Your Feelings Are Not Always The Facts
Alyssa Scolari LPC | Light After Trauma Blog
by alyssascolari
1w ago
One of the most important takeaways from 2022, for myself and many others, has been this: Your feelings are NOT always the facts.  This is one of the more challenging concepts to learn on your path to healing – at least it certainly was for me. When you struggle with anxiety, depression, PTSD, eating disorders, OCD, or any other mental health disorder, we often (or sometimes all day long) have these intense feelings that cause us to believe things that simply aren’t true. For example, if you’re battling depression, you might go to sleep every night feeling hopeless and unworthy of love a ..read more
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Listening to Your Body: Intuitive Eating
Alyssa Scolari LPC | Light After Trauma Blog
by alyssascolari
7M ago
Last week we talked about Poodle Science and the importance of accepting our bodies at every shape and size. One of the techniques that I mentioned that I use for eating disorder treatment with my clients is intuitive eating. Diet Culture Perspective Usually by the time I begin working with eating disorder clients, they have gained an unhealthy perspective on food. This perspective usually comes from family, friends, media, and diet culture. My clients view certain foods as good and other ones as bad. According to their perspective, the only way to be “healthy” is to follow a strict diet. Thi ..read more
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Poodle Science: Accepting Who We Are
Alyssa Scolari LPC | Light After Trauma Blog
by alyssascolari
7M ago
Hey Everyone, after a year long hiatus, I am back. I’ll be sharing stories, tips, and other useful information that will hopefully leave you a bit better off than when you started reading this blog. So, on with the show. Diet Culture Did you know that the diet industry is a $70 billion, that’s billion with a B, industry? Did you also know that 95% of diets fail? I’ll let that sink in for a second! People spend more than $70 billion in a year on a product that will fail more than 95% of the time! Would you buy a car that wouldn’t work 95% of the time, a house that had a 95% chance of collapsin ..read more
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I Escaped With My Life
Alyssa Scolari LPC | Light After Trauma Blog
by alyssascolari
1y ago
It has been eight years…. ….eight years since I packed all my bags, scoured the room for my keys, and made my way down the stairs and into the foyer, much against the loud opinions of the people around me. I pushed aside the man who stood in my way, the one who told me I’d never be okay out there on my own, the one who told me everyone I know and love is dangerous and that I need to be careful. As he stood in front of the door telling me I couldn’t go, I felt myself flooding with rage. As tired as I was, as hurt as I was, as sick as I was, I mustered up every ounce of strength I had and looke ..read more
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Lessons From The Skaneateles Lake
Alyssa Scolari LPC | Light After Trauma Blog
by alyssascolari
1y ago
The COVID-19 pandemic has made me forget part of the reason why I love traveling so much – the unexpected lessons, the character sculpting, and the major moments of insight and awareness that come from being in a completely different place.  This past weekend, David and I finally got to go away together to a place neither of us had ever even heard of: Skaneateles, NY. We’ve heard of the Finger Lakes, but we had never heard of specifically the Skaneateles Lake/Town. I cannot say enough great things about this town! It was both stuck in the past and way ahead of its time in all the best w ..read more
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Chameleon
Alyssa Scolari LPC | Light After Trauma Blog
by alyssascolari
1y ago
I really wish that we were talking about Pascal, the chameleon from Rapunzel. He is one of my favorite Disney characters! Has anybody ever discovered a stuffed animal Pascal? I’ve looked high and low but cannot find one anywhere! So if you know where I can buy one, please let me know. Clearly it’s a very urgent matter!  But I digress. What I really want to talk about today are the human versions of chameleons – those whose thoughts, beliefs, and opinions can change depending on their environment. Pete Walker, author of Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, first coined the term “fawn ..read more
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The Loss of the Living Part 2: Does Time Really Heal Us?
Alyssa Scolari LPC | Light After Trauma Blog
by alyssascolari
1y ago
A few months ago, I sat down with a new client who had just been deeply traumatized and was in a state of crisis. “What do I do?” she asked. “How do I make the pain stop? Why did this happen? I’ll never get through this, I just know it!” Immediately the old adage “time heals all wounds” came to mind. I carefully chose to take that saying, open up the metaphorical garbage bin in my head, and throw it right the hell out. Lord knows, the last thing my grieving client needed at that moment was to hear me say “give it time.” She felt like her whole world was crumbling. A traumatized person doesn’t ..read more
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“I’m So OCD About It.”
Alyssa Scolari LPC | Light After Trauma Blog
by alyssascolari
1y ago
**Trigger Warning** I am quite guilty about having talked like this in the past: “I’m so OCD about it.” About what? How clean I like my house to be, how I organize my closet, etc. I can even recount many times at the gym where I would be in the middle of a fitness class – God forbid the instructor accidentally lost her place and we ended up doing 11 kettlebell swings with the right hand and 10 kettlebell swings with the left hand. I’d be the first to say out loud: “Oh my gosh, we’re uneven, we have to do one more one this side – I’m so OCD about it!” A lot of us do this, but as I got older an ..read more
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Intuitive Eating and a Smack in the Face
Alyssa Scolari LPC | Light After Trauma Blog
by alyssascolari
1y ago
When it comes to my intuitive eating journey, I have been so gosh darn proud of myself lately. In fact, two days ago I said to my husband how drastically different our lives are now that I’m not obsessed with food, micromanaging how much salt he puts in meals, asking him to hide cookies from me so I don’t binge, forbidding there to be any ice cream in the house, and, most upsetting of all, bursting into tears after every meal because I hated the feeling of being “full.” Today, we have a minimum of 3-4 pints of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream in the house at all times and we eat it whenever we want ..read more
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You’re Not Listening!
Alyssa Scolari LPC | Light After Trauma Blog
by alyssascolari
1y ago
No one likes it when they feel as though they aren’t being heard. For me, over the years, not being heard has become a debilitating trigger. Sometimes it feels like all I do is scream at the top of my lungs and people don’t seem to hear me – especially when it comes to my health. I have known for months, if not years, that something is wrong with me. But because of my history of trauma and because of my weight, I typically get one of two responses from doctors, therapists, etc.: “It’s the trauma! Your body is holding so much pain.” “It’s your weight. You’d feel better if you worked out a lit ..read more
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