There are many personal reasons why a woman would choose not to parent her baby.  None of them better or worse than another.  If you find yourself in a situation where you are considering adoption for your baby, you are not alone. Adoption has changed, pivoted, and began to be about the most important person in the triad-the adoptee. Research shows the children that grow up knowing their story and how they came to be in their adoptive family from day one have less identity struggles than children who were told later&nbs ..read more

DO I NEED AN ADOPTION AGENCY  It wasn’t all that long ago that a woman considering adoption would grab the Yellow Pages, you know that big book everyone used to find a business listing. They would turn to the section “Abortion Alternatives”. They would see many different professionals they could contact via phone and get their answers and concerns voiced. They could feel how they were respected or not, how they were judged or not. It was a feeling expectant moms would describe to me when I asked why ..read more

“We were told (8 years ago) updating our son’s birth mom once a year is reasonable”.  It this reasonable? Yes, I am sure ASC thought it was reasonable 8 years ago!  But being an adoptive parent means you must lifelong learners of all thing’s adoption. This is modern adoption. Updating your adoptee’s birth mom annually or only when they request is outdated and unreasonable now, with the numerous ways we can stay connected virtually and electronically.   I can imagine this 8-year-old boy ..read more

On hospital white boards around the country and deep within adoptee files is the acronym BUFA. “Baby Up For Adoption” This acronym is used to describe a patient who is seeking medical care and is considering adoption.  In the patient’s pre-natal medical records, it’s listed where you would put a “complication”, where it says she has high blood pressure or her family history of diabetes, or AMA “Advanced Maternal Age.”  When mo ..read more

It’s 1999 and a 23-year-old woman was considering placing her baby for adoption. She was a single mom of two and had her mother’s support to consider adoption. She and her mother were looking at profiles but kept saying the same thing, “nothing clicked”. The adoption coordinator at that time, according to her notes suggested she meet a family to see what she thought. The coordinators next note was “Meeting was cordial, but I left with concerns about this match”. The expectant mom was looking for a Christian family, and no one was what she was looking for. Her pregnancy was progressing, and tim ..read more

I hear this phrase at the gym and I find it difficult to get out of my comfort zone. After work, the last thing I want to do is get my heart rate up and sweat. I give a dirty look to the coach but I keep working till my heart rate goes up and up some more. At ASC, we have been exploring and sharing our thoughts on race, class and culture. More importantly, we’ve been listening and learning. There are a lot of uncomfortable subjects I have been dancing around, avoiding, regarding race and class. I know I need to start speaking up and getting uncomfortable with these conversations. I am willing ..read more

Language in adoption is constantly changing. And, it varies greatly. Until recently, we had been using the concept of “positive” adoption language. Once we started listening closely and more attentively to birth parents and adoptees, we know there is a problem with referring to adoption language as “positive.” While we and others in the field of adoption may have had good intentions, “positive” adoption language can lead others to believe adoption is just that. All positive. But, adoption is more complex then the historical narrative. Like many others, we want to move away from this concept of ..read more

Let me set the scene. I was very pregnant. Probably 7-8 months. I was starting to experience some swelling and water retention, pre eclamptic. Likely not feeling the best. Hormonal. Uncomfortable. Testy. Our ASC team was at our weekly staff meeting. I can’t remember exactly what we were discussing. And really, the specifics don’t matter. The room started to heat up. Tensions rising. As can sometimes happen when a handful of strong, smart, opinionated women are working together. It’s why we’re good at what we do. I was sharing my heart, my passion for the birth mothers. Specifically the ones I ..read more

After 22 years and 100’s of adoptions, they are coming back for answers. I started leading ASC’s post placement team in January this year. Once I dug in, I realized how much of a need there is. We have only just began to scratch the surface of my dreams for this project. I believe this is the most important work we do. The adoptions of my past, of the agency’s past, shhhh, our mistakes, is what keeps me digging in. I feel somewhat responsible. I did nothing intentionally wrong, ASC and other adoption agency’s did nothing intentionally wrong. We did not know any better. Just like my mom threw m ..read more

Arguably, the most important work we are doing right now at ASC is post placement care. We’ve spent the last couple of years developing our post placement program and then continually changing and adding to it as we learn more. It’s a work in progress. Currently, it consists of a dedicated day each week, a specific phone number and email and a team ready to support all members of the triad. We are getting birth moms started in post placement counseling. We are helping birth and adoptive families navigate the logistics of their open adoptions. We’re signing adoptive families up for post placeme ..read more