Ugh. Another Valentine’s Day. What if you KNEW this would be your last Valentine’s Day as a single woman? The last one spent with “me, myself, and I,” with a pack of single girlfriends or alone on your couch? How would that change how you interact, what you choose to do, and how you feel about this “Singles Awareness Day?” If I had known that Valentine’s Day 2006 was going to be my last as a single woman, here is what I might have done instead of grumbling about how stupid it was and feeling somehow “less-than” as I ate dinner and drank wine alone at home. I would have: Gone out with my sing ..read more

Since I specialize in helping women over 40 find love, clients often ask about dating a widower. Is it a waste of time? Should I proceed with caution? Is it a losing proposition? And my answer may surprise you: Widowers are some of the best, most eligible, grownup men out there. One of the most important things I help women with is becoming good pickers – you know, being able to spot the gems even when they’re not the obvious, shiny ones. Having a good picker means not only that you learn how to spot and avoid the jerks, but even more importantly, that you don’t miss the really good guys. The ..read more

This time of year is spectacular. Or not. Yes, we get to eat more, work less, shop till we drop, and frolic with friends and family. Also, it’s a time of reflection; and as we count our blessings, we may think about what’s missing in our otherwise fulfilled lives. Especially if we are single. When I was single, the holidays put me in a bit of a funk. With no one to take to parties or make out with at midnight, being single during the holidays put an exclamation point on what I still wanted in my life: a loving man. Now I’m married and grateful to have a magnificent man in my life. But as I ta ..read more

Whoa…are you thinking of dating after divorce? I’m guessing that your feelings are running from “this is a little daunting” to “this is downright unthinkable…what the f*@k am I thinking?” Maybe the idea of doing that man-thing again seems akin to putting your hand on a hot stove. Why the hell would you do that again, right? Well, because love rocks. Humans thrive on affection and intimacy. It’s what we need. (Yes, I said need. We need to love and be loved.) So what if this time around you actually know how to turn the fire off before you place your hand on the stove? What if you knew the step ..read more

He ghosted you. You went on a date or two or three. You liked him, and he seemed into you. Then, without warning…no return texts, no calls, he even blocked you on Facebook. That bastard. Welcome to a very large club of smart women who thought they might had finally met The One…but didn’t. There aren’t stats for us, but an astonishing 78% of millennials have been ghosted. It’s the modern-day collateral damage of dating. It sucks. Okay. Read this very carefully… It. Is. NOT. About. You. You are not in control of getting ghosted, girlfriend. It happens to the best of us. (Like me. Countless tim ..read more

Why do so many successful women over 40 stay single? While we do so well in all other parts of our lives, why can the romantic part seem to be packed with challenges and drama? Pegi Burdick, a dear old friend and coaching client of mine, gives you her personal and professional take. A little about Pegi, my guest today: I experienced my own personal financial crisis that led me to discover how people’s feelings about themselves can impact their financial choices. Out of my journey, the Financial Whisperer Coaching Series was born. To work with me is to take a deep dive into your complicated ..read more

Are you still thinking that dating mature men is the same as dating those boys you used to date? I have a question for you:  When you look at yourself today, are you the same person you were in your 20s or 30s? Have many of your priorities changed? Has experience taught you new life skills and shifted your perspective on things you previously held as absolute truth? And what about when it comes to dating and relationships? Have you updated your “checklist” for the 55-year-old men you are dating; choosing not to judge them like you did 35-year-olds? Have you learned that your worth is far ..read more

Continuing from my last two posts, a great way to meet men is to use online dating. When you meet for the first time after connecting online, though, it’s just a meeting; it’s not dating. Some of these online dating first date meetings will turn into dates, and then some dates into relationships. Gotta love online dating, right? (It’s how I met my husband!) But this succession will only take place if you get past the meet-date. During your meet-date, put your absolute best foot forward. Forget about telling him your life story or that one thing about you that he may not like. (Better he ..read more

Your online dating first dates are great opportunities for you! Though they aren’t really dates at all. Continuing from my last post, when you’re connecting with men using online dating, if you remember nothing else, remember this: When you meet for the first time after connecting online, it’s just meeting; it’s not dating. I have 10 Tips to Help You Get Past the Meet-Date to the Real Date. Here are Steps #4- #7. (Click here to see Steps 1 and here to see 3.) 4. You don’t know him. Until you spend time with him, you cannot know his character, his values, or how he would make you feel in ..read more

Ah…you’ve connected with a man on Match.com, Bumble, eharmony.com or one of the other zillions of ways, and it’s time for your first date. When it comes to online dating first dates, you need to know an important truth: Online dating first dates are not really dates. Whaaat?? I love the idea of women using online dating to meet men. I met the love of my life on Match.com. So, of course, I sing its praises whenever I can. Now, as a dating and relationship coach for women over 40, my clients are all using online dating or apps to varying degrees of success. Pamela’s lovely beau is the first man ..read more