Expert tips for enhancing sexual desire in long-term relationships Why does desire often fade in long-term relationships? What gets in the way of feeling sexual desire towards your partner in a long-term relationship or marriage (even when you still find them attractive)? And what are tips to cultivate more sexual desire? I sat down (over Zoom) with Sarah Regan at mindbodygreen to talk through all of these questions and get into the nitty gritty of sexual desire. There are a lot of misunderstandings around desire, pleasure, and needs, and I offered 5 tips to help couples move through sexual d ..read more

For awhile, research studies have found that individuals in a relationship who are kinder and more forgiving to themselves are happier and more satisfied in their relationships. But does that also make their partners or spouses ALSO happier or more satisfied in their relationship? On Valentine’s Day, I zoomed into the studios at Good Day Chicago to speak about a new research study on this topic. I shared what self-compassion is and is not, what forms of self-compassion are most impactful to both partners in a relationship, and (since it was on the day of love), what you can intentionally do t ..read more

It’s not uncommon in long-term relationships for one person to want to work on their relationship, while the other one doesn’t. And at time stamps like the new year and anniversaries, this may feel particularly frustrating. As part of my ongoing “How to Have Hard Conversations” series, I answer a question about this topic and offer some languaging to use when bringing up this concern with your reluctant partner or spouse. This is my 18th video of this “How to Have Hard Conversations” series. If you’d like to follow this series online, follow me on Instagram or TikTok. -Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus — In ..read more

NY Post illustration from this article: https://nypost.com/2023/11/17/lifestyle/more-than-half-of-gen-z-want-open-relationships-study/ More than any prior generation, Generation Z seems to embrace sex positivity — that is, embracing sexual variety and various relationship forms. This includes BDSM, casual sex, and polyamory (or consensual non-monogamy). As long as the people involved are adults and consenting, Gen Z is less likely to judge their choices and actions. But while Gen Z seems to be more sex-positive and open-minded, they seem to be more relationship-negative…at least in the way th ..read more

“You Americans are so self-involved and rude,” the Parisian said to me from behind his counter. He could have been plucked from the "indignant French hotelier" category from central casting.  My eyes widened and my cheeks grew hot.  I was 28 years old and in Paris for the first time. I had celebrated the 2001 New Year with my graduate school friends, but most of them had already flown back to the States. Consequently, I found myself one afternoon exploring Paris on my own. I had little experience being alone in a foreign-speaking country. I didn’t have a cell phone or navigatio ..read more

Give yourself permission at Halloween (and always!) to try on a new character. I have always loved Halloween and the excuse to dress up in a costume. This photo is from a party earlier this month with the theme of Glam Rock. This idea of dressing in costume and trying on a new character is related to my work in the intimacy and relationship field in multiple ways. The most obvious is “role-playing,” when individuals in a couple each take on a new personality or characteristics so to enhance their desire, passion, fun, and creativity (e.g., being dominant or submissive, meeting at bar and maki ..read more

Why does sexual empowerment matter for women? How did I get started on this career path? I was recently interviewed by DatingNews.com about my sexual empowerment work and career path, and what messages are most important for women to learn about their bodies, sexual expression, and self-worth. They dove into how I got started in this field and why, and what teachings I still think are most important today. You can read the beginning of the article below; here’s a link to the entire article. “The Scoop: Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D., aka Dr. Jenn, is a sociologist and intimacy coach with over two ..read more

May is National Masturbation Month! However, back in March, I had the opportunity to deliver a talk on masturbation at San Diego State University. The event was organized by the Student for Public Health club and was open to any student interested, although we had to limit attendance to 100 students because we had 100 free vibrators to distribute to the attendees! The talk was titled “Give Yourself a Hand,” and I offered the tagline: “Exploring Masturbation, Self-Pleasure, & Creativity.” Typically, when I'm invited to speak to college students, they request heavier topics related to redu ..read more

Do you know what it *feels* like to experience gratitude? I mean really feel it in your body? Are you familiar with the sensations of warmth in your chest, an expansive feeling, and how it can bring a sense of openness and lightness? If you have a minute right now, take a few deep belly breaths, close your eyes, and think of someone or something that you’re particularly proud of right now, someone you admire, a situation that brought you joy recently, or a happening you really appreciate. It can be helpful to put a hand on your chest to focus on that area and enhance a warm feeling. Did you f ..read more

Are there topics or needs that matter to you in your relationship that you’re not able to bring up and discuss in a productive way… so you avoid them? Does your partner or spouse voice topics, maybe sometimes in anger, that matter to them but not to you, so you downplay them and don’t discuss in detail? Has it been a long time since you sat down with your spouse and talked about your needs, desires, fears, and future goals? These topics — whether emotional needs, requests for more time together, wanting to feel more appreciated, planning for your future, parenting styles, feeling respected, h ..read more