fb.watch/futkGUpmaB/ This girl never ceases to amaze me ! Everytime this disorder has me feeling defeated , she brings me back with something unexpected . She reminds me why I have to always keep pushing . Alyssa is non verbal . We were told she would never talk or be able to understand . I vividly remember being told at an IEP meeting that she would never be able to understand any words without a cue or a picture . This was pretty much the consensus . I refused to believe it. I fought back the urge to lunge across the table . To scream how dare you say such things about my beautiful , intelli ..read more

She looked like a typical little girl, Bright curious eyes, adorable curls,a laugh that made you instantly smile. She loved water, spinning in circles and all things Barney. She loved dirt and rocks and playing with bubbles. She would swing on her belly for long periods of time. All these things didn’t seem that out of the ordinary for a two year old. When you looked closer You could see she wasn’t talking or even saying words. Her food choices were extremely limited. Her understanding was inconsistent and she was very very busy. She hated clothes on and couldn’t tolerate shoes. She would ha ..read more

I often say that the A in autism stands for anxiety. The anxiety causing as much turmoil as the autism if not more. I see them as one in the same, each fueling the fire for the other. Anxiety is a beast. It can lay low at times but once it’s up and running there is no stopping it. I have had anxiety myself for many years. It has completely taken over my life at times. It causes so much inner turmoil. I have been blessed with many types of anxiety and well at times it’s a living nightmare. It gives me insight to my daughter. To have those feelings and have no language to express it. No understa ..read more

Learning is very challenging for Alyssa. There was not a lot of focus on academics in her earlier years. She was completely non verbal, had zero safety awareness,had behaviors and sensory avoidance and seeking behaviors. Their was more focus on helping her to communicate, stay safe and getting her to attend to activities. She didn’t tend to retain a lot of information. At one time I was told their was no point in teaching her the alphabet. At the time I understood, there was so many other things that were more of a priority. Now I second guess that decision. I was told it would be too much inf ..read more

Earlier in my journey I would often wonder why, Why my daughter, our family? It seemed unjust,unfair, why did this happen to her. It didn’t make sense, when I looked around I saw other families and their children and everything looked different from ours. Easy, simple, typical We were anything but. We were loud, chaotic, and everything was challenging. I searched for a reason, for something that could explain it. There wasn’t an answer. This was the life she was given, the life we were all given. I didn’t know anyone else who had a child with autism. Her challenges were very apparent. We st ..read more

This is our 29th Valentine’s Day together. Kind of blows my mind when I think about us all these years later. Valentine’s is just another day in our crazy lives, no reason to make a fuss or waste money on cards. We know exactly what we mean to each other. We are best friends underneath it all and we have helped each other through some really tough times. We don’t always see eye to eye. That is an understatement. I was recently asked how we have stayed together. I honestly don’t know. There are times that we barely speak. We just coexist in the same household. Times that we can’t get on the sa ..read more

I am proud to Announce The table For five podcast that me and four other Autism mamas have started have found someone who shares our mission to partner with us. Lindsay Rosenthal is a behavioral analyst who works with children on the autism spectrum as well as other developmental disabilities. She saw the difficulties the caregivers moms specifically have providing care to their children and lack of support and understanding that there is. We at the table of five know first hand now emotionally exhausting and isolating that can be. Lindsay had a vision to find a way to give support to lessen ..read more

Depression is being sad for no reason. It’s feeling exhausted from nothing It’s trying to muster a smile but you feel dead inside. It’s hating yourself for feeling this way It’s putting one foot in front of the other while being so overwhelmed about they way you feel It’s screaming inside for the feelings to stop but they don’t It’s taking a breath to try to channel these feelings Trying to find a reason but there isn’t one It’s just holding on to the thought that it will pass Mental health struggles are silent and invisible They are so heavy to bear and so frustrating because they can sneak u ..read more

Mental health struggles are real and can be dark You can lose your ability to cope and even to care It is can push you to the point that you can barely get out of bed , or shower. It can literally paralyze you. Except when your a mom, especially a mom to a child with special needs you don’t have that luxury. You have to get up and at least do the bare minimum to keep everyone safe and cared for. It takes all your mental energy. At times you don’t even know why you feel this way. You become numb and everything feels so heavy. You walk through the motions of your day with no feeling. Sometimes y ..read more

Young love , there’s nothing like it . You live in this bubble of hope. You make plans for the future and wonder about what your life together will bring. You dream about where you will live , how many children you will have, what vacations you will take. You look forward to a happy life together. Especially being so young and naive you are not imagining all the heartbreak and loss you will have to go through. It’s a part of life and how you cope and support each other as a couple has as much to do with how you get though these things together as the actual loss itself. As young couple , we t ..read more