Photo by Patrick Fore Now what? Now that my scars have healed and my hair has grown back, what’s next? Fighting cancer challenges your body, mind and spirit. When treatment ends, we often find ourselves picking up the pieces of our lives we put on hold or were too exhausted to manage on top of staying alive. Adjusting to life post-treatment can be just as challenging for our battle-weary bodies and minds. One of the hardest parts about remission is learning how to bridge the great divide from patient to survivor. Once my treatment, all the emotions and fears I had been suppressing to get to r ..read more

Sunrise on top of Doe Mountain Trail in Sedona, Arizona Surviving cancer is like hiking a mountain. Your climb begins the day you’re diagnosed. At first, a giant obstacle is all you see. The challenge ahead seems impossible. “How will I make it through this?” you wonder. You don’t know how, but slowly you start putting one foot in front of the other. Before long, you hardly recognize your surroundings. Instead of counting by days and weeks, you start to measure time by the number of treatment cycles. The life you left when you started this journey seems so distant now. A series of uphill stru ..read more

“It’s better to light a candle than curse the darkness.” -Chinese Proverb Today marks three years in remission. It’s my re-birthday of sorts —a day to celebrate beating cancer. I didn’t have the words or time to truly celebrate being cancer-free when my doctor told me I was officially cancer-free. I was halfway through chemo. I had four more months of treatment and tests to make it through before I felt comfortable celebrating. Getting told I was cancer-free was a welcome relief, but I was still frightened of what could come next.   There was no evidence of disease, so why did I h ..read more

Photo credit: Antonio Jeneski Some days I'm more of a worrier than a warrior. Some days, hard as I try, I can't shake the heavy feeling of dread running through my body. Most days, I find myself walking a thin line between grief and gratitude. Don't get me wrong. I'm so incredibly thankful to still be here. I do my best to praise God every day for the breath that fills my lungs. But no matter how much gratitude fills my heart, there is still a giant piece of me grieving how life used to be. I'm grateful to be a cancer survivor, and in a few months, I am hoping to celebrate three years in remi ..read more

I long to be like a sunflower... Eternally happy and cheery Quietly growing Always reaching toward the heavens Faithfully finding the light Even when darkness and shadows abound. It’s been a long time since I’ve written. Work and managing three kids eLearning from home has taken most of my attention. I’ve had little time or energy to focus on much else. To be honest, I’ve been struggling to find the words to describe the whirlwind of thoughts I have constantly swirling in my head. But when things start to feel overwhelming, it’s usually a sign I need to disengage from the world for a bit and ..read more

Photo credit: @ericmogie “Life is like an onion. You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.” - Carl Sandburg Some problems are like apples, while others are more like onions. Sometimes when you try to reach the core, all you find are more layers. Cancer taught me not every problem has a core issue that can be clearly resolved. Some issues are more like onions— seeping into our everyday life and changing the essence of everything they touch. Have you ever tried to peel an onion completely to its core? Once you start peeling layer by layer, you will find that the center of t ..read more

Remission doesn’t stop the effects of cancer. When treatment ends, the battle turns from physical to mental, as you try to reclaim your health moving forward. Although I’m now two years in remission, I still struggle with the fears of relapse.  Each time I feel a sore muscle or unusual bump in my neck, my mind immediately jumps to the worse possible scenarios.  “Is this cancer back?…this is exactly how you were feeling right before getting diagnosed.”  One of the first things I noticed while looking in the mirror one day was one side of my neck was raised higher than the other ..read more

How do you support someone just diagnosed with cancer? When someone you love gets diagnosed with cancer, you often wonder what you can do to help support them during such challenging times. The time between getting diagnosed to beginning treatment can range from a few weeks to a month or more. Knowing what to say or do to help support your loved one can be difficult, especially when their diagnosis and treatment plan is still unknown. As a recent cancer survivor, here are some simple and thoughtful ways to help and support someone during their cancer fight.  1. Show Support on Treatment ..read more

Looking back on things, the view always improves. Two years ago today, I finished chemo.  It’s one of those anniversaries you want so much to celebrate but also forget.   I’ll always remember the thoughts racing through my head as I feverishly rang the bell I brought from home to help mark the end of my treatment.  My body was weary from battling cancer for 9 months, but my spirit was ready to reach the finish line and celebrate my hard-won victory.  Reaching the end of treatment is a huge milestone.  Although I had reached remission months earlier—now ..read more

“Nothing is softer or more flexible than water, yet nothing can resist it.” - Lao Tzu The only difference between a few drops of water and a flood is persistence. So far, 2020 has flooded our minds and our hearts with great uncertainty. Unpredictability is now the only guarantee moving forward. No one knows what will happen next. The hits are relentless. They seem to keep coming from every angle. “What else?” and “What next?” are my daily mantras. I am growing tired of juggling so many responsibilities. Global shutdowns. Trying to balance working from home and eLearning. Planet-threatening as ..read more