Sex and consent are complicated. There’s a lot more that goes into it than we’re taught in school, and because sex is such a vulnerable experience between people, having a secure feeling of safety is necessary for everyone involved to have a pleasurable time. But consent is more than just hearing a yes from your partner, and safety is about more than just physical barriers to present STIs.  We’ve gathered rounded up all of our blogs to date focused on sexual safety and consent as a quick reference guide you can turn to:  For cultivating sexual safety:  So, you wan ..read more

    It’s not an easy time to be trans in America. 2024 is on track to be one of the worst years in American history for anti-trans legislation–which means compassionate and effective allies are more important than ever for queer folks. We’ve written a lot about what it means to be a trans ally here on our blog–view this guide as your allyship starting point. Dive into the areas of allyship you might not have realized need attention, and use the questions they bring up for you to help motivate you into learning and acting more.  If allyship is new to you… When thinking about the ..read more

    Do you rest when you need to?  Making time for rest can be harder than it sounds, and a lot of people really struggle with rest. It often seems like there is something more important to do than to slow down or take a break, and rest often gets put on the back burner, to deal with later.  Think about how many times you’ve sacrificed sleep because you were working on something or had something better to do. We’ve all done it! The problem is that a lack of rest eventually catches up to us and becomes unsustainable.  Why is it so hard to rest? In a world where we’re e ..read more

    Feeling attracted to a transgender person is a natural and common part of sexuality no matter your identity. But due to widespread transphobia catching waves across our culture, there are a lot of destructive myths about being trans and some big questions about being in a relationship with someone who is transgender. This cultural transphobia exists within us all–even people attracted to or in relationship with trans people. It’s yet another symptom of white supremacist culture shaping our internal biases, which is why it’s important to consider those biases before entering into ..read more

The Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center (G&STC), a New York based group of psychotherapists focusing on gender, sexuality, sex, and relationships, announces its voluntary recognition of DC37 as the Union Representative for its therapists, psychotherapists, and counselors. G&STC’s therapists are at the core of our organization, and without them we would not be able to provide LGBTQ+, Kink, and ENM affirming and knowledgeable services to the people of New York. We are pleased to announce our voluntary recognition of the union and are looking forward to working together to strengthen ..read more

    Have you ever heard of a Dominance/submission contract or agreement?  Dominance/submission (D/s) agreements are a way to help people navigate relationships where there is a consensual power exchange. These agreements, sometimes called contracts, were popularized in the mainstream via the 50 Shades of Grey series, though like many other aspects of BDSM, they were not accurately portrayed. The idea of having a contract for a sexual relationship can be confusing, and the misinformation out there about what these agreements entail has made this concept even harder for some peop ..read more

    Check out G&STC’s Director Jesse Kahn talking with Kelsey Borresen at HuffPost about sex expert’s opinions on the best sex positions for people over 60. Modified Missionary: In the classic missionary sex position, the receiving partner is lying flat on their back, while the penetrating partner is on top of them and they’re facing one another. In this variation on missionary, the receiving partner lays on their back with their legs in the air and places a pillow beneath their lower back. It’s a great option if standard missionary puts too much pressure on the penetrating part ..read more

    The idea of virginity as we know it is an outdated concept that does a disservice to everyone — including straight allies. This antiquated messaging around having sex for the first time often relies on fear and shame but having sex for the first time should be something you’re allowed to be excited about! To help ensure that your first experience with sex is one you feel empowered by, we want to dive into common myths about having sex for the first time:  Myth #1: Penetration is required  Perhaps the most persisting, incorrect, and harmful myth about having sex for the ..read more

    Check out Director Jesse Kahn talking with Jay Deitcher at Wondermind about ways to deal with grief. “Communicate with your guilt.  ‘Often when someone dies, we're flooded with the would've, could've, should've of what we wish we had said or done differently. I help my clients acknowledge and recognize what they feel and get curious. What is the guilt trying to communicate to you? Knowing that can guide you in how to cope. Do you need to write a letter to the person who has passed? Is there someone in common that you need to share your feelings with? Do you want to reflect ..read more

    What is internalized homophobia? Each of us has internal biases. These things aren’t intrinsic to who we are, but since we all grow up being influenced by the people around us, the culture we’re raised in and the values of both of those groups (which are in turn influenced by one another) we learn to adopt those same values and priorities as the larger society around us–until we go through the long process of unlearning and relearning while exploring and developing our own values.  And in America, and in most Western society, we unfortunately still live in a culture that de ..read more