Hello! I’m still here, despite all evidence to the contrary. I feel like this blog has been gathering dust in recent months – there are reasons (excuses?), but those of you on my social media will be aware, and I don’t think anyone else is too bothered. Suffice to say, here I am again. This year has been both busy and bare. There’s somehow Things going on, while I’m simultaneously getting through each day as it comes. Some are better than others. Another strange dichotomy/paradox/oxymoron is that I’ve been feeling both disconnected from my spirituality and yet slipping deeper at odd moments. I ..read more

I’m not a summer person. I never have been. Growing up (mostly) near the beach, I love the sea and shore, but being a pale English lass, I’m either white or red. Anything above Factor 15 didn’t exist then. Tans were cool. So I stayed in with my books. Last year was particularly difficult. I nearly passed out several times when in the heat for too long. I also have trouble finding a hat that fits my (apparently larger than average) head. So I’m staying in with my books again, aside from walking the dogs for brief stints, because a) they’re older now and b) they’re not heat-lovers either, due to ..read more

Today started with a trigger. I didn’t see it coming, but was suddenly thrust back in time to… well, a difficult situation.  My day was spent recovering, trying to figure how to deal with such a thing, but also how to pull myself back to Myself. For me, triggers feel like I’m under someone else’s control (again). I’m helpless in the flow of emotion and reaction.  I’ve been – consciously and unconsciously – trying to find My Things for years, after the original incidents that broke me. And while I’m still trying, I’ve a better idea of what they are. Is this Thing mine, or in my life b ..read more

Time moves on and this country takes another turn… possibly backwards. I feel so tired and helpless, but then I ask myself what I can do. I can write. I can speak. I can keep doing those things, even if my words get banned (as this blog already is in China). I can stand. I can put my money where my mouth is, walk the talk, however you wish to phrase it. Or I can sit and refuse to move. I’m quite solid like that. I can question. Ask why? Demand explanations, accountability. Point out the cruelty of systems that consist only of red tape. Note the encroaching litigation against protest. I can pub ..read more

The urge to tell a story rises… Years ago, when I was starting to explore the Pagan path in earnest, I remember finding a spell that I wanted to perform. I can’t remember what it was, but suspect it was to help me learn more as I stepped forward. To actually Do Some Magic. I headed into the nearest town with a witchy shop; then found most of the items I needed in cheap homewares stores. I remember lemon candles, which have always had particular associations since (and have become oddly hard to find). Some herbs, coloured cloth. I also can’t remember where I found the spell list, but know it mu ..read more

This is a personal one. I’m writing fast, on my phone, before my brain weasels realize what’s going on. It’s been a hard time recently. Some of you know, but since I got told my diagnosis of CPTSD (which was apparently on file for a while all unknowing), I’ve finally found an excellent therapist and am figuring things out. Healing is happening and it is good. BUT. The mental health Badness has been shoring up defenses in an effort to fight back, on its mission to tell me what an awful person I am. I know it’s irrational – but it’s also very loud sometimes. The reason I’ve been doing so little ..read more

Twenty years ago, me and some friends bagged a ride to our nearest multiplex to watch a new werewolf movie. We arrived late and had no idea what to expect. For the rest of that year (and beyond), we were quoting this film constantly. Someone would start whistling the ‘marching’ theme and others would join in. I bought both UK and US copies of the DVD because they have different – absolutely hilarious – commentaries. Cut to today. Another lady writer with equal (ok, maybe a bit more) enthusiasm had the idea of writing an anniversary tribute to that movie. Here it is. I was lucky enough to make ..read more

I stare at my screen. Again. What do I say? It’s been an age, and the words haven’t been coming. But today, something tells me to write. Lately, I’ve been listening to the stories of those who normally go unheard. Folks who aren’t white, aren’t heterosexual, aren’t rich. Folk whose voices are silenced despite how hard they try to speak. I remember being in that place once. I see the world right now, and I wonder how we reached this point. I think back to my school-days. Were we ever taught to think for ourselves? There’s a vague memory of having to write about our skills, but not much more. We ..read more

‘Litany of Dreams’ by Ari Marmell The Devourer Below’ by Josh Reynolds; Evan Dicken; Davide Mana; Georgina Kamsika; Thomas Parrott; David Annandale; Cath Lauria ‘Cult of the Spider Queen‘ by SA Sidor ‘The Deadly Grimoire‘ by Rosemary Jones I’ve spoken of my enjoyment with Aconyte Books’ Lovecraftian offerings previously, but as they’re now coming in thick and fast, I thought a joint review was in order! First, ‘Litany of Dreams’. While the early Arkham books stayed firmly in that sinister town, Ari Marmell heads further afield, to explore how the insidious darkness of the Great Old Ones sprea ..read more

‘Start writing…’ Thankyou, WordPress. That’s a great help. That instruction is actually a good one, but it’s easier to do when I just let my brain move my fingers without too much inbetween. Let’s see how this goes. I haven’t written about Druidry for a while. There’s a reason for this. I’ve often said that labels frustrate me, but that ‘druid’ is the closest to what I actually do, in terms of practice, belief, etc. That’s kind of still true… but also it’s never been wrong-er (BA English Lit, a passport to ruining the English language with impunity). I’ve been peeling back layers over recent m ..read more