Modern audiences are fascinated by an origin story.  Be it the reason for Darth Vader’s overall sulkiness with the universe twined with his apparent bronchial issues, or Peter Parker being bitten by a radioactive spider and rather than reaching for the Benadryl, going to bed & seeing how he feels in the morning… People love to know how it all began. I will now regale you with a real-life origin story of a cultural icon. Centuries ago, located in the forests of the Ethiopian plateau, a loan goat herder named Kaldi eyed over his collection of bearded chums. He noticed them munching down ..read more

                                                                        Hollywood dictates that the only way to arrive in New York is via either the Brooklyn or Queensboro bridge in the back of a yellow taxi with your head hanging out of the win ..read more

Christopher Columbus is known for discovering America. He didn’t mean to. He was, in fact, doing the very blokey thing of looking for a short cut to get somewhere else. In his case, India. “I can’t be doing with all this ‘going East’ business to pick up a pot of Cayenne pepper. I’m going West instead” “Are you sure Chris? Everybody else is going East.” “Nah, trust me. It’s miles quicker!” Five weeks later, he stumbled upon the Bahamas. He then did the equally blokey thing of trying to convince everybody present that this was his intention all along. “This isn’t India Chris?” “Nah I know, I did ..read more

Something momentous has happened! ‘You Know It Makes Sense!’ has been placed in the top 100 humour blogs by ‘Feedspot’, the largest human curated database of bloggers and podcasts. Now, this may not seem momentous to you, but to me it’s HUGE! I have always loved a top 100. They are a staple of popular culture. Put a chart down in print on any subject or persona and it will motivate opinions and debates. Two guys having a beer, arguing over whether Stanley Matthews should be higher than George Weah in the top 100 all time football players. Girls sat on the bus salivating over whichever curly ha ..read more

Surfing is cool. As far as sports go, you’ll be hard pushed to find a cooler recreational activity. I am not cool. You may have gathered that by the way I described surfing as a ‘recreational activity’. That is not how surfers speak. They have a completely comprehensive language that, even after a year and a half of living in the key surf destination of Sydney, I still haven’t mastered. Along with struggling with the lingo, crucially, I am having trouble getting to grips with the pursuit itself. The idea is you paddle out to open water, wait for a suitable wave, ‘catch’ said wave, jump up on t ..read more

Walt Disney sold the idea that having animal housemates would bring joy and delight to any human’s otherwise monotonous life. Cinderella had a dress knocked up by an array of talented rodents. Snow White was ably assisted in the housework by a team made up of birds and squirrels. Miss White seemed untroubled by the obvious hygiene implications of a plate being wiped by a squirrel’s tail. I guess if you have had a long day, you’re just glad of the help. (Even if the help’s cleaning implement is dangerously close to his backside and leave fleas on your crockery.) With such a supportive collectio ..read more

                                                         One of the weirdest experiences you can have as a kid, is seeing your teacher outside of school. You could be playing with your mates, walking around the supermarket with your mum, throwing stones at cans or whatever non-curricular business would be filling your evening or ..read more

For many members of the drizzly United Kingdom, one of the prominent attractions of upping sticks and moving to Australia, is the promise of an outdoor lifestyle. The country does indeed have the advantage of offering the prime necessity for al fresco fun, in the form of consistent warm and, most importantly, dry weather.  This is more than a strong draw for those forced to sit indoors wearing warm socks, sipping an even warmer beverage, while watching “The Antiques Roadshow”.  In June. (I appreciate there are individuals who would relish the above setting, classifying it as, “cosy ..read more

“Two cheeseburgers and… a cappuccino!?” Mrs B repeated my order back to me with a furrowed brow. “Yes please.” I politely replied. “You’re going to wash down two cheeseburgers with… a cappuccino?” “Yes PLEASE!” I again replied, this time less politely. I always get slightly anxious ordering at a drive through being aware that there is probably someone waiting impatiently behind me who knows exactly what they want to order, and will not have a significant other sat next to them questioning their selection. “Weird…” she muttered under her breath, before relaying my order to the little speaker bo ..read more

At some point in the late 1980’s, that sharp featured, handsome songsmith Gordon Sumner, (AKA Sting), had one of his many flurries of inspiration and decided to write the classic ditty ‘Englishman in New York’. An ode to being yourself no matter where you are or the company you are in. I am listening to it as I write, and find it more relatable now than at any point in it’s thirty odd years of existence. You see, I am an actual legal alien. At this point the similarities deviate, as I’m not an Englishman in New York. I’m an Englishman in Sydney, Australia. But I AM a LEGAL alien. I can prove ..read more