I’m an OG adoptee. Violent foster care and “thrown away” by both parents individually when I was 5-years-old. Being adopted was the good part for me. I also know that for many others, the nightmare just continued. My primary defense for navigating life given the trauma and it’s lifelong effects on me have always been to try to understand myself deeply. My emotions, the thoughts and beliefs that I employ to understand and navigate this world and my severely damaged heart from being given up by the two most important beings to my 5-year-old self, eternally the center of who I am. I have found o ..read more

My mental health has always been all over the place for as long as I can remember. As I’m getting older I’m starting to think I have some serious emotional issues that are just getting more prominent. I want connection with people and at the same time I can’t feel it. I’m starting to question my sanity and I look back and talk about it in therapy (I’ve read the primal wound) and I know my life is more nuanced.. however I am starting to think is it because I was adopted? My psychologist is amazing but I don’t think she’s well versed in dealing with adoption and the baggage that comes with it ..read more

Hey Everyone, In short, with almost 6,000 members, you all need more support. I have done the best I can over the last decade. as this subreddit has grown from 1 (me) to where it is now. As I am sure many of you have noticed I have periods where I am extremely diligent and periods where I am almost non-existent. ​ It's very hard to give up control, but you all deserve it. I like to think I've done a solid job making sure the subreddit follows the will of the majority - a space just for adoptees where we can discuss topics we want and keep outside conversations out. ​ I am not looking to give ..read more

Just curious how people handle this. My APs have German/Hungarian (immigrated in 1920s) and British (like first US colonists) heritage respectively. I did ancestry.com and my results show that I’m mostly Scottish and Irish, with a handful of other European ethnicities mixed in (aka we’re all very white lol.) Anyway, I grew up with mostly a German influence from my dad’s side of the family, so I always kind of say that I’m German, even though ethnically I’m not. What triggered this reflection right now specifically is that it’s St. Patrick’s day, and I’m ~30% Irish, so technically it’s my cult ..read more

My amom reached out to me right before Christmas. We’re estranged and can go several years in silence. I’m so used to her bs I didn’t even pay attention. She pops up and it’s a given she’s up to something but whatever. I seem to sink back into being the “bigger person” so easily. She sent a gift to my house via one of her kids (the only one I really have any type of relationship with). I thought nothing of it, set the bags to the side. She messaged asking if my grandchild liked the gifts. Ah-ha! Yeah gifts for a child that she doesn’t know nor is she welcome in that child’s life. I tell my ki ..read more

I’m legally half adopted but only found out on accident when I was 18. Extremely long story short- my biological mom lied to me growing up that my dad just signed my birth certificate late because he was away at college. There were a lot of signs growing up that he wasn’t my biological father but I ignored all of it since I had no reason to question my mom. My last name changed when I was 12 because he “signed my birth certificate” which I would learn later on he actually adopted me. When I was 18 a family friend slipped up about me having a biological father not knowing my parents decided to ..read more

Hey, so if you’re a foreign adoptee above the age of 18 in the US you can FOIA request your immigration information and that may include a bunch of your adoption paperwork. Mine came back with over 100 pages of information. For me it was all known information, but if you want answers that could be a good place to go. submitted by /u/recycled_son [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

So I did not know I was adopted until my Dad (adopted and I consider only as he was awesome) mentioned that a relative was adopting their foster daughter, he just said (as if I should know) "it was different when I adopted you". Well I can tell you that absolutely threw me and I didn't really talk to anyone or do much for a week. Did anyone else have this, I am sure had I bèn told previously I would have remembered. submitted by /u/jacqui1811 [visit reddit] [comments ..read more

I was born and adopted in Virginia in 1976. My parents told me that I was placed for adoption immediately at birth. I was taken from the delivery room before my birth mother could see or hold me (out if fear she’d change her mind). I’m also told she could have taken me back during the first month. So I was placed in foster homes during that month. I’d be in a home for a week then change to another home. This weekly rotation was to prevent any one family from getting too attached to me. After that month passed I was placed with my adoptive parents. I don’t know how to validate this though. Doe ..read more

Should I reach out again? I 22F was adopted at around two years old. My adoptive parents are wonderful people who gave me an amazing life. When I was sixteen a biological sibling of mine, let’s call her Ellie 25F , contacted my parents asking for permission to be a part of my life. Because of my parents, and some other things I won’t get too deep into, it was decided that I was not ready to meet her. When I got to college and moved out I contacted my sister without my parents knowledge. They were not very open to the idea of me having contact with my bio family. Ellie and I texted back and fo ..read more