"I don't need to be kind to the armies of night that would do such injustice to you Or bow down and be grateful and say, "Sure, take all that you see" To the men who move only in dimly-lit halls and determine my future for me" - Fleet Foxes, "Helplessness Blues" Hey folks, long time no see. Been up to much? I just wanted to point out that somewhere in the dark back halls of whatever Zoom enclave these people inhabit, the chairmen of twelve European football clubs managed to concoct an idea that made both Prince William and Boris Johnson wince and say, "Lads, that's a bit elitist". In som ..read more

10. Spurs (h) 1-0 : 2016/17 Premier League (Lanzini (65)) Them again.  In truth this was a situation not unlike the corresponding fixture the season before. As then, Spurs desperately needed to win in order to keep their title challenge alive, but for the downwardly mobile Hammers this was a game we had to win to secure our mathematical safety.  Someone in the Metropolitan Police obviously likes a bit of an atmosphere and agreed to schedule this game on a Friday night, meaning that the general air around the ground was what you might have imagined at a pre Agincourt barbecue. Fo ..read more

20. Chelsea (a) 3-2 : 2002/03 Premier League (Defoe (40), Di Canio (49, 84) - Hasselbaink (21 p), Zola (74)) In 2001, popular and populist manager Harry Redknapp was sacked by chairman Terry Brown and eventually replaced by lugubrious coach Glenn Roeder. Despite a drastically low set of expectations, Roeder steered us to a seventh place finish and in truth it looked like there were a lot of building blocks for the future. Youngsters Joe Cole, Michael Carrick and Jermain Defoe were emerging, Glen Johnson was on the way and England internationals Trevor Sinclair and David James were i ..read more

 30. Chelsea (h) 2-1 : 2015/16 Premier League (Zarate (17), Carroll (79) - Cahill (56)) The 2015/16 season remains a curiosity in the Premier League archives, largely because it took the unusual step of actually being interesting. Most West Ham fans look back upon the season as a great success as we marauded to 7th in the league behind the brilliant Dimitri Payet and generally played entertaining football that proved a stunning antidote to that produced by Sam Allardyce. Personally I felt it was a missed opportunity. Manager Slaven Bilic didn't seem to have much more tactical acume ..read more

 40. Derby (a) 5-0 : 2007/08 Premier League (Bowyer (42, 59), Etherington (51), Lewis (OG 55), Solano (69)) Any assessment of this game needs to acknowledge that this Derby County side was - quite literally - the worst to have ever played in the Premier League. They won one game all season, mustered just eleven points and generally played with all the natural athleticism and skill of the prison guards in Mean Machine.  That said, when we played them we had most of the first team out injured because it was November and that's the law, so the context was that Derby were pretty optimist ..read more

50. Cambridge United (h) 2-0 : 1992/93 Division 1 (Speedie (47), C Allen (90)) In a tremendously on brand turn of events, West Ham voted for the creation of the Premier League and then promptly got relegated before it could begin. So we begin our list of the best games of the Premier League era in the newly created Division 1. Excellent.  This was a slightly curious match for me, as I queued for the only time in my life to try and get into the South Bank on the day of its farewell. Perhaps unsurprisingly I was left locked out and ended up following this game through the medium of r ..read more

"And now there are no games To only pass the time" -  The Byrds - "Going Back"   A couple of years ago I attempted to rank the best 50 West Ham players of all time, and ended up in more arguments about Yossi Benayoun than I expected. With that task behind me I decided that the time was ripe to spend my lockdown summer pondering the best matches I've seen as a West Ham fan. And yes, I'm aware it's now 2021 but you know that my favourite speed, much like Mark Noble these days, is "glacial".  Before I start, an important caveat - I restricted myself to the Premier League era ..read more

"What's left for you and me? I ask that question rhetorically" - Alvvays, "In Undertow" McNulty! The West Ham board have been doing stupid things. It's The H List bat signal. I am, I suspect, quite a long way behind the rest of you, but I have stumbled upon something that has rather simplified my life. Much like the brilliant, multi faceted Showtime drama "The Affair", this required alternate viewpoints and an ability to stop seeing only one side of the story, but after a decade of smashing my head fruitlessly against the wall of Sullivanism I have finally seen the light. For those ..read more

"Seems like every time you turn around, There's another hard luck story that you're gonna hear" - Bob Dylan, "Black Diamond Bay" There is an issue that has been vexing West Ham fans this week. It's been bubbling around for a while and finally came to the surface during our rousing 1-1 draw at home to Liverpool. You probably know what I'm talking about...yes, it's the huge issue of away fans sitting in the home end at the London Stadium. Time to dust off the laptop, say I.  That's not the current club crest, oh wait. I've followed this topic all week as various forums and social med ..read more

(Longread - allow 10-12 minutes) *** I often wonder what is wrong with me. When I log on to the Internet, I have the entirety of human creative and cultural output at my fingertips, and I could look at all manner of incredible things. The writing of Shakespeare, the paintings of Constable, the "films" of Guy Ritchie. Almost all the touch points of human evolution are within my grasp and yet still I am drawn inexorably, magnetically, towards reading about and watching sport. So rather than being elevated by the beauty of "The Hay Wain" or a bare knuckle boxing version of Sherlock Holmes, I ..read more