by Michelle Watson Canfield, PhD, LPC Dad, there’s something important you need to know about your daughter. Here it is, short and to the point: When a girl or woman knows and feels she is loved by her dad, she will have: greater confidence stronger inner fortitude higher self-esteem deeper compassion increased empathy Those are clear outcomes based on numerous research studies, and I hope you view those as motivation to continue investing in your daughter and filling up that relationship bucket with consistent deposits. Just in case you don’t hear it enough, let me make this clear: You a ..read more

  As a father, it’s good if you actively observe April Fool’s Day—not by playing cruel tricks on your children, but by celebrating those relationships with lots of laughter. Victor Borge said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” You already know this, of course. Many dads just naturally bring out the funny, playful side in their kids. And somehow those lighthearted times together help to strengthen and deepen the relationship. Being positive and joyful is always a good thing. There are more benefits. According to author Joseph Michelli, children who appreciate humor ..read more

Holy Week is a great time to remind and challenge you about one of the most profound ways you can influence your children—in faith and spiritual matters. There’s a wide range of approaches to faith, just like there are many different traditions for the Easter holiday. Maybe you’ll celebrate on Sunday by attending services with your family, maybe with a special brunch or dinner together. Maybe you’ve been observing lent during the weeks leading up to Sunday. Maybe for your family it’s all about egg hunts, bunnies and candy, or maybe Easter has no significance for you and you pretty much skip ..read more

A dad named Allan wrote to me, not asking should I teach my daughter about sex, but how should I? You see, he’s a single dad. And, he’s wondering, should I find a woman to talk to her? I commend Allan for recognizing the importance of this area of his daughter’s life. Too many married dads leave it completely up to their wives. But even those dads should be involved.  Every child needs accurate information about sexuality from someone who cares deeply about her.  With daughters, it does help to get a woman involved. For single dads, that means finding someone you trust, who sha ..read more

I’m reminded of one father who instilled the value of hard work into his daughter. Harry regularly took his daughter Demi to work with him, where she learned the value of hard work, honesty, and generosity. When she grew older, she went to work for him every day, and their relationship flourished as the business took off.  When Harry passed away his daughter took over the company. Shortly after the company’s revenues rose to be in the hundreds of millions, and Demi carried on her father’s traditions of hard work, honesty, and being generous.   Dad, in a similar way, you can p ..read more

In a world that is sexually spinning out of control, what can we do to protect and support our daughters in this caustic environment?  Now, we know that girls are wired uniquely different than boys. Where boys may be lured in more by the visual temptation, it’s the relationship—the intimacy—that attracts the girls. They are drawn by the imagination, the attention, the affection and romance. Women are often the ones reading the romance novels, and watching romantic movies, because that emotion and intimacy—even if it’s staged—appeals to them. So, the best thing we can do as dads is affi ..read more

teve had an important lunch appointment. He had traveled several hundred miles, and he was more than a little nervous. But this meeting wasn’t to cut some business deal. It was to start a new relationship. His luncheon partner was his daughter. Michelle had left home for college two years earlier. She came home for Christmas, spring break, and summer vacation, but Steve never really felt like he got to talk with her.  Michelle was nervous too. Her friends kidded her about being in the “major of the month” club as she struggled to find her way in determining what to focus on in her colleg ..read more

How would you train someone to spot a counterfeit bill? Well, you’d probably make them aware of the common methods of copying the original, and you’d point out telltale signs of fakery. But most of all, you’d want that person to be very, very familiar with the real thing. If they know the real thing very precisely, they’ll be able to spot a counterfeit right away.  There’s also an application for fathers of daughters. It’s our responsibility to be that original, that “real thing” as our daughters learn to relate to boys and eventually start dating.  That’s why daddy-daughter dates ..read more

Today your daughter has opportunities that mom and grandma never dreamed of. Women’s sports are making their mark. Of note are women’s basketball programs that rival the men’s. At some Big Ten universities, in fact, the women’s games are one of the hottest tickets in town.  Institutions of higher education and government are making strides, but a great deal still depends on you, Dad. This has always been the case. One 47-year-old woman writes of growing up as one of six girls in an era that suppressed women’s participation in sports, but this did not deter her father. She writes: “But wi ..read more

More and more research is finding that “a key component of a woman’s sense of worth is rooted in her experience with her father.”  Cute little girls just love to be hugged by their daddies. It’s nurturing at its best. Yet before you know it, she has become more than cute — more like a woman. Suddenly, nurturing her isn’t so easy, more like scary.  Set aside all the incest cases you’ve heard about. It’s important that you find a comfortable, appropriate way to continue demonstrating physical affection to your maturing daughter. Kisses to her forehead. A side-by-side arm around her sh ..read more