Oral for Her: The Kivin Method The Kivin method is more of a position than a technique. It is oral sex for her – sideways. This right angle can allow for increased sensations and highly pleasurable stimulation. Some describe experiencing involuntary, pre-orgasmic contractions and/or powerful orgasms with this position.  How it works:  Position:  The giver positions themselves perpendicular to the receiver’s vulva (T-shape) The receiver’s leg will be draped over the giver’s shoulder Try using pillows to make things comfortable Technique:  The giver uses their tongu ..read more

Three sex positions using props Lifted Missionary or Pillow Tilt Prop needed: pillow/pillows - multiple soft, one firm, or a sex pillow specifically designed as a wedge  How this works: The woman is laying on the bottom and the penetrating partner is on top. Place pillows under the woman’s buttocks in a way that lifts her hips. Experiment with height and angles that allow for the most pleasure. Variation: The partner on top is in a standing position at the side of the bed. The woman can place her legs on either side of her partner, on partner’s shoulders or wrapped around her partner’s w ..read more

Book review: Women’s Anatomy of Arousal by Sheri Winston CNM, RN, BSN, LMT If you have a desire to explore taking your pleasure to the next level, this book is for you. Women’s Anatomy of Arousal won the American Academy of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) Book of the Year in 2010. It’s been around a while and remains a steadfast favorite of many.  Winston’s writing is easy to understand, and she comes across like a more experienced, sensual, big sister. Packed with education on women’s anatomy and physiology, this practical guide includes sections for '‘Play and P ..read more

24 Conversation starters and questions to help you talk about sex with a partner Current Favorites 1. What do you most enjoy about our sex life right now? 2. What do I do that really turns you on? Let’s Do This More 3.  Are there things I can do to make sex more pleasurable, fun, or satisfying for you? 4. What are some of the reasons that motivate you to have sex. 5. Is there anything you would like more of during sex? Consistency & Variety 6. Do you enjoy having sex the same way with some consistency?  7. Do you ever wonder about adding more variety to our ..read more

Why I don’t want you to tell your kids that ‘One thing leads to another.’ Informed consent means yes to the one thing discussed and decided upon.  It is not an implicit agreement to do anything else or to take things further; for example, agreeing to or initiating making out with someone does not mean yes to anything else until consent is revisited.  Young people are often told that “one thing leads to another” when it comes to sex. Then they get into situations where that misguided mantra causes them to believe that if they gave consent for one thing, like oral sex, that means if th ..read more

Nakedness in the home At my parent workshops, one of the most frequently asked questions is “How should I handle nakedness?” Parents want to know what the age cut off is or when the appropriate time is to stop being naked around their child. We all have various feelings and past experiences with nakedness from our own childhoods. This can influence how we feel about it as adults with children of our own. This topic is a good one for parents to talk about early in their parenting. Every home will look a bit different. There isn’t one “right” age or time frame that works for “every” family. Keep ..read more

When kids ask questions When your child asks you questions about sexual health, you certainly want to give them an answer. Consider going a step further with them to determine the why behind the question, so that you are providing the right information at the right time. It can be helpful for you to understand the reasons behind why they are asking. One way to do this is by asking a follow up question such as, “What made you ask that question?” or “Good question! What have you heard about this?” Here are the 6 TOP reasons kids ask questions Information - This can be a simple straightforward in ..read more

Six good intentions for better sexual health in the new year Get to know your body and anatomy Gain more understanding of your sexuality Give yourself permission to try something new Get curious about eroticism and sensual play Gain more education about sex Give yourself permission to talk about sex   ..read more

Tips for intimacy with ADHD Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is characterized by hyperactivity, restlessness, impulsive actions, and trouble paying attention. These symptoms may be influencing your sex life. There is very little available research around this topic, but I have gathered some tips that may help you to stay more anchored and engaged to enjoy the sex and intimacy you’re having. Communicate with your partner. Be open about what you need, what helps you stay present and the things that make intimacy difficult for you. Honest dialogue will allow you and your partner ..read more

My child is starting sex ed at school. Send help! Ideally, sexual health conversations have already been happening in your home since your child was a toddler. If not, it is not too late. Take a deep breath, you have what it takes to talk to your child about sexual health topics. I am here to cheer you on. First, let me say that most school-based sex education is woefully inadequate and certainly not comprehensive. It isn’t even medically accurate in most states, nor required to be by law. Pleasure is rarely, if ever, a part of the discussion and certainly must be. I could go on and on. Theref ..read more