But aren’t they all?  This one really came out of the blue for me.  I think it’s likely because it wasn’t discovered on my regular CT scan, and it wasn’t in a location that has ever been active before.  It was so unexpected for me that I don’t think I really was able to process that it was a recurrence.  I had been doing so well on the maintenance Avastin for two years so where did this come from?   The Start Of Recurrence #???   The way I count my recurrences this would be number six.  I count recurrences by – “Do I have to figure out treatment for th ..read more

I’ve said before that clinical trials gave me hope. Hope because there are new treatments being researched that have given me options outside of the standard of care chemotherapy. Not only have response rates been higher on the trials but the evolving science and knowledge that we now have about cancer allow scientists and doctors to beat cancer at its own game. I have been on have been Phase 1 and Phase 2 clinical trials. There are five different clinical trial phases. Click here to link to the National Institute of Health’s description of the different stages of a trial. There have been thre ..read more

  It’s not uncommon for cancer survivors to be live in fear of a recurrence when they finish treatment. Having a recurrence is the day that cancer survivors dread and, in some ways, anticipate. Living in fear and thinking about are two very different things though.   As a survivor, I can say that thoughts of recurrence have permanent residence in my brain. It’s just thoughts, not fear, about recurrence that isthere for me. I have had five recurrences so there’s no question that it’s a reality. Thoughts of recurrence are always a consideration and not just every three months when ..read more

Exciting News!   In addition to this blog, I am co-hosting a podcast with a fellow survivor. Alexis is the stepdaughter of a friend whom I met because of cancer but has quickly become a friend. Alexis is cervical cancer survivor too. The podcast is Woven Together – Conversations That Started With Cancer. Each of us has had a similar yet different experience which I think adds real value to the information we are able to share. Alexis, Woven Together Podcast Co-host and cervical cancer survivor In our first episode, we kick off the conversation about cancer by sharing more intimate detai ..read more

For years the words “battling” and “fighting” cancer have been uncomfortable to me. They seem so cliché. I recently read the post I did for MD Anderson’s Cancerwise publication written in 2016 where I talked about the terminology “battle”. Much of my discomfort with battling comes from my natural being as a lover, not a fighter. I prefer peace and harmony. However, cancer doesn’t resolve peacefully. It’s looking for a fight. cancer has no desire to sit down and negotiate. I use the words battling and fighting when talking about cancer journeys all the time. I’m uncomfortable every time but tho ..read more

I’m often asked for ideas about how to be helpful during a cancer diagnosis.  It’s usually around the time that the person’s friend or family member is starting treatment. There’s no one answer and there’s not an answer that’s right or wrong.   The first thing you need to know is they may not be acting like you would or think they should. Let them do it their way. If they need a pep talk here and there, go for it but don’t tell them what they should or shouldn’t be doing or how they should be feeling. That will get you nowhere. Fast.   Being “helpful” doesn’t consist of lecturin ..read more

My two sons have lived their lifetimes with cancer. At 23 and 19 they don’t know what it’s like to have a mom who doesn’t have cancer. Here’s what I did to help my sons and what I would consider doing differently while parenting through cancer. Parents Have Surgery All The Time The first time I was diagnosed with cancer my sons were four and two months old. I had my thyroid removed shortly after my second son, Ethan, was born to find out the nodules previously biopsied were cancerous.  That was scary but I didn’t know what I didn’t know. What I was hearing was that it was treatable and “i ..read more

Telling my family and friends has been one of the hardest things I have had to do, in some cases worse than grueling cancer treatments.   The first time I was diagnosed with cancer I didn’t realize the gravity of telling my family and friends about my diagnosis.  Maybe I was just in shock that I had cancer so all of it was a blur.   The first time I was diagnosed it seemed a little more transactional. Here are the facts, here’s the plan. Done.   The second time I was diagnosed it was a little scarier but also, here’s the plan, and then we move on.   Now It’s Getting Sc ..read more

Why do We Give cancer More Power Than It Deserves? If you Google “cancer patient” words like “stage 4”, “dying”, and “sad” are some of the first you see.  Wouldn’t it be great if the first words were “hope”, “survivor”, “research”? Why do we give cancer so much power? Maybe Google can work on the algorithm to accommodate my request!   There’s No Big c Here You may notice that I do not capitalize cancer in this blog.  If you find it capitalized blame it on chemo brain. I don’t think cancer is worthy of the power of a big c. cancer is not “The Big c” to me. It’s a worthy opponent ..read more

Why I Chose To Participate In A cancer Clinical Trial Let me start by saying I am not a medical professional.  I am a patient, and these are my opinions, not the opinions of anyone mentioned in this article.  Speaking to your doctor about your cancer clinical trial options is the first thing you should do. Learning about and participating in a clinical trial can have its challenges but it has proven lifesaving for me. cancer treatments are rapidly changing with advances in research. It gives me hope to know that there are scientists working to develop new options to fight cancer. &nb ..read more