Living in a monastery in a lot of ways can feel like being on a retreat that never ends. The day in the life of a monk is extremely busy from 5:20 am until 8 pm, it can even be longer than that if I had homework. As monks, we had about 2 weeks a year to go on vacation and we each had about 1 day a month for a small retreat day. We would go to a cabin that we owned and most monks on their retreat day would go hiking, bbq, and just relax. If you can once a month, take your own retreat day and put away your computer and your cell phone. Just take a day for yourself with no work and relax. Even mo ..read more

As monks, we would have all meals in silence, but at lunch and dinner, one of the monks would be assigned to read a book. Part of being a monk is about constantly bettering yourself, learning, and being more cultured. It was always emphasized in the monastery to learn constantly. You would think that all the books that monks read were always spiritual but that was not always the case. We would certainly read books about monastic life and spirituality but we would also read books with inspiring true stories as well. We would never read fiction books at meals. For your future meals you should tu ..read more

I never imagined myself being a monk and I never imagined loving a quiet space either. Before I joined the monastery I could describe myself as an extravert. As time went on and I as practiced being in silence, my ability to recharge in silence became stronger. Now when I'm feeling overwhelmed I just need to take about 20 minutes in silence to process parts of my day. Most people can't stand being left with their own thoughts in silence and are actually afraid of being alone. Silence in solitude is a practice just like anything else. Start slowly by being in silence for 10 minutes a day and wo ..read more

Every time summer would come around and our school would be off for vacation I would become homesick. As a monk, I would be experiencing a classic case of fear of missing out. When the students got to go home and visit family, I felt like I was stuck at the monastery only to be doing hard manual labor. I always wondered what it would be like to go home, relax, and visit family. I wondered how awesome it would be to be out in the world again and go out on the weekends. As the classic saying goes, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. The grass is always green where you water it. htt ..read more

Being in the monastery, was many of the greatest years of my life. For many years I would think and pray about if this was the life for me. This along with school was very stressful because forever is a long time. If I were to be a monk the rest of my life I would never be able to get married or have a companion. When you enter a monastery, your natural desire to have a family doesn't go away, at least for me. I remember when my friends would come with their spouses and their kids and I would be so jealous. But my friend once told me that he was jealous that I got to live in a monastery. No ma ..read more

I noticed when I was in graduate school I had lots of insecurities surrounding presenting in classes. When talking with an old wise monk about why I was feeling this way, he asked if I had any childhood trauma. I thought childhood trauma meant that something horrific had happened to me and that's not the case. But he explained to me that we can have trauma from little events in our life that don't necessarily have to be big but can have a great impact on us. I was insecure about presenting in front of teachers even as an adult and as a monk. A few teachers told me growing up that I was a horri ..read more

When I first came to the monastery one of the old wise monks told me that if I had any wounds from childhood that they would be healed. I didn't know what he was talking about at first, but he was talking about how many men come to the monastery from single-parent homes or broken families. Everyone comes to the monastery with baggage, just like the real world. Everyone comes to jobs, relationships, or friend groups with their own past baggage. The way you heal from past wounds of childhood is to surround yourself with a community of people who lift you up. We all have needs growing up but when ..read more

I remember when I was beginning my journey as a monk and I would receive compliments all the time. I thought it was so weird and it made me feel uncomfortable. I was not confident in my abilities, especially when it came to public speaking. When I would read at one of our prayers, my brother monks would always compliment me. I would never say thank you and just accept it, I would just say stuff like, oh yeah I really enjoyed that reading I was really into it. Or I'd say, yeah must have been a fluke I'm not really good at public speaking. I started to realize over time how negative I was and wh ..read more

I noticed when I was in graduate school I had lots of insecurities surrounding presenting in classes. When talking with an old wise monk about why I was feeling this way, he asked if I had any childhood trauma. I thought childhood trauma meant that something horrific had happened to me and that's not the case. But he explained to me that we can have trauma from little events in our life that don't necessarily have to be big but can have a great impact on us. I was insecure about presenting in front of teachers even as an adult and as a monk. A few teachers told me growing up that I was a horri ..read more

I knew a monk that was extremely negative and I noticed when I would join in at first I'd feel good but after a long conversation, I'd just feel gross. Negativity can be cancerous and bring you down, especially with those closest to us and that we have the most interaction. Negativity within a community is the worst thing that could happen, it can cause division and make people have to choose sides. One toxic person can ruin a lot of joy and happiness for everyone. If you're living life to do good by others and you're a negative person you are doing it wrong. For me, it takes a lot more energy ..read more