February of 2024! It has been a LONG time since I last wrote! I thought about writing several times. I was so lost in grief I really needed to take some time to heal and find myself again. I was trapped in a vicious cycle of mental anguish on top of a back injury (I stepped hip deep into a badger hole), and have been battling the effects of long covid. I realized it is okay to grieve, it’s okay to be sad and cry. Sometimes you have to let that pain out so it doesn’t fester and consume you like a neglected wound. I also have learned to accept some pain doesn’t just go away, but you can live wit ..read more

It’s been about a year since I last wrote. I have several drafts where I really wanted to, I lost my way. As a family we’ve had our challenges and our share of painful loss, but these last two years have shaken my foundation to the depths of my soul. Where do you go, what do you do when your hero dies? Losing my brother Rob August 31, 2021 has left me utterly lost. Fall has long been my favorite time of the year. Everything about it! I love the fresh crisp change in the air, the ever morphing art within the trees from brilliant reds, oranges, and yellows until the leaves cascade to become a fa ..read more

I’ve wanted to write these last weeks, but to say I’ve been in a state of depression would probably be an understatement. I wonder if losing a sibling is comparable to losing an appendage. Sometimes you feel them there like a phantom limb then realize they’re still gone. For the topper on the cake so to speak, Brooks and I ended up with Covid right after Robbie’s services. Feeling sad and being stuck in quarantine worried our son would get it too was rough. Pride camped a fair amount. When we were in the same room we would mask up and we tried to sanitize everything we touched as much as possi ..read more

I was walking our puppies today just reflecting. Rob is a constant presence on my mind. This made me think about how the little things in life that are the most precious. The first deliciously bitter sip of coffee in the morning, a cool breeze caressing your cheeks, that warm hug that makes you feel like all the troubles of the world melt away. I think that last one is the most extraordinary of all. I’ve been thinking about that since last week when our brother was first put on the ventilator. Brooks and I went to check on our mom and sister. Kathy was still quarantined and all we could do was ..read more

As I write I feel like I have ash in my mouth and sand in all my limbs. I think I took the longest shower I’ve ever taken and just cried as though the clouds opened and showered the world with my tears and my pain. August 31, 2021 we had to say goodbye to Robert Miles O’Masters. We had been in constant communication with his Doctors, Nurses, and each other. We had been told his condition had only been worsening and scarring in his lungs was severe and irreparable, so either there would be the inevitable end or if my some miracle he would pull through his quality of life would be one tethered t ..read more

I write today full of emotion. Our daughter Logan just moved to Colorado with her boyfriend. I’m excited for her, it sounds like she found a great place to adventure around. This past year…almost two years has been tough. Especially on our youth just trying to figure things out. What do they want their future to be? What have they seen so far? Life experiences give you guidance. It’s pretty hard to find that when we are a world closed off from each other. As frustrating as that is, it’s something that will build character in us all. As things have opened up I think we all have a new appreciati ..read more

Although I enjoy any reason whatsoever to celebrate (and I mean any reason-“oh, a full moon! I’ll create a feast, lets celebrate!”), the new year is still another day. We typically put up the new calendar, flip to January and try to remember to jot down the right date. Well, this year does feel like it should be more. 2020 at times was a real ass kicker! We all lost! Whether it was a loved one (or many), an icon (local or famed), business opportunities…really the list could go on. At the end of last year we were working on healing from our own great losses. In November we brought home a puppy ..read more

Here we are in the doldrums of February and with them Brooks and I have been discussing mental health. Mental health is a taboo subject no matter how progressive we think we’ve become. Hopefully we can get to a point where we can express that maybe we’re having a tough day. When people suffer from depression simple tasks such as getting out of bed, or brushing one’s teeth can seem gargantuan. Sometimes they feel their insides are twisted in a knot by anxiety. Those with PTSD may feel haunted by their memories every time they close their eyes. Maybe then we can help each other. This is a subjec ..read more

I’ve neglected to write anything for an excessively long time. This year pairing a global pandemic and an election year I didn’t feel like I had anything spectacular or unique to add. I have however decided maybe I need the therapeutic journey of writing for my own mental health. I’d like to talk about how this year has not only effected our guide season but our family. As this year began we were a family with tons of changes on the horizon. I quit my job at our local vet clinic to work on Brooks’ fishing business. Logan had a boyfriend she was moving in with and Pride was getting ready to gra ..read more

What began as our family relocating from Montana to Alaska became so much more than we planned. Although we didn’t stay in Alaska, we came back home to Montana with a fresh perspective. It was a soul searching adventure that left us forever changed. I plan to continue my blog as I see fresh adventures on the horizon. Life is meant to be lived, sights are meant to be seen, only you can make things happen for you. Let’s do this thing! Create your own journey while I share mine with you ..read more