(Erika Fletcher / Unsplash) I’ve written about the nervous system’s response to trauma in previous articles, and I think most of us are familiar with the concept of fight, flight and freeze. In a nutshell—and without getting into the weeds of neuroscience—fight, flight or freeze are all different ways the nervous system may respond to stressful, traumatic, terrifying, or dangerous situations. Yet a fourth trauma response has also been identified, one that has received less attention but is far more common than many of us realize. Share The Fawn Response to Trauma “Fawning” is a trauma respon ..read more

(Vika Glitter / pexels.com) Testimonial for Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns: A Catholic’s Guide to Recognizing and Recovering From Domestic Abuse: “The Catechism observes that God’s original plan for marriage has been ‘seriously disturbed’ by sin (1608).  As a result, man and woman’s ‘mutual attraction, the Creator’s own gift, changed into a relations… Read more ..read more

(Stephen Andrews / pexels.com) As my readers know from past articles, I don’t like using the word narcissist. It’s so stereotyped that it has become clichéd in our culture, yet sometimes it truly is the only term that fits. Someone who has a predominant narcissistic part of themselves is an individual who has allowed that self-focused part to become so blended it’s nearly always at the forefront of their personality. Their true, inmost selves become buried, replaced by an overbearing part. This often results in manipulative, abusive, and controlling behaviors. Yet how does a person develop a ..read more

I want to thank all of my faithful readers for your continued and enthusiastic support of my upcoming book, Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns: A Catholic’s Guide to Recognizing and Healing from Domestic Abuse. I’m so pleased to announce that my publisher and I are currently in the final editing stages, and the book will be released very soon. (Oleksandr P / Pexels.com) Due to the workload of the final edits, book cover production, etc., I need to take a little bit of time off from writing articles to focus on the publication. However, I will be back soon! I’ll also be offering bonuses and ..read more

In this excerpt of chapter eight of Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns, I discuss annulments for those who have had to seek a divorce after an abusive relationship. In the next installment of this series, I’ll offer excerpts from chapter nine, which covers the delicate yet important question: Can someone who uses abuse to control their relationship tru… Read more ..read more

(Grapix / Canva Photos) Have you ever wondered if you’re a victim of physical violence within your own home, but you’re not quite sure? Or perhaps you haven’t wondered at all, because the threats have been so hidden that you haven’t recognized them. After all, he’s never hit you … Even for those enduring physical abuse, the tactics aren’t always obvious. This may seem like a silly thing to say—after all, physical violence is always obvious, isn’t it? There will be an outright attack that results in bruises or scratches, broken bones or finger marks, perhaps even blood. Maybe an ambulance wil ..read more

The last installment of my book, Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns: A Catholic’s Guide to Domestic Abuse, covered part one of chapter four. The second half of that chapter, along with chapter five and portions of chapter six, will be published exclusively in the print copy of the book, to be released this autumn from En Route Books & Media. In addition to all the other benefits paid subscribers receive (subscriber-only posts, both new and archived; the opportunity to interact through comments and community involvement; and private offers for coaching and group support), I’ll soon be offe ..read more

Domestic abuse does a number on a person (and that’s putting it mildly). To be so betrayed—again and again—by the person you trust the most, love the most, and had the most faith in, is devastating. Just ask Jesus—He knows what that feels like. (Francesco Alberti / Unsplash) When I emerged from the frozen shock of abuse and began to heal, I felt like I’d spent the last decade sleeping my life away, cut off from the rest of the world, secluded in a void of my own making. I’d been hiding in the clefts of the rock so no one could hurt me any longer (Song of Songs 2:14). Betrayal trauma does tha ..read more

Before we dive into the next chapter of my book, Don’t Plant Your Seeds Among Thorns: A Catholic Guide to Domestic Abuse, I want to give a huge shout-out — filled with tremendous thanksgiving and gratitude — for the immense response to my book. In just the short time that it’s been incrementally released, I’ve been awarded the “Substack Bestseller” status due to the large increase in readers. Each subscriber helps me continue my ministry, so I’m truly grateful to all. I had no idea the response to my book would be so huge, yet it does speak to a lack in our Catholic culture, as I’m hearing ..read more

(Syd Wachs / Unsplash) In my articles and on my website, I use a variety of terms to describe the crazy, traumatic, and often dehumanizing tactics deployed by an abusive personality against his or her target. Many of my readers are familiar with these terms, since they’re common to nearly all abusive relationships. However, a refresher is always good, and if you’re just becoming aware of what’s going on in your life and determined to educate yourself as much as possible, a list of these terms can be very helpful. However, this list is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg—there are so many ..read more