Memories of the season… I remember growing up and looking forward to the holidays. The Christmas holiday was a banger! We always would be vehicled home for the season. I remember the drive down to Anambra state. I remember that my dad was called, “Onye ije anyasi” (The one who journeys at night). I remember that whatever story you told my father of the happenings at night, won’t make the next trip one to be embarked on before sunset. Finally, I remember an experience we had and how Dady told his version of this story to Mama Ogbunike- Dady’s version portrayed him as the James Bond of the night ..read more

From the stable of the parent of a teen “You know, when you saw me late last night on the laptop, I was chatting with John (fictitious name)” said my soon-to-be fourteen-year-old. She was just about nine weeks in her new school, and I was barely coming off the fevers that take over the body of a mother who is two days into weaning her baby- tough one. In her case, I’d been with her in the same school environment for thirteen whole years of our lives. Thoughts of how she’d cope without family around like it used to be, what new friends she’d be making, new behaviours she’d be taking on, who sh ..read more

“It’s the fact that presently, I feel choked”, Cynthia said during one of her Parent Coaching sessions. “I can’t seem to function at home without getting irritated and yelling. I am scared for the relationship I share with my child. She seems to be becoming distant” she continued. “She wants to speak with me about a thing, but I see her struggle to find out what my mood is like. I feel this guilt. Like I’m I’m I’m ….” Then the uncontrollable tears start to flow. In moments as these, I allow my client let it all out, while holding space for them – “I’m here, Ma’am. I’m listening. I’d be here ..read more

“Daisy, is it ok for a man to cry?” said a man who felt the emotion, sadness very intensely. Emotions influence the way humans live and interact with others. They are our bodies’ response to the environment. We feel emotions. Feelings stem from emotions. They are what our bodies sense when an emotion is triggered. Hence the popular statement, “Emotions are felt in the body”. According to Paul Ekman, there are 6 primary emotions: Happiness, Joy, Sadness, Anger, Disgust, and Surprise. All the other emotions- anxiety, contentment, satisfaction, hostility, etc. stem from these basic ones either in ..read more

At such a time as this when the world suffers a lot of chaos, the challenges faced by parents in their chosen parenting styles have become evident. This evidence masked in the arrogance of ‘You can’t tell me how to raise my child’ has brought about adults who display low self-esteem, depression, frustration, mental ill-health, forceful and very violent behaviours. For a long time, parenting has been on the basis of learning-as-you-go, but with the inception of the internet, there has been enough information to guide on how to raise a wholesome child. With the bulk of the information available ..read more

So it’s been a hectic end of year and I got me into the thinking mode as I sorted out content for the Self Discovery podcast to be launched in two weeks. One ‘Why’ that keeps rushing back – the sentence that has to do with the reason for becoming a parent. This question got all the more engraved as I sat in a congregation listening to power words come off an angle of the auditorium I seemed to be sitting in more frequently.  “Who among you chose your parents?” was a question following a point she tried to make. It was a tough session afterwards as my mind began to joggle between the aspec ..read more

Parenting can be a super emotional experience. There are days when the emotion tides seem low and other days when they’re high. Our duty as adults is to ensure that we create a balance especially because the child’s development is highly dependent on our ability to handle such times. A number of behaviours can warrant our often negative response patterns to such tides – Behaviours as those of the spouse, domestic helps and then the children. Situations such as financial struggles, lack of time, disorganized home structure, health challenges, etc can evoke hard behaviours from us. Learning to h ..read more

I was raised in a Christian home. At an early age, I was taught that every human was created to solve a problem on earth. I was told I needed to find out what this problem was and resume seeking solutions to it. It was difficult finding the right answers. Everybody had a way of passing on the “Search within” message. I searched within but couldn’t find. Time flew by and the storms of life bellowed. Then in one night amidst the storm, I decided to fully get engaged in the Self Discovery process. Prior to this night, I was that young girl who sought attention and approval from the many people I ..read more

Homework – A concept that has been heard of over the years. Referring to the schoolwork given to a learner to be completed at home. With the challenges facing parents today as regards time management, Homework assistance has become a debatable topic with some ‘for’ and others ‘against’. While the proponents advocate for homework to be given, the others mention one of the downsides as “depriving the family of adequate time to bond”. Having conducted research on this aspect of learning, Cathy Vatterott in her book titled, Rethinking Homework, had the following points to note: Homework should be ..read more

Over the years, family life has evolved. There were the years of living in rural areas which saw family farming, each family producing its own food. Mothers cooked and cared for the home while fathers took charge of the farm and provided for the home. Then came the days of urban migration. Migrants would come home looking all nicely dressed and fatter than they left their rural homes. Indicating healthy and better living in urban areas. Of course, succeeding in luring other members of neighboring families. Soon there was a representative of each family in the urban area also coming back to tel ..read more