People pleasing is a survival strategy that many of us started doing when we were children. We’re not bad or wrong for creating it, in fact, we’re pretty damn smart, in a sense we needed to, it’s how we got our needs met for love, acceptance and safety. Some of the reasons why we have and why we may continue to people please as adults is; We may be sensitive and we don’t want to hurt others. We may want to avoid conflict and feeling bad. We may depend on other people’s approval and/or doing for others in order to feel valuable and worthy. We may fear that we won’t be liked if we don’t do or s ..read more

Is the pain of the past keeping you from living freely, loving openly and enjoying your life journey? Are you someone who’s read all the self help books, gone years to talk therapy but nothing seems to be changing? If this is you, I get it, that was me too and I started to believe that there was something wrong with me because I just couldn’t feel at peace and I didn’t know how to be. I tried to keep busy so I wouldn’t feel my pain, but my life and my relationships mirrored it back to me. I couldn’t escape it or myself no matter how hard I tried and I always felt horrible about myself and lif ..read more

Do you struggle with an eating disorder(s); whether it be anorexia, bulimia, over eating, or even compulsive exercise? I struggled with all the above, when I was a child I constantly ate to cope with being screamed at and to soothe my loneliness and uncomfortable feelings + I was teased for being fat and ugly, then, at age 13 my doctor told me to go on a diet and at age 15 I became a full blown anorexic. For the next 23 years of my life I was in and out of hospitals and treatment centers and going to therapy and nothing was working, they told me I was acute and I was going to die, ha proved em ..read more

Do you ever wonder what creates anxiety and why so many people are anxious?   Anxiety doesn’t just come from a thought we’re thinking, it comes from inside our body—from our internal patterning, where unresolved trauma, deep shame, and painful experiences are still “running.”  It’s a “trance” that we fall into when we’re in certain situations with certain people. It often comes from false underlying beliefs that say, “Something’s wrong with me, I’m flawed, I’m bad, I’m wrong, I don’t belong.”  Anxiety can be highly misunderstood because it’s not just a symptom, it often stems f ..read more

Did you know that the root cause of suffering for many human beings is believing that something’s wrong with you and me? Psychiatrists and therapists offices are filled with people who are carrying this “false belief” most often stemming from childhood experiences like trauma, hurt and pain, doctors labeling us with depression or anxiety or even people telling us this directly. Sometimes we “inferred” this idea because of the ways we were treated and/or we didn’t get our physical or emotional needs met when we were children. Perhaps we were called selfish or bad because we “asked for too much ..read more

Have you ever decided to try something new like getting into a new relationship or doing something that would help you experience success in your career/mission or offer you more vibrant health and well-being and you were able to follow through for a bit, but then you stopped? Was this self-sabotage? Was it procrastination? Did you know that self-sabotage and procrastination can be survival mechanisms and they’re actually our friends? They’re meeting some type of need, and it happens to all of us to a certain degree. Every behavior we do serves us in one way or another. We self-sabotage and p ..read more

We all have that critical and judgmental voice who tells us that we’re not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, etc. It criticizes, judges and tells us we don’t do anything right. It calls us stupid, it compares us to other people, it speaks harshly to us about ourselves and about our bodies. It tells us all the things we did or said “wrong” after communicating or connecting with someone. If there’s chronic judging/criticizing that part thinks that if it judges us it will “keep you us in check” and be the person we “need to be” in a sense it uses criticism to help us be accepted + safe i ..read more

Have you ever heard the expression “arrested development?” Have you ever wondered why many of us, during our adolescence start to experience a “major challenge?” This is when we start smoking, drinking alcohol, doing drugs, experience eating disorders, self harming and/or experiencing things like depression and anxiety. Why is this? It’s a time where we’re trying to “differentiate” it’s a time where we’re trying to “find ourselves” and if we have families that don’t allow this, we experience an “internal fit.” Why? Our families try to keep us molded and shaped into the “family’s ways.” We’re ..read more

I’m finally beginning to understand more and more about why people are afraid to feel and/or express their “negative” or even sad or angry feelings, it’s because they don’t feel safe and/or social consequences are “at stake.” If we’ve had traumatic experiences along the way, then those traumatic experiences are most likely “attached” to our “negative” feelings; this is going on subconsciously; it’s the law of “association.” We may feel shame; bad or wrong for having them, so we’ll do anything to push them away, so we can “be good” today. But by doing so we create fragmentation and inner confli ..read more

Anxiety is a response that comes from our nervous system; telling ourselves to just calm down just makes it worse and judgment often occurs. Sure, we can do deep breathing to help our bodies come back into harmony, but until we understand what’s creating the anxiety and bring compassion, LOVE and a new understanding to that part of you and me, “it” will just pop it’s head again, the next time we’re in a similar situation. Have you ever said to yourself “okay, I’m not gonna be anxious today?” And then you go into that situation and your heart starts racing and your body starts shakin? What is i ..read more