Helping mum recover her lost memories: Making a life story book
Julia's Dementia Blog
by juliasdementiablog
3y ago
In this post, I share what I learnt about creating a life story book with mum. After describing encouraging experiences of some reminiscence activities, I chart six steps to create a life story book. Remembering married life I was inspired by the success of a pre-dementia present I’d made to celebrate my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. One morning it helped mum move from not knowing she’d ever been married, to remembering her life with her beloved husband. We discussed the items in the gift which all allude to significant moments in their marriage from their very first date. “You brought hi ..read more
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Mindfulness for carers
Julia's Dementia Blog
by juliasdementiablog
3y ago
Mindfulness can help strengthen your resilience so you are more able to stay afloat during stormy times. If you are caring for someone living with dementia, it is essential that you take care of yourself too. There’s so much to learn about how to support your loved one’s wellbeing you can forget to look out for your own. Mindfulness practice can help you develop inner calm so you can weather the storm and respond more wisely to the ups and downs of caring. Below you can find links to mindfulness exercises for different purposes. First, you may need some concrete examples of the value of mindfu ..read more
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Marriage breakdown: A casualty of caring?
Julia's Dementia Blog
by juliasdementiablog
3y ago
This time last year I was by mum’s side saying my goodbyes. Since then, instead of mourning her loss, I have been preoccupied with another threat to my world and wellbeing. While I was away from home caring for mum, cracks erupted in my previously strong and successful marriage. I desperately hoped we could fix things when I got back home, and over the last 18 months we have tried. Nevertheless, last month my twenty-year relationship came to an end. As I try to come to terms with the breakdown of my marriage, I find I can now grieve for my mother too. I have finally started planning the inter ..read more
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Mum, me and dementia: Learning the important things in life
Julia's Dementia Blog
by juliasdementiablog
3y ago
The Hunter Centre asked me to write about my experience of caring for my mother. As an organisation that supports people living with dementia and their carers, they wanted to bring a personal perspective to navigating this sometimes challenging area. I wrote the following post for them. It is a summary of my caring journey with links to what I learned along the way. I do hope it is helpful to other carers. Dementia takes hold In October 2015, my mother woke up one morning and didn’t recognise her home of twenty years. Following a series of mini-strokes dementia had taken hold of her, and she h ..read more
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Celebrating a life of love
Julia's Dementia Blog
by juliasdementiablog
3y ago
The celebration of my mother’s life was last Friday. The sun shone all day, amidst a sea of grey, wet days both sides of the funeral. The word ‘love’ featured throughout the service including the poem ‘Love’ by George Herbert read by Jack my husband, and chosen by mum several years ago. Love was the main theme in the hymns and songs and an address from Canon Philip Masson, who knew her well. My sister and I read our personal tributes. Here’s mine. “I feel so blessed to have had June Powell, for my mother. During my entire life, my sense of mum above all is that she cared about people. She had ..read more
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Mum dies peacefully
Julia's Dementia Blog
by juliasdementiablog
3y ago
My mum died in the early hours of this morning, peacefully in her sleep. Despite her dementia, she has remained physically strong and robust over the last four years. After each knock, scrape and illness, she has recovered completely, regaining her original strength. But not this time. Two falls and an infection less than a week ago led to her rapid and sudden decline. My sister and I have been keeping vigil since 23 December. A life that touched many others I have longed for the time when her distress would at last be over. Yet no doubt it won’t make her departure easier t ..read more
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Anniversary gift: A printer’s tray
Julia's Dementia Blog
by juliasdementiablog
3y ago
Earlier this year, I had a lovely twitter reaction to a gift I’d made to mark my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary. Their golden anniversary was in 2010, the year before my father died. The gift was a printer’s tray with each compartment representing significant times in the couple’s lives since they met. As my parents were so different from each other, the compartments also symbolise their very separate interests. Here is my original tweet about the printer’s tray: Sometimes I talk mum thru objects in a gift I made. An old printer’s tray contains items that represent significant moments in ..read more
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The year in pictures: Caring for mum at home
Julia's Dementia Blog
by juliasdementiablog
3y ago
Mum moved back into a care home last month. I have lived with her and cared for her over the last 12 months, but had always planned to return to my own home at the end of the year. I took lots of photos to capture our good times together, knowing these times were limited. I’ve enjoyed compiling these pictures, which bring back treasured memories. Preparations for bringing mum home The year started with preparations for bringing mum back to her home. These involved removing pictures that might distress her, clearing out furniture, creating ‘dementia friendly’ door and drawer signs, and making a ..read more
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Settling into the care home
Julia's Dementia Blog
by juliasdementiablog
3y ago
It’s been a month since my mother moved into the new care home. Despite the disastrous beginning, and some inevitable concerns, mum seems to be settling in and I’m feeling a little encouraged. I have been preparing for this move for almost a year. Whether or not a move to a care home is planned or triggered by crisis, there is a lot you can to do to support the wellbeing of your loved one once they have moved. Coordinate regular visits When someone first moves, the received wisdom used to be to hold off visiting for the first week to allow your loved one to settle into the new care home. I’ve ..read more
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Finding a Good Care Home for Mum (Part 3)
Julia's Dementia Blog
by juliasdementiablog
3y ago
I haven’t felt like writing after my last blog post ‘Finding a good care home (part 2)’. Mum’s move to a new care home has been more traumatic than I imagined. It felt at times that all the months of preparation, shortlisting, interviews and visits were a complete waste of time. Conscious that this blog is supposed to be about supporting the wellbeing of someone you love, I’m not sure I’ve got much useful advice to share. But for the sake of completing my series of blog posts on ‘Finding a good care home’ here goes… Mum was on her feet, by herself, with a zimmer frame in a big living room when ..read more
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