One of my pet peeves is that in this country (I’m French, remember) people use the word “intimacy” as a euphemism for sex. It’s not the same thing!  Intimacy is about owing your vulnerable underbelly, it’s about revealing yourself for the sake of wanting to be known, it’s not a tit for tat you-show-me-yours-I’ll-show-you-mine kinda thing. It’s vulnerable. Not fragile~vulnerable. And then there’s sex or fucking. If you’re lucky, you have the two together. But intimacy does not equate sex. If you’ve read my book Erotic Integrity, you know all about this. Intimacy does not feel ..read more

THURS 4/4 @ 6:30-8 PM Pacific at Citrine in Larkspur, CA. Description Part of Citrine’s mission is to promote the development of a stronger connection to yourself and your true essence. It is from this sacred space that we not only connect with ourselves, but with others. Join us at Citrine as Claudia Six, clinical sexologist, coach and TEDx speaker shares her knowledge about desire, connection and sensuality, providing insight on how to better your connection not only to yourself, but your partner as well. Too often women struggle with thinking their libido is too low or not being able to ma ..read more

I recorded a really fun podcast out of Canada with Cindy Stibbard. It was totally unrehearsed, just like sex: you make a decision to engage with the person and see where it goes. It went well. It was fun, and I think it was good for both of us. Listen to it in your car, while your prepping dinner or watching your kids on the soccer field: Listen here ******************************************************************************************** Also, I’ve amped up my Facebook presence. If you want to see a bit of my life, some tips & tricks, Facebook Lives, Here’s my page: https://www.f ..read more

SIX SECRETS TO SEXUAL COMPATIBILITY Sexual compatibility has become the holy grail of relationship success. I see so many couples who end up best friends, love each other, but have no sexual chemistry. The key to finding a partner who is sexually compatible is in knowing yourself. Knowing who you are as an erotic being, what your true sexual nature is, and living it unapologetically and authentically. That can take a little personal work to get to. That’s why I wrote the book Erotic Integrity Impediments to sexual compatibility include, not in any particular order, differing kinky procli ..read more

SIX because that’s my name and I had to pick a number. Sex myths abound and as we start off the year I thought I’d tackle a few of them which seem to persist in my practice. *If you don’t want to read about myths but do want to save money on my 8 session package, skip to #6. #1: everyone is having more sex than you. Truly, probably not. When I started my career, 30 years ago, most of my clients made more money than me, drove nicer cars than I did, and had more sex than I did. I was in a position to know. What really matters is whether you’re having enough sex for you, regardless of what you i ..read more

While most of us may not look this good or young, sitting around in lacy underwear, drinking champagne by a warm fire, I picked this photo because it has the aura of a soft place to land. A relationship should be a soft place to land, for both partners. By that I mean a place where you are known and accepted for who you are, where you trust each other, can receive each other (emotionally, sexually), where you have faith in the future individually and together. That is such a precious gift. And that is what I wish for all of us for this coming year, myself included. I deliberated, trying to fi ..read more

Relationship stress during the holidays happens every year. Starting around Halloween, couples come to me with disputes over the upcoming holidays. Whatever your religion or traditions, the holiday season, with its twinkling lights, candles and festive cheer, can cast a unique glow on our intimate relationships. However, beneath the surface of joyous gatherings and gift exchanges, lies a complex landscape that can impact couples in various ways. For some, the holidays offer a chance to strengthen bonds, creating shared memories through traditions and quality time. For others the pressure to c ..read more

REKINDLING INTIMACY: It’s never about sex. This is the #1 reason people seek sex therapy with me: rekindling intimacy. In this short video I list the three most common scenarios that lead to the loss of intimacy in a couple, and how I help clients address it. I first diagnose what exactly the problem is, because it’s often not what people think it is. I identify faulty beliefs and defense mechanisms, and look at how couples get disconnected, if they ever truly were connected. It’s never about sex. Sexual problems are rarely about sex. It’s about people disconnecting from themselves, and their ..read more

Good therapy helps you learn the difference between feeling better vs being better at feeling. We all want to feel better. Who wouldn’t? But that is a short sighted and short term goal. Ultimately the road to freedom and more ease is to become better at feeling. Along these lines I like what the Presence Process has to say about healing vs integrating:   Healing implies the assumption that something is wrong and needs to be got rid of. It is a reaction to a difficulty. Integration stems from the perspective that if something is happening it has validity, that it is an indi ..read more

  I recently discovered a song that has rocked my soul: Lewis Capaldi’s Someone You Loved. Apart from how evocative his voice is, the words of the song struck a chord with me: …This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy I need somebody to heal Somebody to know Somebody to have Somebody to hold It’s easy to say But it’s never the same I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain How many of us have been or stayed in a relationship because it numbed the pain, sometimes pain we didn’t even know we were feeling? That line hit me in the gut. And this one: I guess I kin ..read more