A few days following my last post seeking advice on how to manage visitation with a narcissistic grandmother, I was comforted by this message exchange. All good, however, I still felt the need to properly address this matter, and restore peace in the family. I put together a cover letter and drafted visitation guidelines. The objective of these guidelines is to ensure visits are allowed in a manner that promotes a positive healthy environment for the children. Cover Letter Dear XXX, From the date of your arrival until recently, I have not mentioned your grandmother, not a single word. Word t ..read more

Very Frustrated, ADVICE PLEASE! After 3yrs, my mother dropped my two teenage kids on my doorstep with no notice whatsoever, and left without saying a word. Initially, I was delighted they were finally back, however, I now find myself extremely frustrated and looking for some advice. To begin, there have always been just 4 “big ticket” items that I have accused my mother of (see “Back To The Big Picture” post). In summary: Fraudulently claiming to be the children’s legal guardian for the purpose of having USD$8,000 for which she has no legal entitlement, diverted to her personal bank account ..read more

What is a toxic grandparent? A toxic grandparent has an over-inflated ego, a pathetic need for validation, and a tragic lack of empathy for other people’s feelings. This need includes people closest to them—their own family. As a culture, we place importance on having an extended family, and grandparents are a big part of that. Hell, I initiated my mother’s move into my home in pursuit of having one big happy extended family. Grandparents are often perceived as harmless old folks who love to spoil their grandchildren. However, toxic grandparents are not harmless! They are manipulative, co ..read more

Have you ever wondered what is Narcissistic Rage and what does it look like?  Narcissistic rage is a psychological construct that describes a reaction to narcissistic injury, which is conceptualized as a perceived threat to a narcissist’s self-esteem or self-worth. The model underlying the construct suggests that narcissistic injury occurs when a narcissist feels that their hidden, “true self” has been revealed. This may be the case when the narcissist experiences a “fall from grace”, such as when their hidden behaviors or motivations are revealed. They tend to la ..read more

Well, well, well…. The story is becoming much clearer with each passing day. I now understand why you felt that you did not need to discuss ongoing financial support for the children, how you can be living beyond your means in a $600,000 home, managing on a social security income of $2,000 (since Mr. Reitmeier did not leave you any money and you have no job)  and why you went into a narcissistic rage when I inquired about your tax filings and bank statements just as my Therapist predicted. She predicted that you would; Be unwilling to cooperate, and Either lash out with false accusations ..read more

Below is a detailed description of 28 attributes commonly associated with people who are evil. On Page 4 is an online assessment. Simply answer the 28 questions with “yes” or “no” and press “submit”. You will be given a score to determine if someone you are dealing with is evil. Many people like to believe that they are a good judge of character, but sadly, that’s not always the case. There’s nothing worse than finding out that someone you thought you could trust is apparently nothing like what you believed them to be. However, don’t fault yourself for not knowing because these people are ski ..read more

selected by Feedspot as one of the Top 5 Narcissistic Parents Blogs on the web. A Call For Help! Introduction There are several reasons for writing this blog; The therapeutic value that is derived from getting this off my chest and sharing it. A very close friend once told me that “a problem shared is a problem halved”. As I went through this experience, I found very little information available on the internet. I hope this blog will create a forum for others who have similar experiences to share, and together we will become stronger and get through such difficult times. To create ..read more

There must be thousands of people around the world that are victims of narcissistic abuse. Unfortunately, I was unaware of narcissism, which led to the extreme consequences detailed in my blog. I often think, had i only known earlier, I could have dealt with it before it damn near destroyed me. Can we develop a tool that helps potential victims with the early identification of narcissistic abuse, enabling them to deal with it a manner that minimizes the pain & suffering? The thought is that we could use all of our collective experiences to build “data sets” that would allow artificial int ..read more

Once you develop a deep understanding of how a narc operates, it is quite easy to out-maneuver them, exposing them for who they really are, as demonstrated in the summary below; Phuket Scorecard Proposed Way Forward •First & Foremost, you must agree to sit down like an adult and be prepared to have an honest discussion. •You must stop wasting everyone’s time with the hamster wheel tactics. You must accept the facts and stop denying what we all know is true and is supported by proper evidence. •This has proven to be a huge challenge in the past, there simply is no way forward without this ..read more

After 3 years, my 2 children are back in my home, and most importantly without my narc mother. It has been awhile since I added a new post, the reason being that I had gone “no contact” for a long period of time and therefore had nothing new to say. I had read several articles recommending “no contact” as an effective means of dealing with a narc. However, I always felt uncomfortable with this approach, this is just not me and I never thought I would do it. Everybody has a breaking point, and when my mother sent an email in a fit of narcisistic rage, stating that she regretted not having an a ..read more