We’ve written a lot about how to have healthier arguments that you can grow from. This post is different because we’ll share 2 unconventional ways to respectfully diffuse arguments. Start by watching the super short video below, then come back to this blogpost to understand WHY it works. @relationshipzen diffuse, don't deflect ? #relationshipconflicts #couplesconflict #relationshipgoals #relationshipcoach #marriagetips #learnontiktok ♬ Elf - Main Theme - Geek Music So why does skillfully complimenting (read: acknowledging and recognizing) your partner work to diffuse arguments? Because offer ..read more

Lindsey kissing David in front of a Christmas Tree This holiday season, if you're planning on getting your partner a gift, consider your partner's love language. Need some help getting started? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered ? ? Acts of service Treat them to something special where they can sit back, relax and enjoy. Maybe it's a home cooked meal + clean home. ? Quality time Plan a date where you can spend time doing something together that actually sparks joy for both of you. Maybe that's a scavenger hunt in a little town, or a visit to the local skating rink followed by your favourite ..read more

A picture of us having fun in a dance club in 2010 It wasn't until Tuesday night this week, while we were reflecting on our day in our journal, that we realized the next day would be our 11 year dating anniversary. WOW! Since it crept up on us we asked our community for ideas on how to celebrate in a last minute and spontaneous fashion. One of the suggestions was to reflect on the most valuable lessons our relationship has taught us for each year we’ve been together. In the spirit of service and to encourage you to build a thriving and conscious relationship that inspires you and lifts you hi ..read more

The years 2020 and 2021 may go down in history as the global pandemic, but it’ll also be remembered as time of social awakening in North America around issues of equity, diversity, inclusion and Indigeneity. From displays of fear-based nationalism, to overt and violent racism, to the exposure of systemic inequities on so many levels, this time period exposed a lot that we need to address within our societies. While there’s a long way to go, we’ve seen progress and social justice activism too! We’re sure that these socio-political issues have made their way into your homes (as they should), at ..read more

Isn't it hard to believe that it's almost been a year since lockdown measures? Our city's still in lockdown. At this time last year we remember (well, Apple and Google photos reminded us), that it was the last time we went out for a fun night downtown. It was a few days before our neighbourhood grocery stores were hit by panicked buying (toilet paper and more). It was a few days before people we knew or knew of would get COVID-19 (thinking of those who’ve lost their lives and all those who provided care, support, and kept our economy going). It was a few days before couples and families w ..read more

“Disasters generally operate as an accelerator in a relationship.” — Esther Perel Since lockdown started, have you had more ups in your relationship or more downs? The pandemic has been difficult for so many relationships and difficulty is absolutely expected! Relationship nerds have reached out to us and told us that boundaries at all levels have been blurred, anxiety and stress is high, and work/family/life dynamics have changed in a matter of days, and not just in the short-term. Mismanaging this transition can increase fighting, stagnation, and drifting and reduce teamwork, intimacy, and ..read more

“The quality of your life ultimately depends on the quality of your relationships.” — Esther Perel We both had limiting beliefs when we first started dating each other. These beliefs held us and our relationship back. Lindsey thought that in order to be happy in a relationship, she had to sacrifice her own wants and needs to make the other person happy. David on the other hand thought of each relationship as a temporary gift because he didn’t see any intimate relationship as a long-term commitment. Put those things together and oh dear… We had our share of issues. That’s why we made a pact in ..read more

Couples who make time to talk about the relationship itself, in a conscious way, are more likely to co-create a thriving and successful relationship. Read that again. Most ordinary couples talk, but do they talk about the relationship itself? And, do they talk about the relationship as a regular practice? Or, do they talk about the relationship only when things are problematic? That would be like working on a team or project and never getting status updates, having performance conversations, or checking-in except when things are going poorly. “Daily Dialogue is an intentional effort to talk ..read more

Do you tend to avoid conflict with your partner at all costs? And does it tend to get worse or make you feel uneasy? Full disclosure. David used to be that guy. At work, he was comfortable with conflict. At home, different story. It’s better to (consciously) address conflict in your relationship In the long run, avoiding topics of disagreement - or pretending like you're ‘cool with it’ when you're not actually feeling good about a situation - can create miscommunication, resentment and disappointment. Instead, switch to more courageous communication. It's not easy, but you can do it with thes ..read more

You may already know about the power of gratitude in life and relationships, but what about gratitude 2.0? When we express gratitude 1.0 to our partner, it makes them feel good and makes us feel good. When we express gratitude 2.0 to our partner, it does all that and makes the relationship better overall. Doesn’t that sound like something we could all use these days? Let us tell you what we mean. Let’s get warmed up... Try Gratitude 1.0 In gratitude 1.0, your goal is to express sincere appreciation for a specific thing your partner did or didn’t do. Use this template to start off your practic ..read more