I can’t quite believe it’s been 6 months since I stopped drinking. The longest I ever went before total abstinence was 6 weeks and that was only to have a break and see how long I could go. I never had the intention of giving up altogether. In fact I had various breaks throughout lockdown in an effort to control my drinking along with moderating which always ended in tears. Moderation sometimes worked. I could go a week with having a couple of beers a night or even a night without any alcohol (sad how proud of myself I would be knowing I hadn’t needed a drink that day). However, it would alway ..read more

So the joy of being sober kinda came and then went away again pretty quickly. People said it gets easier. Why the hell do I feel so low? To be fair to ‘People’, they did also say that it wasn’t going to be an easy ride and that my emotions would be pretty eratic after I stopped drinking but I honestly didn’t realise to what extreme they could possibly reach. Now I’ve fallen off this supposedly pink cloud that the short term benefits of not drinking bring; I get it! I just didn’t know it would be this bloody turbulent. I don’t really know what it is to feel ‘normal’ anymore, not that I ever did ..read more

So anyone that knows me, will know (and have experienced) that dealing with the stress of day to day life isn’t exactly my strong point. I’m pretty useless at it but I always found addiction was a pretty useful coping mechanism. Addiction to drinking came first and with that came a whole load of other toxic behaviours that helped me ‘cope’ with varying situations. I used various coping mechanisms to help with my anxiety, stress and unhappiness throughout my life. Drinking and smoking were a subconscious way of coping but I had no idea. I never really saw them as such. My addiction to spending ..read more

Not drinking is hard. Living in a society where nearly everyone around you drinks is insanely hard. The world opening up again in general is giving me anxiety, let alone having to navigate it without my favourite coping mechanism; alcohol. Although it’s been a blessing to ease into my sobriety without a busy social life, I’ve started my recovery in a very sheltered environment and it’s going to be such a shock coming out of it. If you’re like me, then you’re likely to have gravitated towards friends that drink. Sober friends just didn’t fit in with your drinking career. It was important to kno ..read more

It is not really a surprise that a lot of people in sobriety also suffer from various other mental illnesses, and you could argue that addiction is one of those. I have often wondered whether it was my anxiety and depression that caused me to become an alcoholic or whether being an alcoholic was something that caused my anxiety and depression. I now know that I had been an anxious and depressed child way before alcohol came into my life and that subconsciously alcohol and other drugs were a way of self-medicating the symptoms of these illnesses. They gave me confidence and were something I cou ..read more

Self-love is something I find extremely difficult. I genuinely used to ask my therapist how do I love myself in the hope that she would have an easy solution. My inner critic has always had a very strong influence in the way I think, the way I talk to myself and the way I act! Drinking certainly didn’t help and I would scoff at people who meditated or did affirmations. I’m a very impatient person who wanted one quick solution. Now that I’ve stopped drinking, I have more clarity on how to practice self-love. I’m learning to be kinder and not put so pressure on myself by saying ‘I should be doin ..read more

A main reason why those struggling with addiction take so long or feel as though they can’t seek help for their illness is because of the stigma surrounding the subject. Alcoholics are often seen as weak, helpless people who can’t handle their drink. They are stereotyped as self-pitying, emotionally unstable, unreliable and selfish. Although many of these characteristics may be true, it is as if people assume that alcoholics choose to have these defects. Another huge assumption is that you have to have lost everything in your life and be a homeless, park bench drinker to be an alcoholic. An as ..read more

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