Me trying to show my age but also using the vignette feature to try and make the photo look cool and not just like I'm trying to show my age :D   Ever since I was a little girl I've enjoyed the feeling of picturing myself as an older woman.    More specifically, I'd imagine myself as a wise older woman with a smile, an approachable kindness, and a life alone in the woods. I would push myself in that direction. No rush, of course. I like enjoying all the states I'm in while I'm in them. But I would imagine my older self with a happy anticipation.    ..read more

  My mom Everyone is born equal and deserving of respect, celebration, and love. That is true.    But, it is also true, some people stand out and are wholly uniquely worthy of particular attention.    My mom is one of those people.   Her brain works differently and always has. As a little girl synesthesia caused her to say and do things that had an angering affect on many around her. Her innate ability to see unfairness - particularly where misfits and outliers were concerned - and to INSIST on change was not universally welcomed or recognized. A ..read more

  My slippers on the stairs at our front door. Slowly I slip my naked foot into the soft comfort of these slippers. My skin is embraced and caressed, my sole cushioned. Sometimes I will start with my right foot, sometimes my left, but always I offer the pleasure of these slippers equally.    I don't always choose the slow embrace of this soft home for my feet. Sometime I jump into them with speed and vigor. We hop our way into those cushion-y cuddles of a slipper. We bounce noisily throughout the house - up and down the stairs, dancing in my dance room (no more co ..read more

  My boys (circa a lot of years ago) My four boys are now men.    I care so much about them.   When they were small every single choice I consciously made worked its way through the "how do I think this will affect them" filter.    Back then it was intense. I did not see myself as separate from them. Instead, we were a unit. A unit of individuals with the right and necessity of discovering and becoming a healthy version of our natural selves. But, still - a unit.    When my sons were small, I did not feel like we were poor. We ha ..read more

  Family portrait   “Parenting was my goal, ever since I can remember. I have learned more from teaching my children than I could have ever learned from chasing a dream with fewer people to care for. I am greedy. And so I filled my world with a lot of people to love.” ~Lynette Louise, aka "The Brain Broad"   aka my mom.    She really did fill her world with a lot of people to love.    I can confirm this statement of hers.    As one of her children I was not only a witness to mom's active inclusion of people to love, I was not only one o ..read more

A camera sitting on the floor Warning: This post is about me and how I feel and how I think and what I notice.... oh, what's that? You already knew that? You have been here before and recognize a pattern? Yes, I see. Well, thank you? tee hee! Confession: I am kinda bothered by the amount of plastic surgery, laser hair removal, fancy serums and other similar things that have become fairly commonplace. In part I am bothered simply because I'm inclined to advocate for less manipulation of what is natural. I recognize in these procedures and items a desire to sculpt and bend and shave ..read more

  My son walking with his cousin "A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving." ~Lao Tzu   Parenting is a journey you cannot fully plan, and if you try to stick religiously to a plan, you put yourself and your child(ren) in harms way. It is dangerous to watch the plan more than the people.    Of course, goals and plans and places you are heading are a valuable part of the parenting journey. Without them we are at risk of simply wandering the path of least resistance regardless of how unhealthy it might be, or for people with an "it must b ..read more

  Book: Maid: Hard Work, Low Pay, And A Mother's Will To Survive Genre: Memoir Author: Stephanie Land Pages:270  Reviewed by : Me! (Tsara)   me reading the book my daughter-in-law lent me She was using birth control but it didn’t work. When Stephanie Land discovers she is pregnant not long after her 28th birthday, she finds herself in an all too familiar place. One where she has to make choices that will drastically decide the direction of her life. Hers, and if she chooses, her child’s. Some of the choices she makes are thus: have the child, tell the father, become a ..read more

  One of my granddaughters sweeping     Our kids do learn from our example. I know they do. But....    Working hard while they watch doesn't mean they're learning to work hard. Reading great literature while they climb all over us on the couch doesn't mean they're learning the value of great reading. Maintaining a comfortably clean environment in their presence doesn't mean they are learning to do the same.    Our example is more than what we do while our children watch.   It is also how we include them in what we're doing, it is how we ..read more

  My mom w/one of her grandchildren   I was terrifically shy as a little girl.    I was considered quiet and polite by adults, for the most part. Being shy often means being quiet and polite. Being polite does require an amount of social effort, challenging for a shy person, but it is less effort than dealing with the attention of not having been polite.    As with many things I didn't like about myself as a girl, I would often blame my mom. My hairy arms? Her fault, clearly. I mean, who has a baby with a hairy man when they clearly know that will ..read more