I’m 35 and have been with my wife for 16 years; we had ups and downs like any relationship. My wife was my first. I was her 21st; there were red flags when we first got together, a lot of gaslighting. I was lonely when we met and thought, this is how relationships are. In time she got better, with brief periods of worsening. Throughout life, I have been there when her family turned against her, even her kids and parents. In time I began to do introspection to work on myself, for myself, and in doing so, opened my eyes to the one-sided nature of our relationship. I have no friends where I live ..read more

GSD, from reading all of the posts, I realize that the problem with your wife is pretty common among many married people. I get the impression that you have reassured your wife that her weight gain is not an issue with you. If your wife is confident of her attractiveness in your eyes, I somehow don’t think that insecurities about her weight gain are the real problem. Perhaps, the real problem is that both of you are overworked and exhausted, more so than you. You mentioned working as a policeman. How many hours a day, on average, do you work? Police work can have a negative (off duty) effect o ..read more

I’m with you, brother. I’ve been there for over 20 years. What had been a regular, beautiful thing between us is long gone. I once waited for her to come to me; I waited two years. Nothing. I finally returned to begging, seducing, negotiating, demanding, and getting rejected 95% of the time. It’s humiliating, but she has zero need, and even at age 60, I still have needs. So I’m doing the only things I can: begging for sex and, on rare occasions, cheating. I can foresee the day I have to solicit. I wish I had a better answer for you, and I look forward to what the other respondents have to say ..read more

The same was my situation! I had the same thoughts as you two kids and ten years into my marriage, and by our 12th year, I divorced and moved on. In hindsight – I could have done a lot more to help my now ex-wife with housework etc., and taken time out to do little things with her as a friend and partner, such as sit and watch TV, go for walks, etc. However, at the same time, she never seemed to have any passion for me, which I was dying for in my life, and even at times, I did help appropriately around the house, etc., sex and desire never improved or even occurred. She spent her time looking ..read more

Have you sat her down and talked to her about this? If not, it’s time you did. If you have, share her answers with us ..read more

Hi Pete, I want to ask, how much effort do you put into making your wife feel contented and happy? Being a stay-at-home mom and housewife, looking after kids 24/7 is no easy task. It can be draining both mentally and physically. You sound like one of those guys who consider placing a roof over a wife’s head and being the breadwinner is enough, and your wife should be grateful for that. Have you ever asked your wife how she feels? You say; you feel you’re good to her, but are you sure your wife feels the same way? Definitely a lack of communication between you. Do you know that the main reason ..read more

I’m sorry for you. This was me five years ago. I did everything. I tried to fix this. Your wife has friend-zoned you. She no longer is sexually interested in you. That’s the sad truth. You can’t negotiate for her desire. She wants your comfort as a supporting friend. Google Rollo Tomassi and check out his writings. This is the sad reality many of us face when the fun marriage ends. I finally gave up, and we divorced. The wife moves on but still wants your friendship and calls that a marriage. Everyone is happier now—best of luck ..read more

I’ve been married for ten years, have two great kids, a good job, and am financially secure. My wife is a brilliant mother. She is a stay-at-home mom. I know she has stressful, busy, and tiring days. I love her so much, but she shows no physical interest in me. Our sex life is poor. She makes no effort. She shies away if I go to hug her and gets upset if I suggest sex. I feel I’m good to her. I look after her and treat her well. Yes, I could do more about the house, but I do try. We are currently building a house, and all she is interested in is looking through her phone at home improvements ..read more

Hi Tony, I`ll go with Midge on this one because it appears, according to your post, that your wife has lost interest in the home, not sharing any activities with you, switched herself off, and now concentrating her time on social media. This is not a good sign and a classic indicator that she could be cheating. I would have stayed calm, acted normal, and discretely started investigating her online activities if this were me. But considering this was happening over two years ago and no updates, I guess we’ll never know how this concluded ..read more

Hi Matthew, I’m sorry you have to live this. I’ll give you my perspective. In my case, I am the lazy one, and there’s no justification for this behavior. Recently I was diagnosed with a hormonal disorder that led to depression. This also makes you extraordinarily tired. Before going to the doctor, my husband and even I thought the same that I was lazy. Because I also lost my job and I thought I would change and be on top of everything. But I just really couldn’t. I felt guilty that my hubby was working and cleaning, even cooking; that’s why we decided to go for professional help with a therapi ..read more