Monkey hunters accidentally shoot tranquilizer into woman who reported rogue ape   They missed the target by a few million years of evolution. A monkey hunting mission backfired spectacularly after a bumbling gunman accidentally shot a woman with a tranquilizer dart — knocking her out for an hour. The comedy of errors was set in motion after reports surfaced of a Japanese macaque — also known as a snow monkey — lurking near Fujikawa Station in Fuji City, Shizuoka Prefecture, SoraNews24 reported. In response, the city hall dispatched three municipal employees and one simian-hunting special ..read more

Florida man arrested for trying to buy 8-year-old girl for $100,000   A Florida sex offender was arrested after he allegedly tried to “purchase” an 8-year-old girl for $100,000 at a grocery store, police said. Hellmuth Kolb, 85, approached the child’s mom at a Winn Dixie in Port Orange Thursday and made the indecent proposal, according to the Port Orange Police Department. Kolb was on probation and was banned from having contact with children after trying to buy a different child in Walmart in 2018, according to WESH-TV. Lauren Benning told the station she thought Kolb was just a lonely o ..read more

Nightclub bans ‘staring’ without ‘verbal consent’ in new ‘woke’ policy   The days of checking someone out at a club are over. An Australia nightclub said it will remove people who are caught staring at someone without that person’s consent. Club 77 in Sydney included unwanted attention from strangers in its updated “zero-tolerance policy” on harassment. The venue posted the woke update on its Instagram account, saying the club is “not a place to come to if your sole purpose is to ‘pick up.’ ” “As a nightclub, we encourage you to interact with strangers, however any engagement MUST begin w ..read more

‘World’s most extravagant’ vibrator among stolen items in Texas sex shop heist   A naughty trio swiped more than $58,000 worth of sex toys from a Texas shop — including “the world’s most extravagant” Swarovski crystal-encrusted vibrator, according to the store. The racy, broad-daylight heist happened June 30 at Sexology Institute in San Antonio, with surveillance video catching the creeps breaking into the front door, then filling bags with sex toys, lubricants and lingerie before bolting in a truck. “We came in to empty racks,” Sexology Institute manager Jasper St. James told the San Ant ..read more

Skunk sprays church robbery suspect Grant M. Simonson moments before arrest Whoever smelt it, dealt it. A suspected church burglar in Washington state got a smelly sendoff after a skunk sprayed him just before his arrest last week, authorities said. The incident happened around 3:10 a.m. Thursday when deputies responded to a reported burglary in progress at the Church of the Nazarene in Deer Park, the Spokane County Sheriff’s Office said Tuesday. The caller told deputies that a male wearing a mask over his face and holding a flashlight was seen on a surveillance live feed w ..read more

Man in China arrested for marrying off underage, mentally disabled daughter to 3 different men for money     The father, surnamed Xie, from Lianyuan Hunan province, sold his daughter Tingting to receive bride payments. He claimed that his daughter was over 20 years old, although she was born in January 2005. Tingting first got engaged to a man in 2018 when she was under 14 years old. In 2019, she was engaged to a man, surnamed Chen, in his 30s. She had just turned 14, although Xie kept her true age a secret. The matchmaker who brought the two together stated that she was “18 years ol ..read more

Mom gets revenge on nosy neighbors using ‘drug-addled whores and drunks’ She made dummies out of them. A Michigan mom got the ultimate revenge on her nosy, spying neighbors — by adorning her garden with maniacal mannequins dressed as “drug-addled whores, drunks and accident victims” to give prying eyes something to stare it. Photos of her dummy security system are currently going viral as fans praise her ingenious method of exacting vengeance. “I just set up the poses and laugh,” Flint native Tammy Zuniga told Kennedy News of her hilarious hobby. Indeed, the 45-year-old nurse’s lawn is littere ..read more

Transgender cheerleader booted from camp denies physical altercation A transgender cheerleader kicked out of a Texas college camp for allegedly choking a teammate has denied that there was any physical altercation, claiming that she was booted from the team based solely on a dad’s “assumptions.” Averie Chanel Medlock, 25, insisted that her side of the story wasn’t heard before she was slapped with a criminal citation and kicked off her cheer team for allegedly assaulting another cheerleader on July 21 at Ranger College. “I was kicked off the team for assumptions, because of the dad’s assumptio ..read more

Woman who was seeking street justice revenge on an ex boyfriend lit his house ablaze, but only after the home owner came out did she realize it was the wrong house. A mother, daycare owner and wife to a retired police officer shot her husband three times after she confronted him about sexually assaulting children that were trusted in her care. Monkeys have been running rampant all over Yamaguchi, a Japanese city two hours west of Hiroshima.  The local government has had enough of the residents being attacked by the fifteen pound primates, so they've sent out a death squad of trained monke ..read more

A Florida man drove a stolen truck to Space Force in Brevard County, and he says it was on President Biden's orders.  He stated he was there to stop a war between Chinese dragons and extraterrestrial beings. God Speed Sir.   A chess playing robot was playing against a seven year old boy when the robot "mistakenly" broke the boys finger.  The manufacturer behind the AI robot said "It was a one in a million event."  We all know the truth.  Robots are poor sports.   A French "exhibitionist" was trying to get an even tan on a nude beach by pleasuring himself while lur ..read more