Am I The Toxic One In My Relationship?
Beyond The Blues
by Kia
2y ago
We all question it at some point, don’t we? Maybe we’ve had a bad day and snapped at them for no reason. Maybe we’re guiltily snooping through their text messages. Whatever the case, at some point we all stop to ask ourselves, even if it’s just for a second, “Wait – am I the toxic one in the relationship? For me, the answer used to be a big fat yes. As a teenager, I was your stereotypical toxic girlfriend. I had a sackload of unresolved childhood trauma, undiagnosed mental health issues and a seriously warped view of love that would cause all of my relationships to crash and burn. Of course, a ..read more
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30 Things To Be Grateful For; A Gratitude List
Beyond The Blues
by Kia
3y ago
“I hate my life” “Nothing ever works out” “Everything sucks” Ah, the mantras of my youth. Until my early-twenties, I was an angsty, self-destructive pessimist who thought things like ‘mindfulness’ and ‘gratitude lists’ were just cheesy, cliched fads.  However, there came a point in my life where I decided that even pseudo-positivity had to be better than the crippling, soul-destroying, internal agony of BPD. So I said fuck it and, along with mindfulness, self-care routines and all the other things my edgy teenage self loathed, I wrote my first gratitude list. Much to 14-year-old me’s disg ..read more
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Self-Care Sunday; WellBox Review
Beyond The Blues
by Kia
3y ago
PR Sample After a particularly hard week of struggling to make ends meet as a work-from-homer, I was so grateful to the Wellbox team for gifting me with a mental health wellness box, packed with everything needed for a stress-free self-care Sunday! Wellbox are a company dedicated to spreading the love through personalised wellness boxes and gift hampers. Their boxes make cute, thoughtful gifts for friends, family or working-from-home employees who might be struggling with their mental health or are in need of some TLC. They also make amazing gifts for yourself, of course. Because you’re absol ..read more
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Journal Prompts for BPD
Beyond The Blues
by Kia
3y ago
Have you ever thought about using journaling to manage BPD? Don’t worry, even I was sceptical at first. I’ve filled countless diaries over the years and although it started off innocently enough, my teenage musings grew increasingly morbid. It got to the point where I gave up on diaries completely, convinced that writing down my depressing thoughts only made things worse. However, using journal prompts for BPD involves so much more than just scribbling down diary entries. While it can be used as a mind-dump for chaotic or overwhelming thoughts, journaling encourages you to write with purposefu ..read more
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How To Resolve and Release Emotional Pain
Beyond The Blues
by Kia
3y ago
Us humans are incredibly emotional creatures. We are naturally sensitive, reactive and empathetic, capable of burning passion, overwhelming joy – and intense emotional pain. Learning how to release emotional pain in a healthy way is something I used to seriously struggle with. Depression, anxiety and BPD made me prone to self-destruction, meaning any distressing emotion I had was met with [insert unhealthy coping mechanism here]. Literally any, it was that bad. Mental illness or not, we all go through hardships in life. Whether it be a relationship breakdown or a close bereavement, there will ..read more
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“Insomnia Is Driving Me Crazy” – Insomnia and Suicidal Thoughts
Beyond The Blues
by Kia
3y ago
TW; Suicide. So, the time is 6am and I’ve barely slept a wink for 3 nights straight. On my first two sleepless nights I got up and read, watched TV and baked some cookies. Tonight I stayed in bed, crying from exhaustion, re-living my childhood traumas and stewing in self-loathing. Insomnia is driving me crazy tonight but it’s nowhere near as bad as it used to be. It went from being a minor inconvenience at 12 years old to the main aggravator of my raging depression at 13, filling night after night with panic attacks, self-harm, suicidal thoughts and perverted creeps. Of course, nobody took it ..read more
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Stop Comparing Yourself To Others On Social Media
Beyond The Blues
by Kia
3y ago
Social media can be a melting pot of insecurity. A seriously addictive, soul-destroying melting pot. We know that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others on social media, but it’s pretty damn hard when every other photo we scroll past seems to be of a perfect-bodied, flawless-skinned influencer promoting a product we could never afford. Our friends seem to be constantly announcing their pregnancies, promotions, engagements and weight-loss wins. They have tons of supportive friends and exciting life experiences. We can’t help but compare our lives to theirs and think “why do I not have what th ..read more
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7 Mental Health Reminders For Difficult Times
Beyond The Blues
by Kia
3y ago
When you’re going through challenging times in your life, it can be difficult to see the light through the darkness. Sometimes we need some simple, positive mental health reminders just to help us calm the storm – even if it’s only by a little bit. These mental health reminders are nothing revolutionary. They are just simple truths about the world that we often forget about in hard times, especially if our judgement is clouded by anxiety’s paranoia or depression’s malicious lies. Even if these mental health reminders don’t fix everything, I hope they can offer you a tiny piece of comfort on yo ..read more
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Life In A Lockdown; A Mental Health Diary
Beyond The Blues
by Kia
3y ago
So, we are currently on our third national lockdown and have at least a month left of isolation. I’ve talked to quite a few people who’ve slowly managed to adjust to the new normal. Some people have even benefited from it, finally able to invest time in the things they find most important: side-hustles, hobbies, self-care and family life. It’s beautiful that even amid the sadness, fear and uncertainty, there are still some positives to be found Of course, the pandemic has also caused a pretty severe mental health crisis, with people experiencing more stress, anxiety and depression than ever ..read more
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Self-Help For BPD
Beyond The Blues
by Kia
3y ago
Self-help for BPD should be completed alongside therapy. To read my full disclaimer, please click here. Living with borderline personality disorder is mentally and emotionally exhausting. We are constantly internalising intense emotions and trying not to let them destroy us. Day in and day out we grapple against self-destructive urges and paranoid fears of abandonment, trying to ignore the voices telling us over and over again that we are broken. Self-care and self-help is essential for BPD, even more so during the current pandemic. Mental health services are strained and professional help is ..read more
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