Why do we start close relationships and love connections feeling one way... only to watch them disintegrate, become survival-based, and turn into "resentment"? Let's walk through the easiest explanation ever told; pulling in our Internal Family Systems education to discuss the greatest relational obstacle of them all. Looking for a lot more relational talk? Good news! It's been the theme of 2023 over on the private stream. Check this month's special triple research episode release and get all the extra resources, no matter how you subscribe. See you there, and cheers, Fuckers! MFJess --- Sen ..read more

The perfect email to reflect the topic of the month - needing to understand our own unconscious brains before we set them loose on others - is here! Let's hear from a young listener out of Ohio (sorry) who asks about the continual feeling of "wrongness" that's been birthed from {TW} childhood sexual abuse, and all the ways it's ruined ongoing attempts to recreate their life and relationships. Plus, what this Muff suggests you can do about it, on a SUB-C level. Check t-mfrs.com for the transcript to this episode, if you've got similar work to do (hint: we all do). And hit up all those shows me ..read more

So we're littered with vulnerability and trust issues... and plenty of recentish events can dominate our reasoning about "why." But really, those interpersonal shuttdown instincts likely started a lot earlier. We carry unseen wounds from decades ago that stack up to create sky-high obstacles to human connection, which get validated down the line to form solid fucked up core beliefs about ourselves vs. the human species. Today, we're hearing the story of a MF like you, reflecting on an early toddlerdom experience with The Woman Who Raised Her that would logically lay the groundwork for future w ..read more

We MFs struggle to begin or maintain healthy relationship dynamics, with a lot of externalized finger pointing about why. "Abusers just flock to me." But the truth is, the abuse recreation is mutual and it all starts in the place we attempt to willfully ignore - inside ourselves, within our preferred and hated personality aspects. Let's talk about acquisition of conscious and unconscious identities that fuck up our relational attempts equally. The ways Protective, Exiled, and Distractive brain programs inject chaos and abuse into our connections. And why we first need to get vulnerable, intima ..read more

You wrote, I do my best to answer! Today's Q: "Your episodes trigger the fuck out of me, therapy is going to do the same.... so how do I keep up my hyper-functionality while the emotional tides rage?" My A: I wish "do yoga about it" worked across the board. But it don't, so let's approach this from another direction. Talking Manager vs. Exile parts, Self reliance, and making external changes so we can do internal work. Gotta question of your own? Send em to traumatizedmotherfxckers@gmail.com Looking for the society-scorning episodes and self-management episodes I mentioned throughout? Find em ..read more

Why don't we sign up for close connections anymore? Especially after learning about our CPTSD patterns? It's an episode pulled from the private Fort! Let's talk about relationship hangups from an experiential standpoint, integrating what we've heard from the research with real life brain operations to demystify disorganized feelings about closely connecting with others. Check out ⁠⁠t-mfrs.com⁠⁠ for more info and blogged transcripts of each public episode. To help yourself help yourself, while also helping this project to support MFs round the world, hit patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers fo ..read more

"So how do you feel about relationships?  Complicated?  You want them? You despise them? You fear them? You long for them? You try them? You exit them rapidly? Or you try to? You get stuck in them? And haunted by cycles of unfulfillment?" Today, let's talk about the obstacles we face when considering relationships or landing ourselves in them. The ways we attempt to protect ourselves from them. Why shallow, distanced relationships plague PTSD sufferers. And how vulnerability, intimacy, and trust are necessary foundations for our long-term healing. For the full conversation on VIT i ..read more

My inbox collects a lot of stories and questions... and I think they'd be put to better use anonymously shared with the whole crew. Let's dip into some listener feedback and questions today, asking "Do I have CPTSD?" "How do I understand my partner better?" and "How do I cope in this relationally destabilizing time?" Wanna get your own recorded feedback? Submit your message at t-mfrs.com or traumatizedmotherfxckers@gmail.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message ..read more

So you're doing your damndest to be "your best self." Maybe you're confident and comfortable in your identity these days. But, at the same time, you still find that self-condemnation is a big part of your day to day. Why?  Let's talk about self-judgment taking place on subconscious levels. How your identities mask the ongoing self-loathing that created them. And how to heal that shit, once and for all. Up for making big changes? Get started with us at patreon.com/traumatizedmotherfuckers --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message ..read more

Today, sharing a mini essay I wrote for another platform, where controversial perspectives are the topic of conversation. In so much of this "trauma recovery game" we're inspired to hunker down against past patterns. But is that really healing? Want more Traumatized Motherfuckers? Join the Patreon to get hundreds of past episodes, weekly releases, and a part in supporting this DIY show. Or find more info on the project at t-mfrs.com. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/complextrauma/message ..read more