I looked around and it suddenly hit me. I am a special needs mom. I, of course, have known that but something about being in a park specifically designed for children with all disabilities made it all too real. I saw dads pushing their children in wheelchairs moms carrying their child and moms standing around chatting. What was different was the feeling I had. And in that moment, I had peace. There was no judgement at this park. Accepting Autism was one thing accepting this life was another. Over time I have accepted pieces of this life. Sometimes I had no choice. Early on I spoke about not be ..read more

The simplest thing will catch me off guard. A word a gesture or a simple acknowledgement of something. Each time I am frozen by it. Autism changes day to day. We can have stretches of time where she is calm but there is usually if not always a fall out. Day to day is hard but we are having longer stretches of good. Longer days of happy and calm. And her language is exploding and not just words. Meaningful words. Receptive language asking and answering questions. Yesterday we attended an event host by the Canucks Autism Network. What an incredible organization that tirelessly works to prov ..read more

Grief is an ever-evolving emotion. I have gone from utter despair to simple sadness. The feeling of grief is always there tucked deep in my throat and woven into my soul. My greatest fear is after I am gone. I have written about grief many times, but I feel for me it has shifted. I no longer sit in the day to day grief. And make no mistake about it there is deep grief. Greif my child is burdened with a life so heavy it weighs her down. Grief my child will never have a typical life. Grief my child will not understand when I am gone. There is not a day that goes by where I do not look at her and ..read more