One of our listeners submitted a heavy question asking about how long she has to let the abuse continue. The snagging point? She had an affair. So, what does one do if they have an affair while in an emotionally abusive relationship? Does that mean they now deserve to be in an abusive marriage until they die? What are their options, and how can we think about this? Join my candid conversation with Susan Estringel, one of our coaches within the Flying Free program, as we untangle this situation and speak with compassion to those of you who have lived this reality.  Read the show notes an ..read more

“Does God really hate divorce? And why haven’t my years of praying brought any fruit?”  Abuse survivors ask me these two questions regularly, and today, I’m going to use Malachi 2:16 as well as a chapter from my newest book, All the Scary Little Gods, to answer them both. Beautiful butterfly, I pray this episode is an encouragement to you as you wrestle with these important topics. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Links to resources about the idea that God hates divorce My newest book, All the Scary Little Gods, is a spiritual memoir about healin ..read more

Joining me for today’s fascinating episode is Dan Koch, podcaster and spiritual abuse researcher. Dan has created an incredible tool called the Spiritual Harm & Abuse Scale, and he breaks it down for us as we talk about spiritual abuse and the heavy impact it has on people’s lives.  Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Check out Dan’s Spiritual Harm & Abuse Scale. Also mentioned in today’s podcast episode was Dr. Keller’s Spiritual Abuse Questionnaire.  Connect with Dan on his website as well as Instagram.  Listen to Dan’s podcast ..read more

Sometimes a woman will say, “I decided to leave, but now my abuser is being so nice to me! What should I do?”  Unless an abuser has found a new source of supply, the abuser will want to maintain control over you. He’s been observing what makes you tick for a long time. He's been observing what works and doesn’t work to emotionally manipulate you. He knows how to both push all your buttons AND pull on your heartstrings.  One of the ways he knows he can pull on a nice girl's strings is to simply make a show of being nice to her, and then the victim thinks, “Oh, let's give him another ..read more

“In this book, I want to share parts of my journey paired with reflections based on my background as a biblical scholar to make available forgiveness paths different from the harmful ones so often proffered in the name of God.”  Susannah Griffith’s book, Forgiveness After Trauma, does exactly that, and it is now my absolute favorite book on forgiveness. In today’s episode, Susannah and I sit down and talk about how we can look at forgiveness in a more healing way than we are accustomed to. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: If you read any book ab ..read more

Abusers will project their own inner identity and issues onto their victims. Let’s talk about what that means, how it impacts a survivor, and what you can do about it. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: The YouTube video that inspired this episode, “Projective Identification Explained.” The book by Tina Swithin I mentioned, Divorcing a Narcissist: One Mom’s Battle.  My newest book, All the Scary Little Gods, is a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming.  Are you wondering what is happening inside your own pain ..read more

Dr. Christy Bauman has written yet another beautifully rich book, and in today’s episode, you will get a sneak peek! Her Rites: A Sacred Journey for the Mind, Body, and Soul takes you on a journey through each of a woman’s six rites of passage and empowers women through words, art, and music.  In today’s episode, we discuss What does birthright mean for Christian women? What is God’s legacy through women? How does the rite of exile impact female survivors? How does the rite of intuition empower women who have been abused? And so much more! Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a questi ..read more

I have been learning and reading and going to conferences and doing ALL the things recently, and I want to tell you all about it! This episode is a fun one where I let you in on what I’ve been up to and share a few golden nuggets I’ve found along the way. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Book I’ve been reading recently: After by Dr. Bruce Greyson, It’s Not You by Dr. Ramani, and Still Life by Penny Louise. Check out my new favorite podcast, The BEMA Podcast. My newest book, All the Scary Little Gods, is a spiritual memoir about healing from religious t ..read more

We talk about the abuse so much, we sometimes forget about the actual healing process. That’s why I’ve invited my long-time friend and seasoned guest Bob Hamp back on the Flying Free Podcast. Bob knows how painful and necessary the healing journey is, and he has some incredible golden nuggets of wisdom to share today that you do not want to miss. Some key points include  How Bob found himself in the advocate world and his backstory  Why trying to find resources for your abuser really isn’t helpful  How our bodies were designed to help protect us What the word “introject” means ..read more

Today I’m going to teach you how to use the same CBT triangle tool I use with the women I work with, my kids, and even myself to help us all understand and gain self-awareness around our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.  This CBT tool has three parts that can assist you in changing the way you think, and as a result, change your life and the lives of your kids. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Previous episodes where I talk about this tool: Episode 160, Episode 105, and Episode 107. Previous episodes where I talk about sex: Episode 104, Episod ..read more