Savannah: A Crappy Poem
ComposeMD
by Amol Shrikhande
16h ago
Savannah, the one in Georgia I always have to check if there’s an h It was a pleasure to get to know ya Because run of the mill, that you ain’t   I used to think you were on the ocean But it turns out you’re on a river I mean, it wasn’t the craziest notion As your massive port is where sh*t gets delivered   Anyway, you were established in 1733 Which means that a little bit of math Makes you older than the entire country That age puts you off the beaten path   Well, at this point you’re no longer off Tourists like me, they come in droves You make believers of those who scoff To b ..read more
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Florida: I Finally Get You
ComposeMD
by Amol Shrikhande
16h ago
Dear Florida,   I’ve never wanted to like you. And admirably, you’ve made that goal rather easy. To me, you’ve been the state of flatness, concealed carry permits, secessionism, low-income work, and oppressive heat. You’ve attracted millions of transplants with that work—made somewhat more palatable by the lack of state income tax—and that heat, which apparently ameliorates the pangs of arthritis. You’ve built fake cities, otherwise known as theme parks, overcharging for the right to melt in line and eat suboptimal fried chicken. Your legislation reeks of anti-intellectualism, though you ..read more
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The Bible in Public Schools: 5 Great Alternatives
ComposeMD
by Amol Shrikhande
1w ago
I don’t live in Oklahoma, but I have heard that the state superintendent who mandated that public schools teach the Bible is open to book suggestions. As a parent of at least mediocre standing, I consider myself an authority on the matter. Here are five alternatives to the Bible in public schools, all of which will contribute to a better America.   Where Is Walt Disney World? by Joan Holub     There are very few books that teach our American children how to properly embrace obesity, accrue credit card debt to visit a fake city, or buy T-shirts with mice on them. This masterpiec ..read more
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The Week I Got the Last Laugh
ComposeMD
by Amol Shrikhande
1w ago
I say last laugh. But I have a feeling it’s the first of many. You see, it wasn’t easy choosing to live somewhere that was on death’s door. At least that’s what I had been led to believe, mostly by people who had never stepped foot in the place. Thankfully, ignoring others comes naturally. (My wife will tell you I’m an expert.) It was 2009, and the internet was fully functional. I had access to blogs, chat sites, and wikis, and they were painting a different picture. Yes, there was the one that everyone was trying to force me to see. But I kept seeing something else. For a while, I was almost ..read more
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Country Music Vocabulary for Teetotalers
ComposeMD
by Amol Shrikhande
1w ago
Country music has a healthy (unhealthy?) relationship with alcohol. References abound, and moderation is optional. To get the most out of the listening experience, here is the country music vocabulary you have to know. I’ve provided examples to complement the learning.   Tennessee Whiskey Tennessee whiskey is quite similar to bourbon—an American whiskey with at least 51% corn in the mash bill—but it generally must be distilled in Tennessee and undergo the Lincoln County Process, i.e. pass through a charcoal filter prior to barreling. The last part is supposed to result in a smoother produ ..read more
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Diversity and Inclusivity: Less Talk, More Action
ComposeMD
by Amol Shrikhande
2w ago
Diversity and inclusivity. On June 23, 2024, I was schooled in it. *** It was partly sunny, comfortable, and windy as hell. In Upstate New York, that still counts as nice. We sat in a lesser-known creation of one of the greatest landscape architects of all time—Frederick Law Olmsted. Central Park in New York City is his best-known work, but Genesee Valley Park holds its own. Where the Erie Canal crosses the Genesee River, the latter on its northward path toward Lake Ontario, Olmsted had laid down one of his classically egalitarian works, one where all walks of life could gather and appreciate ..read more
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10 Tips for the Perfect Dad Bod
ComposeMD
by Amol Shrikhande
3w ago
Dad bod. There’s no exact definition, but you know it when you see it—limited muscular definition up top and a healthy dose of flab in the middle. It turns out that as a man of many talents, I’ve perfected the look, and as a prominent influencer, I feel obligated to share these tips for success.   10 Try not to walk away from the table until you are truly full. Take a TUMS if you need to.   9 Also, remember that dinner is just a crude guideline. Make time before and after to nourish yourself.   8 Lay off the light beer. Stick to the higher-calorie craft stuff.   7 Don’t bel ..read more
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20 Haikus About Upstate New York
ComposeMD
by Amol Shrikhande
1M ago
Those who’ve followed this blog closely have suggested that it’s time for some larger projects, i.e. the types that are likely to gain more traction than a collection of random thoughts on random topics. Taking that advice into account, I opted to write haikus about Upstate New York.   1 With or without Trump Will you become great again? I really don’t know   2 Were you ever great? Because it’s hard to believe With this urban blight   3 New York City shines But you’re more than a nothing Just look at the milk   4 Your land is useful It’s a wonderful backdrop For the state p ..read more
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The Coolest Record Store in the World
ComposeMD
by Amol Shrikhande
1M ago
On June 8, 2024, I had no idea I was going to meet somebody famous. In retrospect, at that record store, I should have known better. It had been a spur of the moment decision. We had an hour to kill before dinner, and sitting around the house was getting old. So we made the quick drive north to Lake Ontario, hanging a left a couple miles before actually reaching the water. Greeting us was Irondequoit, New York, a suburb of Rochester. As far as middle America goes, Irondequoit is about as middle as it gets. The day was overcast—misty, in fact. Summer was supposedly around the corner, though sup ..read more
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How the Food Truck Saved the Hospital
ComposeMD
by Amol Shrikhande
1M ago
“Thank God for the food truck,” said the charge nurse to no one in particular. It hadn’t been a great morning at the no-name hospital in Upstate New York. They were short to begin with, and a nurse had called in sick. They were used to working with bad ratios, but today was even worse than usual. Everyone and their mother had decided to come to the ER. She knew not to bother calling her manager. He was a well-dressed guy, but his ideas were a bit wonky. His answer had always been to just shorten treatments. She knew better though—he had never worked in the industry. A few shortened treatments ..read more
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