Millions of couples argue about porn. The arguments sound like they’re about porn, but they really aren’t. The conflict almost invariably involves a woman who’s unhappy with a man’s porn-viewing, while the man defends himself or criticizes the woman’s unhappiness. Couples can argue about porn for hours, over months and years, and easily avoid talking about what’s really bothering them. The arguments typically sound like this: “I don’t want you looking at porn because… The post Arguments About Porn Aren’t About Porn appeared first on Dr. Marty Klein ..read more

Criminalizing surgical abortion and abortion pills, demonizing fertility treatments like IVF, limiting contraceptive access and the Morning After pill—many media call this a War on Women. No it isn’t. As I first described in my 2012 book, it’s a War On Sex. Framing this as a War on Women is a political mistake. It’s why there hasn’t been sufficient outcry from men about these various limits on THEIR rights. The post It’s NOT A War on Women appeared first on Dr. Marty Klein ..read more

Therapists face ethical dilemmas beyond "Don't have sex with patients." How do we deal with therapy's unintended impacts? What about couples who want a baby for all the wrong reasons? Or cases when another therapist is interfering with a patient's insight? Especially when it comes to sex, therapists don't get nearly enough training in... The post Ethical Dilemmas in Therapy appeared first on Dr. Marty Klein ..read more

More than half of all Americans live in states that now (or by year’s end) will require them to prove they’re adults in order to access most legal porn sites. How can you prove you’re a grownup? By uploading your driver’s license, passport, mortgage or employment record. Raise your hand if you want to share that kind of data with the government—in the context of watching porn, no less. The post Go Tell The Government You Watch Porn appeared first on Dr. Marty Klein ..read more

At our first session, when I ask “what would you like to accomplish in our therapy,” people will often mention their fantasies (too weird?), their desire (too low, too high), or their penis or vagina (which won’t do what they want when they want it). Very few people say “I want to feel less shame.” Of course not—they’re too ashamed. Sexual shame has many causes--and it's usually not an individual's fault. It takes many forms, which therapy can often reduce. The post Shame—A Bigger Problem Than Your Penis, Vagina, Fantasies, or Desire appeared first on Dr. Marty Klein ..read more

Dr. Debby Herbenick, one of the world’s most important sex educators and researchers, has a new book out, and it’s great. It’s called "Yes, Your Kid: What Parents Need to Know About Today’s Teens and Sex." Before you go away because you don’t have kids, or because your kids are too young or too old, read on. Because there’s stuff in this book that’s relevant to all of us. Especially the stuff about rough sex, which a huge number of young people are doing. The post “Yes, Your Kid”—and Maybe You? appeared first on Dr. Marty Klein ..read more

Every week, I counsel men and women heartbroken over infidelity. And every week, I try to prevent those people from making big mistakes. If it’s already too late, I help people deal with the consequences of their big mistakes. Frequently, nearly everyone in the Betrayed’s life is encouraging them to make big mistakes. That can even include their therapist. It most certainly includes the internet and social media. The post Cheated On? Here’s The WORST 5 Things You Can Do appeared first on Dr. Marty Klein ..read more

Many therapists think activism is part of therapy. Whether you agree with their politics or not, steer clear of therapists who see advancing social justice as part of their clinical role. How can you trust a therapist who isn’t neutral and objective? The post Do NOT Trust Activist Therapists! appeared first on Dr. Marty Klein ..read more

It’s Valentine’s Day, and so many people are thinking about sex. Most people won’t do it tonight (there’s no day of the year when “most people” have sex), but in case you do, here are some tips you probably won’t read elsewhere. In fact, they’ll contradict some of the most popular advice. BTW, no equipment or weight loss is needed for any of these. The post Valentine’s Day: Not-So-Crazy Ideas for Better Sex appeared first on Dr. Marty Klein ..read more

What kind of a woman would destroy a perfectly good marriage (and great sex life) because her husband looks at porn? There’s too, too many of them. One of those hubbies came to see me last week. OK, he lied about watching. Not cool to lie. But why would a grownup lie? The reason isn't that complicated—he... The post Porn Didn’t Destroy This Marriage—Her PornPhobia Could appeared first on Dr. Marty Klein ..read more