#271: If you relate to my definition of emotional outsourcing tendencies, the thought of giving yourself true rest likely hasn’t crossed your mind in a hot minute. But have you ever wondered what it would be like to just call it and decide you’re not going to push through when your internal world is screaming for a break?   Tune in this week to hear the importance of befriending rest and the alternative to pushing through when your brain and body say no. I’m sharing a list of questions you can use to check in with yourself when you hear that internal nudge, and my favorite tools to borrow ..read more

#270: In a world where codependence and independence are posited as the only two options for how we can show up, you’re not alone if you feel a sense of tension in either way of being. Interdependence offers a healthy middle ground to these extremes, but what does interdependence actually look like, and how do we practice it?    Tune in to this episode to learn the differences between codependent relating and interdependence, and why interdependence in relationships feels so much better. I’m showing you what interdependence really looks like, both in relationship with yourself and ot ..read more

#269: There are a lot of things in the world right now that we could tell worried stories around, and our nervous systems jump to worry because they’re here to protect us. But the truth is, worry never accomplishes anything. Taking action, on the other hand, does.   If you want to get out of the habit of worrying and release your nervous system from this uncomfortable feeling, then today’s episode is for you. Tune in for a replay of one of our most valuable episodes where you’ll learn why worrying is always optional and I help you recognize where being stuck in the habit of worrying ..read more

#268: If you’ve been doing thought work for a while and have noticed yourself ruminating, or your thoughts moving into the land of self-criticism, you’re not alone. I've been there and so have many of my clients. Today, I want to offer a gentle reminder about the power of reconnecting to our physical bodies in our self development work.    In this episode, I’m sharing the reasons why our connection with our bodies’ deep intelligence is crucial as we learn to reclaim our presence and regulate our nervous systems. You’ll learn how to rebuild your somatic connection by honoring your bio ..read more

#267: Whether you find yourself moving through the world chronically offended, or know someone who does, taking things personally is super exhausting. Feeling criticized hurts, it keeps us out of presence, and it sows discord in all of our relationships. So why then do we do it? And how can we step out of this habit?   Join me this week to hear why you might be in the habit of taking things personally and how to stop. I’m showing you why taking things personally is a common survival tool for emotional outsourcers, how we unwittingly create drama when we take things personally, and remedie ..read more

#265: Something I hear quite often from folks is that while they feel really solid in their independence when they’re alone, their emotional outsourcing tendencies seem to suddenly get amplified as soon as they're in relationship, especially romantic relationship. Why does this happen?   Join me this week as I explore the crossfire between our independence and our almost desperate need to connect with and please others. I'll share some of the psychological factors at play that lead to a heightened sense of codependence and people-pleasing inside relationships and my favorite remedies ..read more

#263: We can’t end this month of love without touching on one of the most vital ways we sustain ourselves: platonic love. This week, I’m introducing you to several of my closest friends –  Suneye, Jules, and Juana – and we're exploring why our friendships are the perfect playground to practice healthy relating.    Join us as we discuss why you should consider who you’re keeping in your circles, the power of treating your friends like your most beloved family, and how to release the story that it’s hard to make friends as an adult.   Get full show notes and more information ..read more

#262: My guest this week has a story that is truly emblematic of what’s possible when you choose you. Like so many people in helping professions, Lashonda Payne was noticing some emotional outsourcing patterns in her life until she decided she needed support. By joining our Anchored community, almost-doctor Lashonda showed herself the power of self-love and unconditional care, and she’s offering the gifts that have come from doing this work on this episode.   Join us this week as Lashonda and I discuss why emotional outsourcing is a norm for people in helping professions, how this work ha ..read more

#261: I have the most special treat for you this week! I am finally and with so much pride introducing you to my wife, Billey Albina. There is so much in how Billey and I interact that demonstrates the full embodiment of living in interdependence, and I know that sharing about our relationship will be helpful for all of you who want to free yourselves from co-dependency and people-pleasing.   Tune in this week to hear Billey and I share about our love, our interdependence, and how we keep our relationship a safe and loving place for both of us. We walk through our six ground rules for fai ..read more

#260: For many of us folks raised as women with people-pleasing tendencies, receiving compliments can feel like danger in the body. Even when the person’s intention is good, it can still leave us feeling exposed and uncomfortable. To discuss why this happens and what we can do about it, I’m joined by my friend, Master-Certified Sex and Pleasure Coach Danielle Savory.    Danielle and I discuss why receiving compliments, attention, and care can sometimes feel uncomfortable, and the power of asking for and giving consent in these conversations. Tune in to learn what is happening somatic ..read more