Aging – The Quest to Make Gratitude My Mirror
Blessings of Chronic Illness
by The Blessings of Chronic Illness
2y ago
Looking around at the women I knew and saw – it seemed that aging took a stronger hold after 40. Bodies, faces, hair… I began to think that 40 was the magical age when I’d become “old.” 27 days after turning 40, I became so unbelievably sick. Life as I knew it… stopped. Dysautonomia is like a direct flight to living in an 80-year-old body. I’m working my way back to health (a term measured in feeling, not beauty). For me, health means moderate activity – nothing strenuous enough to give me a toned body. It means medications that increase my blood volume and my weight. It means that I fight fo ..read more
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The Truths of Where I Am
Blessings of Chronic Illness
by The Blessings of Chronic Illness
2y ago
I feel stronger and the gratitude I have for this is immeasurable. I am getting better about reading my body and learning my new limitations. My limitations are for my body, not my spirit. I need to rest several times throughout the day to be able to keep going. Once I get dressed, I rest. After working for a few hours, I rest. After I go to the store, I rest. When dinner is finished, I rest. Rest is my fuel and a complete necessity. When I don’t rest, I become weaker and weaker, extremely irritable, dizzy, and a little confused. Laying down for 15 to 30 minutes is like medicine for me. When ..read more
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Making space for my new life
Blessings of Chronic Illness
by The Blessings of Chronic Illness
2y ago
In this new season of life, coffee and wine have been moved to the do not consume list. While I’m okay with that, I still miss the idea of what they represented for me: company, friends, comfort, warmth… I think that’s why I’ve been reluctant to tuck away the coffee pot and wine rack. John doesn’t drink either, so they’ve just been taking up space. Plus, they’re a reminder of what I can’t have. I decided to shift from thinking about what I lost to thinking about what I could create. I love tea pots and have collected some great ones from estate sales. When John was still working from home, he ..read more
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The frienDship fern
Blessings of Chronic Illness
by The Blessings of Chronic Illness
2y ago
I’ve adored this fern for years. I’ve protected it from deer, replanted it as it grew, and sat in its shade as it hung from the porch eave.  Caring for it every morning was part of how I calmed myself. This winter, I was too sick to care for it during the freeze and it was on the brink of death. So, my neighbor fostered the fern until I was strong enough to care for it again.  She delivered it to my porch yesterday, having spent the past few months  nursing it back to health.  As I was admiring its new leaves, I thought… this fern is just like me. Not perfect, but str ..read more
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I didn’t know what was coming, but God did
Blessings of Chronic Illness
by The Blessings of Chronic Illness
2y ago
Five years ago, my life changed. Two of the people I loved the most passed away. My grandfather who helped raise me and my cousin who was only 39. She had five-month-old twins.  Trajedy like that brings clarity. I could see what really mattered and what I needed to change in my life. I was healthy then and the interesting thing is that all of the changes I made, ended up being amazing blessings when I became ill.  I had been working 60-hour weeks. The stress was high and I was missing so much time with my little girls. I resigned. I was going to take a year off but ended up ..read more
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One good thing
Blessings of Chronic Illness
by The Blessings of Chronic Illness
2y ago
Finding one good thing can make the world right again. Today, my good thing is very simple—cream of wheat. My stomach has been sick and my food choices, limited.  It’s been comforting to find one warm, soothing thing that I can eat. Would you believe that it’s become my equivalent for coffee and dessert? I’m grateful to have something to look forward to each morning. This sentiment reminds me of a story I heard… An old monk and a new monk were walking barefoot on a rocky path. The young monk said, “My feet ache.” The old monk replied, “Yes, but how wonderful does your foot feel when yo ..read more
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More than a walk
Blessings of Chronic Illness
by The Blessings of Chronic Illness
2y ago
I’ve been feeling a little down lately. I think that’s normal. The world is coming alive again and it emphasizes some of my limitations. I cherish the days when I’m healthy enough to walk through the creek behind our little house. There are so many spots to stop and rest. Usually when I slow down, I feel like I’m falling behind. Here, I feel like I’m catching up. I see that life is moving all around me and I’ve been afforded a lovely view. When we can’t move as fast, we seem to stay longer and watch more. It’s where we find ourselves and God. In some ways, being sick is helping me to catch my ..read more
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Creating a “new normal” that honors God
Blessings of Chronic Illness
by The Blessings of Chronic Illness
2y ago
As a people, we are not who we were pre-COVID-19. I am not who I was pre-dysautonomia diagnosis. I don’t think we would have gone through all of this to remain as we were. As we are re-emerging into new lives and routines, I think it’s worth reevaluating what living should look like. This has to be different for all of us. Honoring God now is different than what I thought it would be as a child. It’s not a Sunday thing, it has to be an every moment thing. Here are some of the things I’ll be working on to live more deliberately: Boundaries I’ve always worried about what other people think o ..read more
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Relearning how to interact with the world when you run on a day-to-day baisis
Blessings of Chronic Illness
by The Blessings of Chronic Illness
2y ago
With the world reopening and me feeling better, our schedules are getting busier again. My new limitations make things confusing to navigate. I want to say yes to taking my children to practices and birthday parties, to visiting with friends and family—but the reality is settling in that I run on a day-to-day basis and commitments are difficult. Becoming ill during the pandemic buffered me from feeling obligated to keep up with a “normal” life. There were less expectations, less commitments, and more time at home. Within the confines of home, I can usually control my dysautonomia beautifully ..read more
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Our life has to be our message
Blessings of Chronic Illness
by The Blessings of Chronic Illness
2y ago
I have a need to talk about what I’m living and learning right now, a calling maybe. I don’t think living with illness means you dwell in a corner and say that everything is great. I think there can be a helpful honestly here that binds us. I’m often told to be careful with what I say. That my words have power. I believe they do. Yet, I don’t think that means I should preclude the honesty of how hard and beautiful this journey can be. I pray. I cry. I have fears. I have strength. I am so completely human and yet I am on a path that has been created by God. Some people want me to speak only he ..read more
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