An unfortunate switchboard error has resulted in all prayers for the Covid-19 pandemic to end being sent to the god who created the pandemic rather than someone who might actually be able to help.Several Christadelphians recently alerted staff to the possibility that Covid-19 may have been intentionally foisted on the world by God as some kind of punishment, presumably as a response to the sound of their hymn singing (we can only speculate at this point). Indeed, after a brief inquiry, it has been discovered that since the very beginning of the pandemic, all prayers for Covid-19 to end have ..read more

If there is one thing Christadelphians agree on, it is that the global pandemic of 2020 was a message from God. However, the English translation is still a way off.Many Christadelphians seemed quite sure that this was God's way of telling us the end is near. We suspect if those people got a flat tyre or lost their keys they would probably interpret those events in much the same way. We usually feel like that on Monday mornings. But actually lining up the events of 2020 with any biblical prophecy has proved rather tricky. The hot favourite is a verse in Revelation chapter 6 because it happens ..read more

The Christadelphians tell us that God wrote a perfect book containing his clear message for all of humankind, but they insist on helping you understand it correctly, you know, just in case. Finding a good publisher was tough in the iron age. If you were rich you might manage to pay someone who knew how to accomplish the apparently difficult task of making lines on a page. It was expensive partly because parchment didn't exactly grow on trees in those days, but mostly because of the ridiculous size of the font. It was fixed-width and double-line spacing and that's it. Then there was that jer ..read more

Breaking news: Scholars have managed to reconstruct the entire Greek New Testament text by piecing together all of the Greek words mentioned during Christadelphian lectures. Christadelphian speakers have long been known for their exceptional ability to translate various English words from the Bible back into its original language, and now this rare talent has truly paid off. It has been claimed that even if we lost all manuscripts of the New Testament we could still reconstruct it entirely from quotations by early church fathers. Well, now we can take that a step further and say that even i ..read more

We have overheard rumours of a significant reduction in Kingdom staff due to the number of sales falling far below initial estimates. There have been heated arguments between the product team and the marketing department as each has claimed the other is wholly responsible for the shortfall. One company spokesperson went so far as to blame the public for not being discerning enough. However, several members of the public have raised serious concerns about whether the product can live up to the hype, especially as its claims have yet to be demonstrated at all. Early buyers are allegedly sti ..read more

Another traveller has returned from the afterlife, bringing the wonderful news that in the Kingdom everyone literally gets their own vine and fig tree to sit under. If you're a Christadelphian and you had been eyeing off that nice vine or fig tree down at the local garden centre but were a little unsure on the price, well you can now hold off on that purchase because you'll be getting one of each to enjoy all to yourself in the Kingdom, for free! It appears the biblical literalists were right again and the prophet Micah was not actually speaking metaphorically when he foretold of this amazi ..read more

If you found yourself yawning and struggling your way through yesterday's exhort, fear not. The exhorting brother assured us that our suffering isn't worth comparing to the glory that's coming later. We admit we weren't paying super close attention ourselves, but from what we heard it sounded like Brother whatsisname had made some deal with God that because his talk was so boring and long and we had to suffer through it, God was going to make it up to us at a later date. He didn't say when - something about no one knows the exact time. Come to think of it, that does sound a bit dodgy. We'll ..read more

We have received news of a majestic figure slowly descending through the clouds towards the ground, as a small group of excited Christadelphians gathered to witness the amazing event. The atmosphere was electric, as one Christadelphian began reciting Acts 1:11 over and over, emphasising the words "shall so come in like manner", referring to the Christadelphian expectation that their saviour would return visibly from the sky. As the being slowly came into focus, a hush fell over the crowd, followed by a gasp, as the descending figure turned out to be none other than Mary Poppins! We guess ..read more

A group of Ex-Christadelphians recently got the surprise of a lifetime when a ritual Bible-burning ceremony accidentally summoned the Old Testament prophet Samuel back from the dead. Unfortunately no one in the group knew of a humane way to send him back, so he left in search of a certain Witch of Endor after being treated for minor burns. As we go to press, the prophet has just strolled past our office, shouting out something about a high score and being resurrected more times than Jesus ..read more

An ex-Christadelphian has ended up in a muddle after attempting to join the Church of Satan, thinking they advocated the worship of adversaries. Having been a Christadelphian his whole life up until that point, he felt that his perfected adversarial nature made him well suited to the Satanist movement. At first he was proud to learn that Satanists do not believe in a supernatural devil, and congratulated himself on his keen knowledge of Hebrew and Greek words. However, he became confused when he read their manifesto, as it became clear they did not believe in adversary-worship either. He did ..read more