"I’m getting a boner — what’s she going to think??" So begins the conflict for a lot of boys and men have around their cock. From a young age -- basically from the time boners start to be a thing, "It’s like a lot of men are constantly tracking, ‘Am I having an erection and if I do, how do I hide it?’" The thing is, hiding and secrets go hand-in-hand, and they generally don't go anywhere good. The fact is, especially during teenage years, boners aren't even always about turn-on. As one man put it, "NRBs are a thing!" (No Reason Boners). We're on a streak here talking about how to overcome sexu ..read more

Did you grow up with a religious background? Then congrats, you likely experienced sexual shame! Perhaps you still do to this day. The truth is, it's deeply confusing to grow up having completely natural sexual urges, but be told you're bad or wrong for having them. In the words of the panelists: "For a long time I thought, 'What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I get over this?'" "I was taught, 'Don’t touch, don’t look, don’t think, don’t act.'" "As a teenager I thought, 'I’m going to go to hell and there’s no way to get around it.'" Here, a panel of four men, three of whom grew up in the Church ..read more

"Needing space within a love relationship is crucial for maintaining my identity ... It’s not merely about taking a break; it’s about preserving a sense of self that can slowly wither in the absence of such space." So says one of our clients, eloquently speaking to the need and also the cost of not getting space when it's required. Here we discuss both sides of the need for space -- what it's like to need it (and how to ask for it), as well as what it's like when a partner names that need. It can be confronting or even scary when a partner needs space, especially if we have a fear of abandonme ..read more

When you were a boy, did you feel comfortable being your full self? Did you feel at ease around becoming a man -- like you knew what that meant and smoothly moved into that identity? We live in a world where boys and young men often feel like it's not safe to be themselves, and where it can be confusing to grow into manhood. According to Nat Damon, who runs Reach Academy for Young Men, "what boys need is to be seen and heard." And for boys who need healthy role models in terms of what it means to be a mature, healthy man, places like Reach are lifelines. Reach Academy gives boys a place to lea ..read more

What if you could read about the sex that affected someone so profoundly they were never the same? What if you wrote about the sex that changed you in that way? If you're turned on by audio porn, ASMR, or sexy stories (either reading them or them being read to you), you're not alone. While we seem to be fixated on men being obsessed with visual porn, according to research nearly one in three listeners of erotic audiobooks are men. According to another poll, men now account for 18% of romance readers. This is a good thing for several reasons, including the fact that so much romance is written b ..read more

"As men, it often feels like we should just know how to succeed in a relationship, how to be great in bed, how to be successful in life, all under the counterintuitive expectation that we figure it all out on our own and never ask for help." Part of our my intention with this podcast is to help men succeed in sex, dating, and relationships with women. And a large part of the gap that I seek to fill is due to exactly what this client of ours shared -- the unfair and often unnamed expectation that men should "just know." You shouldn't! It's totally normal to not know. And in my opinion (and that ..read more

A lot of our clients crave more intimacy or closeness with their wife/relationship partner. Often this includes a longing, or a sense of something missing. As Lucas, our guest here, put it, "The feeling I recall most strongly was a sense of loneliness." Have you ever felt lonely in your relationship? If you’ve wished you and your partner were closer, or yearned for a breakthrough but didn’t know quite how to get there, you’re going to want to listen to this. Psychedelics like MDMA, LSD, and psilocybin (the active component in magic mushrooms) are in the process of being re-legalized. And for g ..read more

Would you ever consider using a matchmaker? In a world of dating apps (and let's be real -- those are rough for a LOT of people!), not to mention a whole lotta ghosting, matchmaking is an appealing notion for many. Plus, matchmakers play a unique role in that they speak to both parties, before and after dates. They're able, therefore, to give people honest feedback about how they're coming across, and help them make adjustments. Here I chat with Anika, a matchmaker for Three Day Rule, about how we can all get more honest in dating. We also talk about how men and women differ when it comes to t ..read more

This episode is pulled from the podcast Ask Women, where I myself was the guest! We delve into my sex research here, in which I asked over 1,065 women about the men who were best in bed. But this isn't just about finding the clit. It's a deeper conversation about how to talk about difficult subjects. Why is hard to talk about what we actually like or want in sex? Why is it so hard for a woman to tell a man that something isn't working sexually? It's actually the same reason it's hard to tell a colleague that something they do bothers you. If you want a woman to open to you sexually, and make s ..read more

Polarity can help you have a hot sex & dating life, not to mention a stronger love relationship overall. And like many things in life, it's not a perfect concept; there are issues with it. "In what ways have you found polarity to be useful in your sex and relationship life? In what ways have you found it to be off or problematic?" I posed these questions to our clients in an effort to help shine a light on the problems with polarity. I believe polarity can be hugely helpful in understanding sexual attraction and heat, as well as trust and fulfillment, in both short- and long-term relations ..read more