndrome? The term vanishing twin is used when one of the fetuses in a multigestation pregnancy dies in utero and is either miscarried, reabsorbed into the uterine lining of the mother or into the living twin. It is as if nature sacrifices one so that the other can survive. It is estimated that 10 – 15% of pregnancies have a vanished twin and nowadays that rate is higher due to increase in fertility treatments, such as IVF. However, because the loss of the twin can occur before the first ultrasound, parents and doctors might never consciously know that this happened. The ..read more

The couple relationship gives us the opportunity of experiencing love outside our blood ties and can be one of the greatest sources of joy or of pain in our lives. When we begin a relationship with someone, we do not realize that energetically our family system comes with us and that there is a resonance between our partner’s system and ours. It is as if our family system is seeking to see something, integrate, compensate or reconcile something through our partner. There are some universal, archaic laws that Bert Hellinger called the Orders of Love that are unconsciously operating in family sy ..read more

Even though siblings come from the same family system, they develop different personalities, have different destinies, and sometimes find it hard to get along. There is a subconscious, indissoluble bond that connects siblings and lasts forever, regardless of what your relationship with them is like, even if you are not on speaking terms or have never met some of them. The relationship with our siblings sets a blueprint for other peer relationships in life, such as life partners, friends and colleagues and whatever is unresolved with our siblings will likely be projected onto those relationship ..read more

What does it mean to “take our parents” and why is it important? In Family Constellations we use this term to mean an inner embracing, a deep integration of our parents within us, just as they are and were. This taking goes beyond “accepting” our parents, which is a mental attitude that actually makes us feel superior to those we accept. Since life flowed through our parents and onto us, when we succeed in this healing movement, we become aligned with life itself. For some people taking their parents is easy to imagine and for others this may seem like an impossible task. After all, some peopl ..read more

Who can give you the strength to materialize your goals in life? Your father. When you think of your father, you may notice that certain feelings or sensations arise within you. Take a moment to tune into them, and see if they are similar to the sensations that come up for you when you need to assert yourself in the world, for example when you need to set boundaries or stand your ground. Bert Hellinger observed that the person most excluded in families is the father. After your mother, the most important bond for your wellbeing is with your father. When, at the soul level, we are missing our f ..read more

Who can open the portal that leads to abundance? Your mother. When we reject our mother, it is as if we were also rejecting abundance in our lives. That is why healing the mother wound is important to attract abundance into your life. At the soul level, the energy of a mother is felt similarly to the energies of money, abundance, relationships, country of origin, success, health and even of life itself. Think of when you were first conceived as your first success and the first months of your life, when you were in your mother’s womb and she would provide everything you needed to live and you w ..read more

Do you have a vocation, a line of work that you are passionate about? Is there a difference between vocation vs profession? I think of a vocation as a calling to do something where you can use your natural abilities and put them in the service of others. We usually feel a sense of fulfillment when we follow this call and are able to use our unique talents in our profession. In Family Constellations we observe that there are certain universal laws called Orders of Love that, even though unconscious, are operating in families and other groups. Respecting these laws allows us to take in our ances ..read more

Are you unhappy at work? Did you know that issues around your work and profession can be related to your family system? If you do not love what you do and it feels like a struggle, or you do not feel you are being remunerated fairly, or perhaps you feel like you are in a “toxic environment”, or are experiencing conflicts with bosses or colleagues or generally dread going to work, you may be living out an unconscious loyalty that is preventing you from thriving in your professional life. Check to see if any these resonate with you: Parent’s or ancestor’s (unfulfilled) desire – If your pro ..read more